Mid-November

Somehow the fall has passed me by. Technically I know that's not true, but there are more leaves on the ground than on the trees and we had our first snowfall last week, so never mind what the calendar says,  it feels like winter has started.

With it came our first illnesses of the season. The Bug vomited in bed a week ago Friday and we've been dealing with all sorts of bodily fluids since then, because of course, just about the time she was starting to feel better the school called to let me know The Bean was feeling sick. I'm completely run down. I've been trying to push through it during the days, but by the evenings even talking is taking the wind out of me and sleep is interrupted by coughing fits throughout the night. I just hope I'm doing better by the time it hits Jen, because despite all the oregano oil she's downing every morning, she's probably next.

I think I owe this blog a summer bucket list update, but summer seems so long ago. I will likely just leave it at that we didn't complete our entire list, but we had a good summer. We were outside a lot. We visited family and friends. We swam and hiked and played and read and chilled and ate about a bazillion popsicles. Just what summers should be.

The kids started back to school without any issues. The Bean was so ready for Grade One. His teacher is a little more no-nonsense than last year's, but that's okay for him. He's been happy to be able to do "Kilometer Club" at recess and participate in some of the activities kindergarteners are excluded from. He's been acing his spelling tests every week. With the exception of a girl in his class who seems to enjoy annoying him, he doesn't have any complaints about school. Buggy is also doing well. She seems more confident than she was last year. I worry a little about her academic skills, but I have been reminding myself that had she been born a week later she'd be a grade below where she is. She's funny and clever and very sweet and has a wickedly good memory, she just doesn't read yet. I'm sure she'll get there. It's hard not to compare. Parent/Teacher interviews are on Thursday night. We'll get the official school updates then.

Speaking of the school, I took on the role of School Council Chair this year. There wasn't anyone who wanted to step forward, so I thought since I'm already there so often and pretty involved already it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Silly me. (Though, to be fair, I was a little mislead by the previous chair, who assured me it was only "an hour or two" of work a week. More like and hour or two a day...) Anyway, all that to say my free time has been a lot less free, keeping up on emails, and insurance documents, and fundraising plans, etc. etc. I keep thinking things will  settle down, but I at this point I'm starting to realize that's probably wishful thinking.

So, anyway, here we are. Well past summer. Winter and all the holiday and birthday craziness just around the corner. I'm working on wish lists and party planning, and thinking about what to pack when we go down for Thanksgiving next week and what we'll wear for our annual family photos. Things don't ever seem to slow down. But, sickness aside, everything is good. We have a week of vacation to look forward to. We have an almost-five-year old who is obsessed with unicorns and mermaids, likes conducting science experiments, and still snuggles me every morning, and an almost-seven-year old who loves tech-y gadgets, soccer and is a voracious reader. My wife wakes up at 5:30am every day so she can do professional reading, bikes to work in the most colourful bike gear in all of uptown, and despite me not taking complements well, is incredibly sweet and doting and helpful. I have amazing friends. I'm enjoying tutoring and working over lunches at the school. I've got a few good books stacked on my night table. Life is pretty good right now. 

Family

Tomorrow we get back to our regular routine, after The Bean having a week off for March Break. We spent the first part of the week at Jen's parents'. We drove up Friday night, Jen left Sunday (she had to be back for work), and the kids and I stayed through Wednesday to get a couple of extra days with Grandma and Grandpa.

The kids just love it there. The Bean was so joy-filled on Saturday morning when he was outside playing he kept exclaiming, "I'm just so happy!" Goodness, how that made me wish we lived closer. Sprout, always Grandma's girl, took to her even more this visit to the point of rejecting me for her. What a strange feeling! Apart from a GORGEOUS Saturday, the weather was pretty soggy, so most of our days were spent indoors, but the kids did enjoyed themselves, regardless. We went to see Zootopia one day and another day went to the play area at the local mall to burn off some steam. It went quickly, as our trips there do.

I am so glad that our kids enjoy spending time with Jen's family. I enjoy spending time with them too. I really lucked out in the in-law department. It's not something that I take for granted.

Things have certainly improved over the years with my mom. I know that the adult relationships will never be quite as comfortable as the ones we have with Jen's parents though. The kids, however, love their Oma and are always very happy to spend time with her. She's surprised me twice recently --once by apologizing for kicking me out. I never, ever thought that day would come. She seemed genuinely remorseful and it felt good (though that's not quite the right word) to finally have the injustice of the situation acknowledged. The second surprise is that she agreed to watch the kids for two nights when we go to Boston for our friends' wedding in April. I don't think The Bean and Sprout have registered the fact that they aren't coming to the wedding yet (we originally thought it was going to be kid-friendly, but as plans progressed it turned out not to be) and they'll likely be a little disappointed when that realization sets in, but I think knowing that they're going to have a few days with Oma will help soften the blow. I just hope Oma can handle things here!

As I mentioned in my previous post, my sister and I are still not speaking. There are issues, like the holidays, that make me feel disappointed that this is where things have progressed to, but I feel like the decision to cut ties has been the right one. The upcoming holiday along with watching our two kids interact this week has had me thinking about how my mom must feel about our estrangement. Still, I think I would be absolutely heartbroken if The Bean and Sprout found themselves in a similar situation as adults. Witnessing their sibling bond is one of my greatest joys. They have their moments, but overall they are so good with each other and I am so grateful for their relationship. I hope they remain close as they grow up. (My sister and I have always had a volatile relationship, which I thought we had outgrown, but I suppose not. My brother and I, much like Jen and her brother, get along fine, but are not close.)

Overall we're really lucky with family. My aunt is almost like another grandparent to the kids, and my cousins are like aunts and uncles. The biggest complaint is that so much of our family lives far away and we don't get to see them nearly as much as we'd like to.

SBL #12 aka Mama and Mommy's Trip To Paris!

This blog entry is going to be a photo-heavy, but PARIS.  I don't think an apology is really necessary. 

I have to admit, I cheated a little bit by including entry #12 on our Summer Bucket List.  This trip has been in the works for at least the past six months.  It's something that we knew for sure would be happening, but still, I felt like too big of a summer event not to include.

There is really so much I could say about this trip.  Paris is somewhere Jen and I have talked about going together before The Bean was even born.  Her 40th birthday is coming up next month, this coupled with having a job this past year that provided enough "extra" money to afford such a trip plus not having gone anywhere since before the kids were born and now having kids old enough to leave for a week meant that this was actually something we could make happen.

Making the effort to do something special with just the two of us also seemed like something that would be good for our relationship. It's very easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day of family life. Spending time on us has taking a backseat to spending time on the family. It was a great opportunity to spend time together, have actual uninterrupted conversations, and just enjoy each other's company. 

Jen's parents agreed to watch the kids while we were gone. I don't think there's anyone else we would have asked or trusted for that amount of time. And even though we have every confidence in their ability to care for our kids, it was still hard. I have never been away from Sprout overnight. She still nurses. And even though he's much more independent, the longest I've been away from The Bean is under 24 hours. I managed to hold things together, but almost broke down when Jen's mom grabbed my shoulders and reassured me that "THEY ARE GOING TO BE JUST FINE!" as I warned her about reading labels to make sure foods she was giving The Bean didn't contain dairy.

(For the record, I did tear up when we got back and both kids gave me the biggest and best hugs, proclaiming "I love you, Mama!  I missed you! I'm so happy you're home!" It made missing them all week almost worthwhile in itself.) 

So, we drove down to PA on Friday, returned to Toronto on Saturday and then boarded our flight to gay Paris on Sunday. Quite a whirlwind. After climbing the ninety-one (yes, ninety-one!) stairs leading up to our fifth floor apartment, we stepped out onto the balcony to take in the view. Totally worth it.

We lay pretty low our first day there. After unpacking and a mid-day nap (!) we walked down the street to Notre Dame and for a bit of a neighbourhood exploration.

Tuesday we hit up the Arc de Triomphe. We opted not to walk up the stairs to the top and instead window shopped along the Champs-Elysee before heading over to a park to walk around some more.  

The Pompidou Centre was a stone's throw away from our apartment, and we walked by it most nights.  This piece of graffiti art was pretty awesome.  

After dinner on Tuesday we took a river cruise along the Seine.  It was beautiful, but too dark to capture most of the landmarks we passed.  

The next day we went to see the Eiffel Tower up-close. We walked through the Trocadaro Gardens, then up to La Tour Eiffel. After waiting in the line for the elevator for a ridiculously long time, with an even ridiculously longer wait ahead of us, we decided to take the stairs. After a much shorter wait we were headed up to the first level. We rewarded ourselves with gelato at the top. We walked through Champ de Mars on our way home.

That evening we walked up Rue de Rivoli to the Louvre. We didn't go in, but walked around the outside and watched the sun set as we headed towards the Tuileries to enjoy a bottle of wine. From the gardens we noticed that the Ferris Wheel wasn't so far away and decided to walk over. Turns out there was a whole fair set up, so walked through stopping at the fun house (Jen's choice) and for a crepe (my choice).  

Thursday, before heading towards the Opera House, we searched out the flower market. The market itself was a bit of a bust in that it was more houseplants than the beautiful cut flowers I had been envisioning, but it was nice walking along the Seine just the same. 

The Palais Garnier was probably the most surprising highlight of the trip. Jen, who loves The Phantom of the Opera, really wanted to see it. We did an iPad guided tour that was fantastic. I would definitely recommend it to anyone travelling to Paris!

