Mid-November

Somehow the fall has passed me by. Technically I know that's not true, but there are more leaves on the ground than on the trees and we had our first snowfall last week, so never mind what the calendar says,  it feels like winter has started.

With it came our first illnesses of the season. The Bug vomited in bed a week ago Friday and we've been dealing with all sorts of bodily fluids since then, because of course, just about the time she was starting to feel better the school called to let me know The Bean was feeling sick. I'm completely run down. I've been trying to push through it during the days, but by the evenings even talking is taking the wind out of me and sleep is interrupted by coughing fits throughout the night. I just hope I'm doing better by the time it hits Jen, because despite all the oregano oil she's downing every morning, she's probably next.

I think I owe this blog a summer bucket list update, but summer seems so long ago. I will likely just leave it at that we didn't complete our entire list, but we had a good summer. We were outside a lot. We visited family and friends. We swam and hiked and played and read and chilled and ate about a bazillion popsicles. Just what summers should be.

The kids started back to school without any issues. The Bean was so ready for Grade One. His teacher is a little more no-nonsense than last year's, but that's okay for him. He's been happy to be able to do "Kilometer Club" at recess and participate in some of the activities kindergarteners are excluded from. He's been acing his spelling tests every week. With the exception of a girl in his class who seems to enjoy annoying him, he doesn't have any complaints about school. Buggy is also doing well. She seems more confident than she was last year. I worry a little about her academic skills, but I have been reminding myself that had she been born a week later she'd be a grade below where she is. She's funny and clever and very sweet and has a wickedly good memory, she just doesn't read yet. I'm sure she'll get there. It's hard not to compare. Parent/Teacher interviews are on Thursday night. We'll get the official school updates then.

Speaking of the school, I took on the role of School Council Chair this year. There wasn't anyone who wanted to step forward, so I thought since I'm already there so often and pretty involved already it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Silly me. (Though, to be fair, I was a little mislead by the previous chair, who assured me it was only "an hour or two" of work a week. More like and hour or two a day...) Anyway, all that to say my free time has been a lot less free, keeping up on emails, and insurance documents, and fundraising plans, etc. etc. I keep thinking things will  settle down, but I at this point I'm starting to realize that's probably wishful thinking.

So, anyway, here we are. Well past summer. Winter and all the holiday and birthday craziness just around the corner. I'm working on wish lists and party planning, and thinking about what to pack when we go down for Thanksgiving next week and what we'll wear for our annual family photos. Things don't ever seem to slow down. But, sickness aside, everything is good. We have a week of vacation to look forward to. We have an almost-five-year old who is obsessed with unicorns and mermaids, likes conducting science experiments, and still snuggles me every morning, and an almost-seven-year old who loves tech-y gadgets, soccer and is a voracious reader. My wife wakes up at 5:30am every day so she can do professional reading, bikes to work in the most colourful bike gear in all of uptown, and despite me not taking complements well, is incredibly sweet and doting and helpful. I have amazing friends. I'm enjoying tutoring and working over lunches at the school. I've got a few good books stacked on my night table. Life is pretty good right now. 

Coming Out

Last night, when I was vegging out, scrolling through FaceBook I came across a few posts about National Coming Out Day. I'm always conflicted when I see these things. Coming out was a process for me. It was not easy. Short story, which I do believe I've shared here before, is that when my mother suspected that I was in a relationship with a woman I was kicked out of the house. I always feel a need to say, "Protect yourself!" when I see what could be construed as across the board encouragement for people to come out and that things "get better."

After some consideration, I decided to make a post. I tried to be very thoughtful in my wording. To acknowledge the support I have received and for which I am beyond thankful (including my mother's --while there will always be some element of hurt and lost trust, we have come a long way and that isn't something I take for granted), while also acknowledging that coming out can be hard and asking for compassion from those who find themselves being "come out" to.

Here is what I wrote:

Coming out can be a very difficult process for so many of us. Speaking to my own experience, it is terrifying to worry how the people who matter most to you will react. Please be kind. Please try to put your fears and prejudices aside and show love to anyone who trusts you enough to come out to you. It may not be easy for you, but I am almost certain that it is harder for them.

