FIVE. Can you believe it?
This kid. He has been trying to act very grown up lately, "practicing for when I am five", he says. I think he thinks it will make us happy and proud --he is very much a people pleaser-- and it does, but it also makes me want to squeeze him and kiss him all over and toss him up into the air and tickle him and read him a million books while he still enjoys it all.
So, where to begin with our Bean? He really is a complex little person. The past few months have been kind of hard. There were some mixed emotions as he was about start school, and sadly he doesn't seem to be enjoying it as much as we had hoped he would. After the initial adjustment, he seemed happy. In October he was upset for a while because he wanted to be seen as a girl and he felt the other students weren't accepting of that. His teachers were very open and responsive though, and I felt like we had resolved things (meaning, he knew he could be whoever he wanted and the other students were seemingly understanding of that). Then in late November he got a cold, I kept him home for a half day, and after that he did not want to go back. As in crying at drop off many mornings a week, sulking, telling us he was sad/lonely/had a bad day at school etc. I talked to his teachers about it in passing before the break, but they assured me he seemed happy and engaged at school. It's been a bit of a mixed bag since school started up again last week, so I think we're going to ask for a meeting. As his pediatrician said at his well-check this week, he should be happy at school.
So, mood wise, I'd have to say he's been a bit glum, but not all the time. He still has many moments where he is happy and playful and full of giggles and jokes and jumping around. It's very hard as his parent to navigate this. While it's fine to feel sad, I would like to get to the root of it and make it more of an emotion that he only feels on occasion than something he's feeling on a regular basis.
Academically he seems to be doing very well. He comes home reciting many songs and rhymes he is learning at school. He LOOOOOVES visual art and his art teacher (though he is awfully hard on himself when his pictures don't turn out the way he would like). Phys. Ed. of course, is much enjoyed. He's counting to 100, doing some basic arithmetic. And his reading has taken off. I mean, shockingly so. I know he's among the eldest of the JKs, but even still, his ability is pretty remarkable. He can pretty much read any story book from our shelves. He stuggles with unfamiliar words and will still guess at things rather than really sound them out, but for a just-turned-five year old I'm thoroughly impressed. He is also showing an interest in writing and can often be found carrying around a notebook and pencil. He regularly proclaims his love of his teachers and several of his classmates, but does not see, to have a "best buddy" in the class.
For a while now he has been interested in distinguishing between "good" and "bad" (both people and behaviours). I get fairly regular reports over who in his class has misbehaved that day --fortunately he thrives on positive attention and tells me he is "never bad" at school. Before Christmas he became more concerned than we would have liked about whether his behaviour was "good" and what Santa would think. A bit heartbreaking when he would do something like spill a drink and ask right away whether Santa would be upset with him.
As I mentioned already, he is really a people pleaser which makes him pretty cooperative overall. He's been doing a lot that shows his growing independence --getting ready in the mornings, bathing himself and washing his own hair, wanting to help prepare snacks, tidying up after himself and his sister. He glows when given praise. It's a good thing, but we're also aware that it's something that could be taken advantage of. So far there haven't been any issues, but when he talks about friends telling him to do things, we're always a bit more alert than we might be if he weren't so eager to do what others ask/tell him to do.
Somewhat related, he is also very aware of other's expectations and preferences. He often refers to himself and Jen as the boys in the family and will occasionally call her dad. She never makes a big deal out of it, but one day asked why he never calls me dad. He told her it was because he didn't think I would like it if he did.
He loves girls. He especially loves older girls. If they're 10 or 11 and have long blonde hair, I would almost guarantee that he will be talking about them for days.
He's starting to ask more involved questions about why things are the way they are and how things work. He got some really interesting science kits and books along with a set of Magic School Bus DVDs for gifts recently, and I'm sure they'll spark more questions and investigations.
Mostly he loves being active. Skatergirl and Scootergirl continue to be two of his alter egos. He is always running, leaping, flipping... He zooms around on his bicycle, practices on his skateboard (doing all the coolest tricks in his mind, I am sure), and just got a very awesome scooter from his Grandma and Grandpa and a (kid's/intro) snowboard from my cousin and her son for his birthday. He took gymnastics lessons this fall which he will be continuing through the winter. While he is developing his skills, I have to say that his body awareness and control is pretty remarkable. He listens carefully to his coach's instructions and really does his best to do things the way they describe.
He still loves music. Living room dance parties have continued. Back in May I got to take him to his frist Whitehorse concert which he was just thrilled about. The lucky, lucky boy got a shout out from Luke Doucet during the encore and his requested song played, even though it was a song they haven't played live in nearly a decade. His new favourite band is Van Morrison. His favourite song: Gloria.
