It's Easier to Leave Than to be Left Behind

I knew that Sprout would miss The Bean when he started kindergarten. I didn't really realize how much she would miss him.

I've tried to have some fun activities planned with her. I've taken her to SkyZone (an indoor trampoline park), the Brickworks (an awesome nature preserve), the library and some really great parks around the city. Still, nearly everyday I get some variation of "Where's [The Bean]?", "I miss [The Bean]" and one time when we were driving home I heard the saddest little voice from the backseat of the car saying, "I'm ready to pick up [The Bean] from school now." Poor bug.

She's told me she doesn't have any friends, and when I list her friends she often asks me to call them so they can meet up with us. Sometimes it works out, but I do think she would rather have her brother around.

She actually cried when we dropped him off on the first day of school, sad that she wasn't going with him. I'm not sure why she had it in her head that she'd be going to kindergarten too, but she did. While she now understands that she won't be going to kindergarten until next fall, she often says, "But I can go to daycare." I think it's fair to say she doesn't like that she's been left behind.

At home she plays school. She asks me to write her notes for her lunchbox like I've been doing for her brother. I have to be the teacher and read her stories or direct her to different activities.

We're starting some programs in the next few weeks and I'm hoping that the routine and structure helps her out a bit. I'm also hoping that we make a few new friends for her. I think she'd like that.

It's been a bit bumpy, but The Bean seems to be adjusting well, overall. Day 2 was tougher than day one, and many mornings he will say that he doesn't want to go to school. However, he has made at least three new friends that he talks about often. The one friend even gave him a huge hug when I dropped him off one day last week. I liked seeing that. He won't give us a full run down of his days, but he is starting to sing some new songs and will give us little snippets of what's been going on over the course of the evening. He's usually pretty tired in the evenings and often a bit grumpy, I suspect because most days he hasn't been eating much of what I've packed. He can be impatient and snippy with Sprout, which makes me sad, because I know how much she misses him. Things seem to be getting better though. Hopefully by October we'll all have settled into a new routine and not be finding things quite so difficult.

SBL #1, 3, 8 and 9

Okay, time for another Summer Bucket List Update!  

I've been putting off crossing a few of these items off, because I haven't taken as many photos as I would have liked too.  Even though it's not even August, I feel like the summer is flying by and I should be crossing off more items though!  So, with not quite as many photos as I would have liked...

We've been doing a pretty good job of getting around to different parks this summer. I like variety, so I don't mind driving out of our area to check out someplace new. There are SO many parks in the city. Some are beautiful with trees and gardens and great play equipment and others... meh. I discovered that a small local pool that I went to as a teen has been totally revamped into a much nicer pool and completely amazing splash pad. I also discovered that another fairly nearby park was redone at some point over the past year and has amazing new equipment and even some "natural playground" elements. We also found a couple of playgrounds that have skate parks (The Bean's new obsession). Of course, we've continued to make visits to the park with the giant mud pit and our favourite nature preserve in the middle of the city and gone back to some favourites that we don't get to quite as often (Hello castle playground!  I'm talking about you!!).

 

 

We have also been to the zoo several times this summer. I usually bring the camera, but two kids at the zoo can be a bit of a handful, so it's rarely taken out of my bag. That is to say, there are very few zoo photos. The kids love the splash pad at the zoo and the "Kids Zoo" area which has a big slide and a sandbox alongside some small animal exhibits. (Sprout loves the bunnies.) Last time we went we paid a visit to the pandas as well as checked out the butterfly house for what may have been the first time. There were a lot of people, which wasn't ideal, but on a less busy day it'd be pretty amazing.  I tell the kids if they're cooperative that they can ride the merry-go-round when we're leaving. This (mostly) keeps them on their best behaviour. We still need to make it to the city farm as we haven't been since the spring, but there is still plenty of time for that... right?!  

It has been SO hot this past week.  It was also the first week that they had locally grown peaches for sale at the grocery store. I bought a basket full and we used some of them to make smoothie popsicles. Sprout got brain freeze on her first bite, but that didn't stop her from polishing off the rest of her pop!   

Regrettably I took NO photos, but we had a very nice get together with some other bloggers last Saturday. The kids alternated eating snacks and climbing all over the massive wooden castle climber while we chatted. It was nice to finally meet some of the moms and moms-to-be in person and spend time with others who we've met before.  Looking forward to more blogger meet ups before the summer is over!   

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After completing this post, I realized I have taken a lot more photos that I thought!  Ha!

--- UPDATED: The Two Moms to Be Summer Bucket List for 2015

1. Check out new parks and go back to old favourites.

2. Swim in Lake Ontario. 

3. Visit animals at the zoo.

4. Spend time in nature. Look for new "nature spots" in the city.

5. Donate books to the book bank.

6. Smell flowers at botanical gardens.

7. Go to the Toronto Islands.

8. Make popsicles.

9. Meet up with local bloggers.

10. Paint rocks that we find at the beach.

11. Go to a fair.  

12. Take a moms-only trip. 

13. Eat things that we have grown and/or picked ourselves.

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Update on #13: We grew beans!  They are delicious!