My heartfelt gratitude to everyone who has supported me since I came out and who supports me now.

I knew if my mom saw my post she might feel defensive. I hoped that she would take it for what it was --a call for empathy. Support for those who need it. Unfortunately she did not. She wrote a response in which she tried to justify her actions. The two of us have had these conversations. As much as I am ever going to, I understand that her fear came from a place of love. I really have tried to move on. It's been 17 years. She does her best to show support now for myself, Jen and the kids. I wasn't trying to rehash anything. Not trying to make anyone feel guilty.

Anyway, the result is that because of her response I felt the need to further defend/explain myself. To seek reassurances and perspective from friends whose opinions I value. In many ways I think the post was successful in opening some interesting topics up for discussion. But still, it's been an emotional day which was very much NOT the intention.

Trying to navigate feelings that will always be hurt while trying to reassuring the person who hurt them in the first place... it's hard.

So that's what's been up here in the past 24 hours. I realize I need to update on the past three months, and I will try to get there. My brain has been pretty full lately.

'Tis the Season

Despite my best intentions, I don't seem to be able to get here to write as often as I would like to.
I naively thought that I'd have all kinds of free time once both kids were in school. Turns out I'm still busy.

I've been trying to take care of the majority of the household chores during week so that we have free time to spend as a family on the weekends. In addition to that I've been doing a good bit of volunteering --an outdoor education class for preschoolers on Mondays, the school kitchen on Tuesday mornings, reading with first graders at the school on Wednesday mornings, a first grade class in a school in the next district over on Thursdays but nothing on Fridays. I'm also the Class Parent in the kids' class as well as the "Class Parent Coordinator" for the school.

Most of the volunteering has ended for the year and I have a little bit more free time thiscoming week. I'm sure it will still go quickly. The kids holidays don't start until the 24th, and they're off school until the 9th. Jen will take the week between Christmas and New Years. It will be nice to have a good stretch of time all together.

We'll be spending Christmas Eve at my moms, as we always do. Christmas Day we'll drive down to PA to spend time with Jen's family. Aside from cupcakes day-of, which is sort of a tradition now, we've decided to defer the kids' birthday celebrations until the new year. There won't be a big party this year, but we'll have some family over to help celebrate with cake. A princess cake for the four year old and a Storm Trooper cake for the six year old.

I don't think it will ever cease to blow my mind each time the kids celebrate a birthday. Four years ago today was actually Sprout's due date. I was huge and totally uncomfortable and feeling SO impatient.

Next weekend: cupcakes and Christmas. This weekend: early holiday celebrations, snow, and hopefully a few slow moments to sit back and soak it all in.

Thanksgiving

Today was Thanksgiving here in Canada. A holiday I enjoy, marking a season I enjoy even more. And this weekend was an absolutely perfect fall weekend. Sunny, crisp, leaves just starting to show their colours.

We spent Friday at the Zoo with one of the kids' new classmates and her Mama. They're also a two-mom  household. Their little girl and Sprout have become quite good friends in the past month, and I really enjoy chatting with L, who does most of the school pick ups and drop offs. I was a little worried The Bean would feel left out, not having his own friend there, but it was a non-issue; all three kids got along wonderfully. L and I laughed, because at the end of the day we really could have just taken them to a park. They spent more time climbing on rocks, playing with sticks, and jumping in leaf piles than they did looking at animals, but they were happy, which really was the main goal of spending the day out together.

 

 

Saturday started off a bit rainy and grey, but it cleared up by lunchtime and we were able to go to the apple farm, which is something we'd put off from last weekend when it was much to rainy to even consider going. We took a tractor ride out to the orchard and filled up a bag with apples, then headed back so the kids could play on the massive bales of hay. 

Our neighbours had us over for dinner that night. They are a lovely family with two girls, fairly close in age to our two kiddos. Our kids were overtired and bit more wild than I would have liked, but it was still a nice visit. I had an interesting conversation with the father, who is also an identical twin, but quite different from his brother. It feels good to know that there are other twins who aren't BFFs. (I haven't posted much about it here, but my sister and I have not been on speaking terms for nearly a year. I'm mostly okay with this as I am no longer willing to tolerate the was she was treating me or my family, but it can be hard to knowing that I'm/we're not meeting people's expectations in terms of what a twin relationship should look like.)