He still loves being read to and will choose tried-and-true favourites from the shelves before bed each night. He has recently shown an interest in the Magic Tree House series of books. We've read a couple and he got a few more for Christmas and Birthday gifts, so I imagine we'll be starting those soon. He and Sprout will pretend to be the characters from the story and go on adventures in our apartment.
He's really started experimenting with different phrases. "Give me a break" "Get over it" "You're killing me" and "I'm dead" are a few that come to mind. He also uses the phrase "You're sweating my paws!" which we're not really sure where he picked up but seems to mean he can't believe what you're saying.
Not much has changed for him in terms of his gastro health. We have had him off of dairy forever now, and it does seem to help, as does having him on a regular dose of fibre, but still there are issues. He does not have Celiac disease and we are not moving forward with a test for Crohns. We suspect he has IBS, as it runs in the family. It's a hard thing to diagnose, as it is really a diagnosis of exclusion. We go back for another specialist appointment in the spring.
His food preferences are about the same, but we're starting to insist that he take a few bites of the things Jen and I are having for dinner. He has a good appetite. He usually has two breakfasts -cereal, toast, cream of wheat, etc. I pack him a hardy lunch and it usually comes back about 3/4 eaten, though he's getting pickier about what he will eat at school. He eats his dinner (and a small dessert) nightly will follow it up with some cheese crackers and often a fruit. We wonder where he puts it all and fear for the teenage years!
He is currently in a growth spurt. He gets thicker looking in the trunk and then shoots up. He had his well check last week, but I forgot to ask for his stats. I know his somewhere in the 10th-25th percentile for both height and weight. A bit of a peanut. I think that's just him. He's consistently in size 4 tops now and moving into more size 4 pants because the 3s are just getting too short. He has tiny hands and feet. About the same size as Sprouts, who is nearly two years younger. His shoe size is a 7.5/8. Sometime mid-November he decided he wanted a haircut, so after months of growing it out he got a super-cute undercut, which we rarely style. Ha!
And while the past few months have had their difficult moments, when he is happy he just shines. The way his eyes light up and his smile radiates is contageous. While I am always happy to be his Mama, I can think of little that makes me feel happier than seeing him in these moments. I love him with my whole self. My baby.
Of course, music was important before we met, I have fond memories of dancing around the sunroom of my childhood home with my dad to Paul Simon's "You Can Call Me Al." Toronto had an all-Beatles radio station in the 80s that was on at our neighbour's house every time we went over. I still can sing along to almost any Beatles song I hear.
When The Bean was days old we played him Death Cab For Cutie while he slept. Now that he's older we've been looking into finding music for him that we also enjoy listening to. I know a ton of kids who love The Wiggles, but I don't know how much "Big Red Car" -or whatever it's called- we could take.
At the beginning of the summer we read a bunch of reviews and ended up ordering a handful of CDs meant specifically for The Bean, but also for us, 'cuz you know, we've got to listen to them too.
Mind of My Own by Frances England has been a favourite. I'll fully admit that I've found myself turning up the radio in the car when playing it, even when The Bean is home with Jen. The lyrics are lively and positive and are on topics which are revelant to children. Her voice is lovely and the musical accompaniment is fantastic.
Elizabeth Mitchell's, You Are My Sunshine is another album we picked up at the beginning of the summer. It's got a calm folk vibe and makes for nice quiet music. I believe some of the songs are original, while others are traditional folk songs.
The Nields' Rock All Day, Rock All Night is a CD set Jen really wanted to get. She's been a fan of The Nields since before I met her. They used to play in Pittsburgh often and she would go see them play live. A few years ago we went to The Clearwater Folk Festival and they were playing on the family stage. We went over and watched their set. It was fun! In the years between then and now we've often joked to each other about "The Enemy Called Pants" (one of the songs they had played)... now that we have an eight month old, we know what they were singing about! "Organic Farm" is our most recent favourite off this album. The Nields have a distinctive sound, so I'd suggest listening to a song or two before committing to this album, just in case they aren't your thing.
Jack Johnson's Sing-a-longs and Lullabies for the film Curious George is an album I've had for a while. A parent of a student gave me a copy a few years ago because we do a unit on recycling and it has a song on it called "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle". We bought another copy for us. We're Jack Johnson fans, so this album has been great to have.
Recently we've been thinking about adding a few additional selections to our collection. Maybe another Frances England CD. I've also heard good things about They Might Be Giants. Then there are the traditional folksters like Pete Seeger and Woody Guthrie (although I don't know that I could handle a song like "Swimmy Swim Swim" any better than I could handle "Big Red Car".) Any suggestions from other parents out there? What do your kids like listening to? How about recommendations for kid-friendly adult music? Feist's 1,2,3,4? Tegan and Sara's Alligator?