We then headed over to Sacre Coeur. After climbing the steps and deciding that the motto "City of Lights" should be changed to "City of Stairs" we enjoyed the spectacular view. Afterwards we roamed the streets of Montmartre before finding a Metro station and heading back to the apartment.

Friday was our art gallery day. I love impressionism and post-impressionism, so the D'Orsay was an easy choice. The gallery itself was gorgeous and there was just enough of the art that we were most interested in seeing to make it not so overwhelming yet still worthwhile. We actually left and then went back in because I realized we had missed all of the Toulouse-Lautrecs. 

After that we headed back towards "home" and the Picasso Museum. This, sadly, was one of the biggest disappointments of the trip. I adore Picasso's early works (particularly his rose period) and was really looking forward to seeing it. There was ONE painting from this period in the gallery. And one from his blue period, the next group of his works I was the most interested in seeing. I did find this gem, which made me think of our kiddos and smile, but miss them.

Saturday, our last day in Paris, was reserved for Versailles.  We took the RER out of the city and found the palace without any issue at all. It'd be pretty hard to miss. Opulent is the word that comes to mind when thinking of Versaille. The size! The furniture! The art! The gardens! It really is something to see!  Unfortunately the insanely large crowds made touring the actual palace quite unenjoyable and we ended up leaving before going through the whole thing.

Our last evening in Paris we went out for a nice dinner in Marais and were treated to the most beautiful sunset from our balcony after arriving back home. The last photo I took was inadvertently almost identical to the first photo I took. 

We started dreaming about our next trip before this one was even over...

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UPDATED: The Two Moms to Be Summer Bucket List for 2015

1. Check out new parks and go back to old favourites.

2. Swim in Lake Ontario. 

3. Visit animals at the zoo.

4. Spend time in nature. Look for new "nature spots" in the city.

5. Donate books to the book bank.

6. Smell flowers at botanical gardens.

7. Go to the Toronto Islands.

8. Make popsicles.

9. Meet up with local bloggers.

10. Paint rocks that we find at the beach.

11. Go to a fair.  

12. Take a moms-only trip. 

13. Eat things that we have grown and/or picked ourselves.

Urban vs. Suburban Living

I'm a city girl.  I was born in Toronto and have lived within a 2.5 mile radius my entire life.  As a young child I dreamed about living in the country.  More specifically, I wanted to live on a farm in the country breathing fresh country air and riding my own horse everyday after school.  But by the time I was a teenager I couldn't imagine living outside the city though.  That only amplified when I was in my twenties.  And though I still love all the city has to offer, I can see advantages to suburban living.

So, even though it's nearly 300 miles away, I feel like our kids are fortunate to have a second home in what I joke is the country but Jen adamantly argues is the suburbs.  Jen's parents still live in her childhood home and several times a year we're able to go back there and visit.  Extended visits, like the one we had last week, are particularly nice.

As soon as the kids wake up they're begging to go outside.  We try to distract them indoors until the sun has warmed up the air a little bit and the grass isn't quite so wet with dew.

They're happy to play in the yard, but the country-loving girl in me always tries to encourage them to walk down to the nearby park to visit the pond and "forest."  The promise of being able to feed the geese and ducks the heels of our bread usually gets the sometimes obstinate toddler to comply with my requests.  Once the crusts have all been gobbled up or dissolved into the water we make our way through the woods on the far side of the pond.  The Bean likes picking up pine cones along the way.  Sprout still gets carried most of the time to speed things along but also so that she doesn't trip over roots or get poked by the twigs on low branches.

I sometimes imagine how different their lives would be if they had this open access to the outdoors all the time.  I think they would love it.  But then we drive to WalMart and I see man + woman = marriage bumper stickers and people dressed in head-to-toe camo and I know that someplace like this wouldn't be the best home for us.  We need the acceptance/indifference of other city-dwelling folks.  The balance we have of a home in the city and a home-away-from-home in the country seems to be a pretty good one for our family.

I'm curious to know where other people live and how you decided on settling there.  Feel free to comment, if you're so inclined.

Childhood Memories

Jen's parents' property backs onto a park.  It's small, but it's scenic and usually very quiet.  One of my favourite things to do while visiting has always been to walk down and make a loop around the pond there.   

Even though I grew up in the city, I've always loved being in nature.  Growing up, we'd go "up north" to cottage country twice a year.  Whether it was our summer or our fall visit, I would always pack a bathing suit so I could swim in the lake.  Aside from being in the water, my favourite thing about being up north would be going on walks through the woods with my dad.  I don't remember what we would talk about, but I remember the trees and the heavy smell of the air.  It was quiet and we were in no hurry to be anywhere.  Our walks are one of my favourite childhood memories.  

As the kids get older I think a lot about what they will remember of their childhoods.  About what I want them to remember.  

This past visit, like most others, I made sure that we went for a little walks out back to the pond.  

 

 

I hope that they remember what it's like to be in the quiet with tall trees all around.