Sunday we had our usual running around --me tutoring in the morning followed by the kids' gymnastics lessons mid-day-- followed by getting ready for hosting Thanksgiving. It was our first time hosting a holiday. We got off pretty easy, as the only guest was my mom, but still, I was concerned about everything coming together. Jen managed the kids while I holed up in the kitchen. Everything turned out pretty much perfectly! The food was delicious and everything was on the table even before the time we're usually sitting down for dinner. I prepared turkey, stuffing, roasted potatoes and carrots, mashed sweet potato, and green beans, along with cranberry sauce and gravy. Oh, and pumpkin muffins for dessert! Yum! I'm looking forward to eating the leftovers this week.

Today was another gorgeous day. Just the four of us went to one of my favourite places in the city --The Brickworks. We did a walk through the quarry, along the railroad tracks, and then back to the Children's Garden for the kids to play. We could have stayed longer, I'm sure, but tomorrow we will have to get back to the regular routine, so it seemed best not to push it.

There are more substantial things that I'd like to write about, but it's getting late. Fluffy surface level will have to do for now. Happy Thanksgiving, friends.

Family

Tomorrow we get back to our regular routine, after The Bean having a week off for March Break. We spent the first part of the week at Jen's parents'. We drove up Friday night, Jen left Sunday (she had to be back for work), and the kids and I stayed through Wednesday to get a couple of extra days with Grandma and Grandpa.

The kids just love it there. The Bean was so joy-filled on Saturday morning when he was outside playing he kept exclaiming, "I'm just so happy!" Goodness, how that made me wish we lived closer. Sprout, always Grandma's girl, took to her even more this visit to the point of rejecting me for her. What a strange feeling! Apart from a GORGEOUS Saturday, the weather was pretty soggy, so most of our days were spent indoors, but the kids did enjoyed themselves, regardless. We went to see Zootopia one day and another day went to the play area at the local mall to burn off some steam. It went quickly, as our trips there do.

I am so glad that our kids enjoy spending time with Jen's family. I enjoy spending time with them too. I really lucked out in the in-law department. It's not something that I take for granted.

Things have certainly improved over the years with my mom. I know that the adult relationships will never be quite as comfortable as the ones we have with Jen's parents though. The kids, however, love their Oma and are always very happy to spend time with her. She's surprised me twice recently --once by apologizing for kicking me out. I never, ever thought that day would come. She seemed genuinely remorseful and it felt good (though that's not quite the right word) to finally have the injustice of the situation acknowledged. The second surprise is that she agreed to watch the kids for two nights when we go to Boston for our friends' wedding in April. I don't think The Bean and Sprout have registered the fact that they aren't coming to the wedding yet (we originally thought it was going to be kid-friendly, but as plans progressed it turned out not to be) and they'll likely be a little disappointed when that realization sets in, but I think knowing that they're going to have a few days with Oma will help soften the blow. I just hope Oma can handle things here!

As I mentioned in my previous post, my sister and I are still not speaking. There are issues, like the holidays, that make me feel disappointed that this is where things have progressed to, but I feel like the decision to cut ties has been the right one. The upcoming holiday along with watching our two kids interact this week has had me thinking about how my mom must feel about our estrangement. Still, I think I would be absolutely heartbroken if The Bean and Sprout found themselves in a similar situation as adults. Witnessing their sibling bond is one of my greatest joys. They have their moments, but overall they are so good with each other and I am so grateful for their relationship. I hope they remain close as they grow up. (My sister and I have always had a volatile relationship, which I thought we had outgrown, but I suppose not. My brother and I, much like Jen and her brother, get along fine, but are not close.)

Overall we're really lucky with family. My aunt is almost like another grandparent to the kids, and my cousins are like aunts and uncles. The biggest complaint is that so much of our family lives far away and we don't get to see them nearly as much as we'd like to.