Four and a Half

Sorry to those of you who got the "draft" update.  Stupid Blogger.  Not only ate my post, but posted a draft.  *Grumble*  Please pretend you didn't see that and enjoy this rewritten version.

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...and now we are the parents of a four and a half year old!

The Bean at four and a half is a kid with big ideas and strong opinions who does not like to be told what to do.  He is active and playful and articulate and loving.  Being his parent is a joy and a challenge.  

There is no doubt that language continues to be an area of strength for The Bean.  He is incredibly articulate and has quite a sophisticated vocabulary.  He loves playing with new words.  He also loves making up words, telling us what they mean, and using them in conversation.  

Recently he has started reading, which is just amazing. He's got a good number of sight words (Dolch) and can figure out most CVC words which means that beginning readers are the perfect level for him right now.  Surprisingly, he also seems to be reading some longer/more obscure words. I'm not sure if he's actually reading or just figuring out what things say given the context.  The word "office" comes to mind (a Microsoft Office ad on the computer).  I can't think of others, but it happens fairly frequently.  

Of course, he continues to love books.  He'll happily sit and listen to someone read for as long as they're willing to read to him.  He's also quite content to sit and browse through books on his own.  Journey and Quest have are wordless picture books that have become fast favourites.  He also loves the eeBoo storytelling cards that we picked up for him and Sprout.  Jen is really good at "playing" these with him.

He is very social. He will strike up a conversation with just about anyone. He always has something he wants to share or discuss. He can be a little shy around people he doesn't know, but it doesn't usually take him long to warm up. He's started to take a real interest in his friends and often asks about them and wants us to make plans to get together, whereas before we initiated most of the meet-ups. He seems to gravitate towards older children and girls. It's particularly infatuated with a former student of mine who we've become family friends with. If you ask him who he loves, he always names her first. I should mention that she's nearly three times his age, lives in Chicago and he last saw her in April. *Sigh* I have a feeling this will be the first in a long line of crushes.  

In addition to liking girls, he has been saying fairly consistently for the past six months or so that he wants to be a girl. We're not really sure what to make of it. When we ask him why, he says that "girls are cool" and that he doesn't like being the only one who is different in our family.  We assure him that plenty of boys are cool too, and that we are all different from each other and what makes him different makes him special to us, but that we love him no matter what. He's worn "girl clothes" out a few times and has been pretty instant about growing his hair long like Rapunzel's.  (He wants to be able to stand on the balcony and let it down so our guests can climb up it.) We're trying to be respectful of his wishes and provide guidance. 

He loves pretend play and dressing up. His knight costume is a favourite, especially the sword. Captain America also gets a lot of wear. The biggest pretend play games are "babies" and "school" ...and sometimes "babies go to school." This type of imaginative play definitely wins out over any toys. There really aren't many toys he's very interested in.  Magnatiles got a good bit of attention for a while, but he even seems to be taking a break from those recently. If couch cushions count as toys, those might be his favourite.   

He's incredibly active. His climbing is just crazy. The way he manipulates his body is amazing to watch and he really seems fearless with regards to heights. He also loves to spin, jump, slide, run, splash and ride his bike and scooter. He's becoming much more confident in the water and will submerge his head (briefly) again. He can handle his two-wheeler (with training wheels) quite well. We've been spending lots of time at parks, splash pads and pools. He's been asking to go back to gymnastics, so I'm hoping to get him into a program again this fall.  

He loves music. Recently I've been blown away by his ability to remember both tunes and lyrics to new songs. He's been singing a lot and requests particular CDs to sing along and dance to. His current favourite is his "Welcome to Kindergarten" CD.  

He is SO pumped to be going to school in the fall.  I think he's going to love it. He's completely ready socially and I think the academics will be great for him too.  He's very curious about a number of things -language and geography standing out among them. His fine motor skills are low, pencil grip and penmanship in particular. He can write his name and draw stick people and other basic things, but doesn't seem to have much of an interest in art (though we've noticed he likes to paint objects rather than paper) and has to be encouraged to do any type of writing.  He does enjoy mazes and some kindergarten activity books.  

We're going to have to work on establishing a morning routine. While he loves being out, getting him out the door can be a challenge. He doesn't like having to get dressed or brush his teeth. He also just likes to lounge around and play. He'll get ready quickly when motivated by a fun activity or people he wants to see, but I imagine once the novelty of going to school wears off that we're going to have a bit of a challenge.  