Solstice

I'm not sure about everyone else, but the days certainly do feel short around here. Time is flying by. I can hardly believe it's December, let alone nearly Christmas. Nor can I believe that our little Bug is going to be THREE years old in three days. (Or that The Bean will be FIVE in just three weeks!) Where the time goes, I am really not sure.

The weather has been unseasonably warm. We've had only a dusting of snow. It's not what we're used to and certainly doesn't feel very Christmas-y. The kids are excited nonetheless. We've had our tree, stockings, and other seasonal decorations up since just after American Thanksgiving. There are a few gifts under the tree, taunting the children. The Bean legitimately fell onto one of his gifts and tore the paper open, though the reason he was close enough to fall onto the said gift is a little spotty. I made an effort to cut back on Christmas gifts for the kids this year. There is really very little that the need, and even their wish lists were fairly short because, really, they have most things they could want too. Being an one-income household and the crappy Canadian dollar also impacted things. That said, they will both get what they've asked for from Santa -A remote control car for The Bean (he also asked for a remote control airplane, but that is NOT happening) and a cradle for Sprout's babies (my sister mentioned a while ago that she was going to give her one, but we have since had a falling out, so I'm not sure if she will follow through. There is a back up, just in case, but if she does receive it from her Aunt she'll be getting a jewelry box from Santa, which she didn't ask for, but will be thrilled about).

We celebrated with my cousins' family on Sunday. Sprout and my one cousin's son have become quite close. They're only six months apart in age and did a few programs together this fall. Sprout often says she is going to marry him (as she says about all the people she loves most). While we don't condone incest, they are very cute together. And, as I know I've mentioned before, both our kids absolutely adore my other cousin. All that to say they enjoyed the get together. We stayed longer than we should have, and even though they were both in need of a nap, they stuck it out. We even got a cute photo of the exhausted and over-stimulated kids by the tree.

Aside from that we have been downtown to see the windows, visited Santa and had their photos taken, opened Advent calendars, been visited by St. Nicholas, done a little bit of Christmas baking (that has all been eaten) and made Christmas crafts. I don't think there's much more we've got planned in terms of Christmas activities. Mama and Mommy just have to wrap a few more gifts and get us packed up for our travels.

 

We're all looking forward to the holiday and to the return of longer days... even if they do sill fly by.

SBL #2 and #4

First update for the The Two Moms to Be Summer Bucket List for 2015!

We've knocked two items off our list!  Last week we had a mid-week holiday for Canada Day (July 1st), so we decided to take the kids to the beach.  There's a little beach in the city that I hadn't been to for years and thought might be a nice place to check out.  Unfortunately there was quite a bit of litter, including broken glass, so it's probably not somewhere we'll be rushing back to, but still, I'm glad we visited.  It was a cool day and the water quality at this beach is spotty, so we didn't bring our suits, but that didn't stop The Bean and Sprout from wading in.

 Monday I took the kids out of the city to a nicer beach. It was also a warmer day, so better beach weather. And my mom joined us, which made the kiddos (well, all of us, really) quite happy.  

We didn't collect rocks (see SBL #10) on either of our beach trip, so I guess we're either going to have to go back to one of the two we visited or check out a third!  Good thing summer is far from being over.  


UPDATED: The Two Moms to Be Summer Bucket List for 2015

1. Check out new parks and go back to old favourites.

2. Swim in Lake Ontario. 

3. Visit animals at the zoo.

4. Spend time in nature. Look for new "nature spots" in the city.

5. Donate books to the book bank.

6. Smell flowers at botanical gardens.

7. Go to the Toronto Islands.

8. Make popsicles.

9. Meet up with local bloggers.

10. Paint rocks that we find at the beach.

11. Go to a fair.  

12. Take a moms-only trip. 

13. Eat things that we have grown and/or picked ourselves.

Endings (and Beginnings)

It's closing in on midnight as I'm writing this, which is to say, I should be going to bed, but I'm feeling unsettled and thought coming here might help me  process things a bit.

The school year is wrapping up. The students are now finished and it's just paperwork and cleaning up the classroom. I had hoped to finish my report cards by tonight, but that's still a pretty far way off from happening. Oh, how I hate writing report cards. There's never enough space to say anything really significant so I agonize over what to include and how to phrase it. I wonder if the parents even notice. 

I was unable to make it to the closing ceremonies, which felt a bit odd. I said my goodbyes to the students the day before and also goodbyes and thank yous to the parents who I saw. Everyone was kind, saying what a wonderful year it had been and thanking me for the work I did with their children. 

I haven't said much about it, but things weren't going very well with my sister being here with the kids during the day and we now have another care provider. I wanted things to work out with my sister because: sister. But they just weren't. We were very lucky that we were able to find someone else on very short notice and just for this brief period as I wrap up work. It's been going well. The communication isn't the greatest as she is not a native English speaker, but the kids settled into the new routine without missing a beat and actually seem more settled now than they had been. I feel like they must have been picking up on the tension of the situation before. As a bonus, Jen and I might have a new person we can call on for evening babysitting.  

I am still feeling ambivalent about not having work lined up for the fall. I am, however, looking forward to the summer. Things have been piling up in neglected little piles all over the apartment. Mending. Photo albums (and baby books!) to complete. Enough tiny clothing and plastic toys to warrant a garage sale, though the thought of organizing one is a bit overwhelming at this point. And of course, time with the kids to look forward to. I have been compiling a large list of possible activities and outings. Summer Bucket List post is in the works. ;) 

As for tomorrow, I'm hoping to make it to the lake. I haven't been to the beach for ages, but I've been feeling a pull to go. I feel like I need grounding right now and walking on the sand, looking for pebbles washed smooth and listening to the waves just might do the trick. 

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day.

Overall it's a non-event in our two-mom household, but I have found myself thinking about fathers and other father-types the past few days.  

Yesterday afternoon Jen put on some music and we were dancing around the living room with the kids.  Paul Simon's You Can Call Me Al came on.  I'm sure this was intentional on Jen's part.  She knows the memories this song holds for me.  I'm six years old and standing on my dad's feet, curls tickling my back as I look up at his face.  Giggling as we both sing "I can call you Betty/ And Betty when you call me/ You can call me Al/ You can call me Al."  His name is Allan, aka "Al", and though no one ever calls me Al, I still like the joke of him being called Betty.  The Bean and Sprout don't yet know the words, but they giggle as I spin them around the living room, singing loudly and off key.  

Earlier this week Jen's dad reassured me that though things are difficult right now I will never regret  having this time with the kids.  He poured me a whiskey and put on a TV show I could laugh at.  

These men, they're good men.  Our fathers and father-in-laws.  Grandpas and Poppies.  We are lucky to have them.

And though he's not a father to us or our children, I've found myself thinking about our donor.  His reasons for doing what he did.  The gift that he's given us in these children that he will likely never know.  I wish I could thank him.  

While our kids will never have a father to give homemade cards that look like dress shirts with a tie to, there is certainly no shortage of good men in their lives.  Men to show our appreciation to on this day.  One day they might feel like they're missing something other kids have, but I hope it won't be long after that that they'll be able to recognize what they have that other kids might not:  Great grandfathers.  Generous strangers.  And a lot of other people who love them very, very much.  

Mother's Day

A lot of people have been asking me what we do for Mother's Day, and I feel kind of guilty admitting this, but Mother's Day is pretty much a non-event in our house.

When The Bean was in daycare he'd come home with cute crafts and cards x2, which I though was quite sweet. Now that both little ones are home with me, Jen and I agreed that doing something on behalf of the kids for each other seemed a little silly.  

I know some two-mom families who love making a big deal of the day.  And I get that.  Anyone in this situation had to overcome at least a few obstacles to become a mother.  And that's totally worth recognizing and celebrating.  I know other's who divi up Mother's Day and Father's Day, renaming them appropriately.  That's just not us.  

A day spent together, which is what we've got planned, is probably the way we would all prefer to celebrate.  Maybe we'll go to a park.  Maybe the kids will cooperate and I'll get a cute photo of them together, or even better, be able to get someone to take a cute photo of all four of us together.  Maybe I'll paint their hands and stamp them onto a little canvas, or at least a piece of construction paper, because I know next year those hand prints will seem impossibly small just like last year's and the year before's do.  Or maybe the kids will give us what we really, really want and sleep in until 8am.  (Yeah, right.)    

Whatever you're up to tomorrow, I hope all the mother's reading enjoy their special day.

Urban vs. Suburban Living

I'm a city girl.  I was born in Toronto and have lived within a 2.5 mile radius my entire life.  As a young child I dreamed about living in the country.  More specifically, I wanted to live on a farm in the country breathing fresh country air and riding my own horse everyday after school.  But by the time I was a teenager I couldn't imagine living outside the city though.  That only amplified when I was in my twenties.  And though I still love all the city has to offer, I can see advantages to suburban living.

So, even though it's nearly 300 miles away, I feel like our kids are fortunate to have a second home in what I joke is the country but Jen adamantly argues is the suburbs.  Jen's parents still live in her childhood home and several times a year we're able to go back there and visit.  Extended visits, like the one we had last week, are particularly nice.

As soon as the kids wake up they're begging to go outside.  We try to distract them indoors until the sun has warmed up the air a little bit and the grass isn't quite so wet with dew.

They're happy to play in the yard, but the country-loving girl in me always tries to encourage them to walk down to the nearby park to visit the pond and "forest."  The promise of being able to feed the geese and ducks the heels of our bread usually gets the sometimes obstinate toddler to comply with my requests.  Once the crusts have all been gobbled up or dissolved into the water we make our way through the woods on the far side of the pond.  The Bean likes picking up pine cones along the way.  Sprout still gets carried most of the time to speed things along but also so that she doesn't trip over roots or get poked by the twigs on low branches.

I sometimes imagine how different their lives would be if they had this open access to the outdoors all the time.  I think they would love it.  But then we drive to WalMart and I see man + woman = marriage bumper stickers and people dressed in head-to-toe camo and I know that someplace like this wouldn't be the best home for us.  We need the acceptance/indifference of other city-dwelling folks.  The balance we have of a home in the city and a home-away-from-home in the country seems to be a pretty good one for our family.

I'm curious to know where other people live and how you decided on settling there.  Feel free to comment, if you're so inclined.

Disappointed

This is a hard post for me to write, for a few reasons:  I really try not to focus on negative things in this space and  I also try not to criticize others.  I'm going to do a bit of both here.  This is a subject I've avoided blogging in the past, but in light of what's happened the over the past few weeks I feel like I need this space to process things a bit.  I may end up taking it down.  I worry about who might stumble across this and what implications that could have, but for now I need to get this out and have it heard.

There are a few issues at play.  I'm going to try not to be too mumbly jumbly in my thoughts, but consider this a fair warning.  

So...

Growing up I was quite close with my mom.  I was surprised and also very sad when she kicked me out of the house.  I consider that incident a turning point in our relationship.  Prior to that I really did believe that she loved us (her kids) unconditionally, as she had always told us she did.  Afterwards I questioned it.  There have been incidences since then that have made me question some of the other things I always believed were innate to her character.  This goes beyond a child not recognizing their parent as a "whole" person.  Sometimes I honestly wonder if she was ever the person she said/I thought she was.

Always, but more notably since the kids have been born, she has made a point of saying how family is her number one priority.  To be fair, she has visited more often and also helped out a little with cleaning and the like from time to time since the little ones were born.  Last week, when I hurt my eye I honestly didn't know how I would make it through the day without help.  Jen stayed home Monday, but I still wanted someone around on Tuesday.  I called my mom.  She explained that she had a big meeting for the volunteer committee she chairs on Wednesday and that she had to prep for it, and so she wouldn't be able to come.  She also explained that leaving her dog would be hard.  I offered to pay to board the dog for the day, but she still said she couldn't do it.  I understand that her committee is important to her, but it still hurt to hear that she wouldn't come help when I really needed it.  I'm usually quite happy to have her come when she offers, but I rarely ask.

Still feeling like I needed someone, I called Jen's mom.  Without a second of hesitation she said she would be there.  I got my aunt to come help with the kids in the morning.  And my mother-in-law arrived just after the kids got up from their naps in the afternoon.  She stayed until Saturday, so that I could have a full week with help --being able to rest when I needed it.  Having someone available to drive since I wasn't cleared to.  Playing with the kids.  Cleaning up.  Preparing meals.  Everything.  And not one word about any plans she had to cancel or complaints about sleeping on our couch or the cost of gas or having to drive all that way.  Not one.  In fact, she seemed excited to be there.  Happy that I would ask her for help.  The thing is, with her I am not one bit surprised.  She has proven time and time again that she would bend over backwards to do what she can to help us and the kids.

And even though I am not surprised and I am exceedingly grateful, I also feel sad about it.  I want to have the mother who will do this for me.  For my family.  Even though I both love and like my MIL to a degree that most people find perplexing, it's hard to know that my mom isn't willing to do the same.

Right now I would do anything that I thought our kids needed me to do.  I hope that this doesn't change as they grow up.  I want them to know that they can count on my for both love and support.  I know what it feels like to not be able to do that, and it's not a good feeling.

*Jen pointed out that I didn't explain that my mom lives just over an hour away while her parents are nearly six hours away.  So the fact that my mom wouldn't come and her mom would is that much more notable.

Quick Update

Wow.  What a whirlwind the past few weeks have been.

Shortly after my last real update, I came down with a wicked migraine (I think?  I'm not prone to them, but it was definitely more than a headache) followed up by a stomach bug that combined left me pretty much incapacitated for a good four days.

Just a few days after I recovered my best friend came to visit.  Oh, I love her so.  An auntie who indulges them in book-after-book is certainly well-loved by the little ones too.  Her visit was not nearly long enough.

The evening she left Sprout was fussing as I was putting her to bed, flailed and scratched my eye with her tiny razor fingernails.  Aside from labour, the pain was the worst I've ever experienced.  I decided a trip to the ER was necessary and after several hours was sent home with an eye patch and instructions to rest in a dark room for two days.  Jen took the day off on Monday and on Tuesday my cousin and aunt helped out in the morning and Jen's mom came in the afternoon.  From Pittsburgh.  (There's a whole other blog post there, but it will have to wait.)  She returned home this morning and we're more-or-less back to normal.  My vision is still a little blurry, but (thank the gods) the pain is gone.

We welcomed a new baby (my brother's daughter) into the world on Tuesday.  The Bean and I took a short visit to the hospital to say hello.  I look forward to more baby snuggles soon.  (The Bean was quite smitten with her and ever-so-sweetly demanded that he should be the one holding her, so I didn't get nearly as much baby time as I would have liked.  When told her name and nickname and asked what he would call her, he responded, "I am going to call her 'honey.'"  Yeah.  I think he's smitten.)

Oh, and on top of all that excitement, The Bean is now home with us for at least four weeks while his daycare provider undergoes radiation for her thyroid cancer.

Given the way things have been lately, I have a feeling the month is going to go fast.  

{this moment} new papa

A Friday ritual. A single photo  - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

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If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama.

Childhood Memories

Jen's parents' property backs onto a park.  It's small, but it's scenic and usually very quiet.  One of my favourite things to do while visiting has always been to walk down and make a loop around the pond there.   

Even though I grew up in the city, I've always loved being in nature.  Growing up, we'd go "up north" to cottage country twice a year.  Whether it was our summer or our fall visit, I would always pack a bathing suit so I could swim in the lake.  Aside from being in the water, my favourite thing about being up north would be going on walks through the woods with my dad.  I don't remember what we would talk about, but I remember the trees and the heavy smell of the air.  It was quiet and we were in no hurry to be anywhere.  Our walks are one of my favourite childhood memories.  

As the kids get older I think a lot about what they will remember of their childhoods.  About what I want them to remember.  

This past visit, like most others, I made sure that we went for a little walks out back to the pond.  

 

 

I hope that they remember what it's like to be in the quiet with tall trees all around.