I also anticipate that he's going to miss Sprout. They've become quite close. They get along well about 90% of the time.  The other 10% Sprout doesn't do what The Bean is telling her to and he gets upset. It is the sweetest thing to watch him "look out" for her, though we've noticed that he seems to feel responsible for her and seems to have some anxiety about that in certain situations, so we've been trying to reassure him that Mama and Mommy (or another adult we trust when we're not around) will take care of Sprout and that he doesn't have to worry.  

We've been trying to work on difficult behaviour.  Being bossy. Getting upset when things don't go his way. Being defiant. Blaming others. He's halfway to giving up naps, and he's definitely more difficult the afternoons when he hasn't slept. We also notice a difference when his stomach is bothering him. Difficult behaviours are best managed with lots of one-on-one attention and very calm and patient responses. It's hard sometimes though. Except for the rare occasion we've cut out all TV, movies, tablet and phone. It was becoming a battle every time it was time to turn the device off and just not worthwhile.   

He's still having tummy troubles.  Going completely off dairy has certainly helped and he is doing much better when we're giving him his daily fibre supplement (which we've been bad about since summer began)  I still feel like there's something more going on.  I think we may have him go through full allergy testing. At this point I just want to know what's going on and solve the problems once and for all.  

Despite the  digestive issues, he has been growing.  That said, he is still a peanut.  He's about 40.5in and 33 or 34lbs. He's moving into some 4T clothes, but mostly for length. He can still wear 18m shorts! Made-to-fit pants are a lifesaver. If given a choice, he would wear PJs all day, everyday.  "Zips" (fleece one piece jammies) are his favourite. Even in the 100 degree humidity we've been having. Aside from PJs he goes for cozy sweat pants and superhero t-shirts.   

He's picky about food but will try new things. He eats a lot of cereal and bread.  Nuts are also a favourite. He's so-so with fruits and veggies, meaning that he sticks to the ones he likes. We always swore we wouldn't make a separate meal for the kids, but: Famous Last Words. Otherwise we'd be eating a lot of chicken fingers and macaroni and cheese.

The past (four years and) six months have definitely been busy. There's been a lot of change in our lives and a lot to navigate with those changes. The Bean is a more sensitive kid than I sometimes realize and he definitely wears his heart on his sleeve. As always he's teaching me how to be a better Mama. How to listen and watch and have patience and be gentle but also how to live in the moment and not take things too seriously and smile more and love openly. This kid. My heart. 

Comparing Kids

Sprout is 18 days away from her second birthday.  This is exactly how old The Bean was on the day she was born.  This "milestone" has been on my mind for quite a while now.  What would it be like if we were bring another baby home now?  (For the record: There will be no more babies.) How have the past two years gone by so quickly?  And how is our baby girl possibly the same age as her big brother was when she was born.  She is our baby.  He was so big.

The Bean (with Grandma and Grandpa) meeting Sprout for the first time.

Looking back, he really wasn't so big.  I suppose when comparing him to a newborn he was, but he really was just a little guy still.  Maybe because we have him now to compare her to, but Sprout just seems younger than he was at this same age.  Looking back he was doing a lot of the same things that she does now.  Hitting similar milestones.  It just felt so different.

I'm an identical twin.  I've always been sensitive to sibling comparisons.  Still, I find it nearly impossible not to compare our two.  I mean right from the get go we compared them in terms of their size.  (The Bean's 5lbs 10oz to Sprout's 9lbs.)  We compared their sleep.  We compared their eating patterns.  How do you not?  The Bean is our frame of reference.

That's not to say we compare one as "better" and one as "worse"  (though the Bean was a better sleeper ;) ) but we do compare.

I think that for all their differences we're fortunate that our kids are both loving and kind and affectionate and interactive and smart and active and funny and silly.  Similar, yet both so full of their very own unique personalities.  It is such a privilege to be witness to who they are and how they've grown.

{this moment} dish washers

A Friday ritual. A single photo  - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama.

{this moment} Helper

A Friday ritual. A single photo  - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

Okay, just a few words...  I was cleaning up breakfast dishes and heard The Bean saying, "This is how you do it, my sweetie.  Put your foot in here."  I turned around and saw this.  Sprout often refuses to let me dress her, or even help her get dressed.  Especially, for some reason, with pants/shorts.  I guess her big brother is allowed to help though.  I'm glad.  He's been so difficult lately.  This is a good reminder of what a sweetheart he can be.   

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama.

{this moment} sibling storytime

A Friday ritual. A single photo  - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama.

{this moment} wagon ride

A Friday ritual. A single photo  - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama.

{this moment} storytime

A Friday ritual. A single photo  - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama.

{this moment} sharing

A Friday ritual. A single photo  - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama.

{this moment} slide

A Friday ritual. A single photo  - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama.

{this moment} brotherly love

A Friday ritual. A single photo  - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama.