We had been approved!
Despite the earlier-than-anticipated approval, we decided to wait until the summer before having Jen move up. That had been the original plan, and frankly we needed the time to prepare. I had to find us a place to live. Jen had to catalogue every single item she owned for the move across the border.
Eventually July rolled around and the U-Haul got packed up. Six and a half years after that first kiss we were finally really together. No more Greyhound trips or 300 mile car rides. No more long-distance phone calls or daily emails. Together. Finally.
Jen found a job and we settled into our new life. Although happy as a couple, we knew we wanted to add to our famly. Two years after Jen moved here we started the TTC process (and I started this blog). After five IUIs Jen got pregnant with our son, The Bean, who was born January 11th, 2011. When he was just over a year old we started TTC again and after two IUIs I conceived our daughter, Sprout, born December 24th, 2012.
Our family is complete, but our story is far from over.
Showing posts with label our story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label our story. Show all posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Friday, February 22, 2013
Our Story, Part 4
The following years were not easy.
I was still a student. I was still living at my dad's. Jen and I were still separated by over 300 miles. (Over a twelve hour trip --one way-- on the Greyhound bus, which pretty much ever spare penny I had went to buying tickets for.)
We did okay. We managed to see each other almost every month. We talked daily. We had extended visits, and went on trips, and, of course, kept going to see shows.
We dreamed about our future together.
In 2005 I finally managed to find a full time job and we were able to start making our dreams a reality. We started planning for our wedding and for Jen's immigration to Canada.
We picked a date for our wedding --July 14th, 2006. We found a venue and started a guest list. Then, six months before we were set to get married a new governement was elected. A conservative government. A conservate government that was including a ban on gay marriage in it's platform. We found out that couples who were already married would be grandfathered, so less than a week after the new Prime Minister took office, Jen and I got married in a small civil ceremony at City Hall with our immediate families. The date, January 28th, 2006, just happened to be exactly five years from the date of our first kiss.
Legally married, we continued to make plans for our wedding. A simple ceremony outside, this time with more of our family and friends in attendance. A reception with delicious food, lots of great conversation, and beautiful speeches from our brothers.
We went back to Jen's hometown and had another reception there, with our friends and family who had been unable to make it to Canada to celebrate. We spent the rest of the summer together. We were so happy.
Then September came and I got on the Greyhound bus and headed back home. The school year was starting and I had to return to work. Jen stayed in Pennsylvania. We made plans to see each other again soon.
That fall we spent countless hours writing essays, collecting documents, selecting photos, and soliciting friends and families for letters to put in to our immigration application. By December we were ready to submit it. We were told to expect to wait six months before hearing about the decision. Just six weeks later we got noticed that a decision had been made regarding the status of our application.
I was still a student. I was still living at my dad's. Jen and I were still separated by over 300 miles. (Over a twelve hour trip --one way-- on the Greyhound bus, which pretty much ever spare penny I had went to buying tickets for.)
We did okay. We managed to see each other almost every month. We talked daily. We had extended visits, and went on trips, and, of course, kept going to see shows.
We dreamed about our future together.
In 2005 I finally managed to find a full time job and we were able to start making our dreams a reality. We started planning for our wedding and for Jen's immigration to Canada.
We picked a date for our wedding --July 14th, 2006. We found a venue and started a guest list. Then, six months before we were set to get married a new governement was elected. A conservative government. A conservate government that was including a ban on gay marriage in it's platform. We found out that couples who were already married would be grandfathered, so less than a week after the new Prime Minister took office, Jen and I got married in a small civil ceremony at City Hall with our immediate families. The date, January 28th, 2006, just happened to be exactly five years from the date of our first kiss.
Legally married, we continued to make plans for our wedding. A simple ceremony outside, this time with more of our family and friends in attendance. A reception with delicious food, lots of great conversation, and beautiful speeches from our brothers.
We went back to Jen's hometown and had another reception there, with our friends and family who had been unable to make it to Canada to celebrate. We spent the rest of the summer together. We were so happy.
Then September came and I got on the Greyhound bus and headed back home. The school year was starting and I had to return to work. Jen stayed in Pennsylvania. We made plans to see each other again soon.
That fall we spent countless hours writing essays, collecting documents, selecting photos, and soliciting friends and families for letters to put in to our immigration application. By December we were ready to submit it. We were told to expect to wait six months before hearing about the decision. Just six weeks later we got noticed that a decision had been made regarding the status of our application.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Our Story, Part 3
I don't think either of us really expected Someone Else to come along. But when that happened it was heart-wrenching for both of us. We couldn't continue as "us" with Someone Else in the picture so we decided to "just be friends." We both started dating. However, neither of us had really lost the feelings we had for each other.
It was somewhere around a year after we had first crossed paths, while Jen and I were in our "just friends" stage, that I came home exhausted from a late class at school and couldn't get into the house. I thought there was something wrong with my keys and kept trying the lock. My focus went from the keys in my hands to the porch around me. There was a suitcase on the porch. And broken glass from a vase of flowers Jen had sent me when I had been feeling down the week before. And photos of us torn into pieces littered all over the ground.
My mom had found some photos of Jen and I sitting on a hotel bed together and decided that it was more than she could take. She had the locks changed. She kicked me out.
In a state of shock I went to a neighbour's house and called my dad. In tears, I asked him if I could stay with him for a while. Thankfully he didn't ask many questions, and just came to get me.
The next few months are a bit of a blur. I fumbled my way through the school and work. I continued to date the guy I'd been seeing. Jen continued to date the girl she'd been seeing. I had already been heartbroken, but now I was shattered. The only reason I was able to hold myself together is because I didn't have any other choice.
Jen and I continued to talk. Through everything that had been happened, our feelings towards each other had remained. Eventually we made the decision to get back together. It still wasn't easy, but it was easier. Ironically I had been "outed" while dating a guy. Of course, there was more "outing" to do after we got back together. However this time I was less anxious. I didn't have as much to lose.
It was somewhere around a year after we had first crossed paths, while Jen and I were in our "just friends" stage, that I came home exhausted from a late class at school and couldn't get into the house. I thought there was something wrong with my keys and kept trying the lock. My focus went from the keys in my hands to the porch around me. There was a suitcase on the porch. And broken glass from a vase of flowers Jen had sent me when I had been feeling down the week before. And photos of us torn into pieces littered all over the ground.
My mom had found some photos of Jen and I sitting on a hotel bed together and decided that it was more than she could take. She had the locks changed. She kicked me out.
In a state of shock I went to a neighbour's house and called my dad. In tears, I asked him if I could stay with him for a while. Thankfully he didn't ask many questions, and just came to get me.
The next few months are a bit of a blur. I fumbled my way through the school and work. I continued to date the guy I'd been seeing. Jen continued to date the girl she'd been seeing. I had already been heartbroken, but now I was shattered. The only reason I was able to hold myself together is because I didn't have any other choice.
Jen and I continued to talk. Through everything that had been happened, our feelings towards each other had remained. Eventually we made the decision to get back together. It still wasn't easy, but it was easier. Ironically I had been "outed" while dating a guy. Of course, there was more "outing" to do after we got back together. However this time I was less anxious. I didn't have as much to lose.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Our Story, Part 2
In an email shortly before her trip up, I remember telling Jen that it was likely that I would chat her ear off in the car. However, on that first night we met I was so nervous that I pretended to sleep on the way home. The following day we drove out to another city, a couple of hours away to catch another show. The third night "our band" wasn't playing, but another musician we were both interested in seeing was. She was playing a seated venue, and at some-point midway through the performance Jen and I went from awkwardly sharing an armrest to holding hands. An innocent enough gesture, but still my heart was racing the entire time. It was another quiet car ride home, this time with our fingers intertwined.
After an hour or two we pulled up outside of my house. We made plans for where and when to meet the following day, and when it was time to say goodbye, I leaned over the centre console of the car and kissed her. Suddenly panicked, I pulled away, stammered a quick goodbye, and dashed to the front door of the house, fumbling with my keys to get inside.
The following day I met Jen at her hotel, as planned. Small talk turned into more kissing. I was certainly enjoying it, but also felt conflicted about things. I knew I liked her, but I didn't know what she thought of me. I was also scared to like her.
The rest of the trip played out as you might imagine. More live music. More kisses. More conversation. More confusion over what all of this meant and might be leading to.
Once she was back home we were able to have some honest conversations over email. I was happy to hear that she did, in fact, like me as much as I liked her. I tried to express some of my reservations. I was met with understanding, only making me fall for her that much more. We decided that we liked each other enough to pursue things.
The next several months we continued to exchange emails, talk on the phone, and have a few more visits where Jen came into town to see me. It was wonderful but it was also stressful. I wasn't out to anyone. My mom was highly suspicious that something was going on and made it quite clear that she didn't approve. I was falling in love, but I still had some big reservations.
And that's pretty much where we were when Someone Else entered the picture.
After an hour or two we pulled up outside of my house. We made plans for where and when to meet the following day, and when it was time to say goodbye, I leaned over the centre console of the car and kissed her. Suddenly panicked, I pulled away, stammered a quick goodbye, and dashed to the front door of the house, fumbling with my keys to get inside.
The following day I met Jen at her hotel, as planned. Small talk turned into more kissing. I was certainly enjoying it, but also felt conflicted about things. I knew I liked her, but I didn't know what she thought of me. I was also scared to like her.
The rest of the trip played out as you might imagine. More live music. More kisses. More conversation. More confusion over what all of this meant and might be leading to.
Once she was back home we were able to have some honest conversations over email. I was happy to hear that she did, in fact, like me as much as I liked her. I tried to express some of my reservations. I was met with understanding, only making me fall for her that much more. We decided that we liked each other enough to pursue things.
The next several months we continued to exchange emails, talk on the phone, and have a few more visits where Jen came into town to see me. It was wonderful but it was also stressful. I wasn't out to anyone. My mom was highly suspicious that something was going on and made it quite clear that she didn't approve. I was falling in love, but I still had some big reservations.
And that's pretty much where we were when Someone Else entered the picture.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Our Story, Part 1
It was 2000. I was twenty years old and had just started my second year at the local university. It was a grey and rainy fall and I was in a bit of a funk. I liked my program, but was missing many of my friends who were going to school out of town. I remember chatting with my mom about wanting to go see a show, but not wanting to go alone. She encouraged me to go anyway. Convinced, I threw my raincoat on and hopped on the subway to the venue. The rain must have kept people away; I waited in a short line and got a great seat inside. The opener, a local band I was somewhat famillar with put on a good performance. Then the headliners, who I'd heard a lot about, but whose music was new to me, went on. By the time their set was over I was kicking myself for not brining any extra money to buy their CD. They'd been awesome.
I spent the next week or so browsing their webpage and some fanpages, and checking out articles about them online. There was one fanpage that stood out from most of the others and I decided to email the webmaster some of the articles I'd found. She responded back thanking me for the links I'd sent her, and from there we started emailing back and forth.
First we just chatted about the band, how we'd found out about them, the shows we'd seen., etc. but soon we started sharing more about our day to day lives. It happened gradually, but within a month or so we were exchaging emails daily. In fact, her emails became the highlight of my days. By Christmas I was beginning to realize just how much I liked this girl.
This was a somewhat terrifying prospect.
I liked a girl.
I hadn't dated much in highschool. There were never really any guys that interested me. I never recognized that walking to the far end of the school to be more likely to pass the cute girl a year ahead of me might be a sign of, well, anything. (Not that I ever mentioned this habit to anyone.) It seemed perfectly reasonable to have pictures of the actresses I liked ripped out magazines and pinned on the bulliten board in my room. And my brother and sister were just as big Ani DiFranco fans as I was. ;)
The band made an announcement that they were going to do a handful of shows around my city. Jen said she was considering coming up for them and I asked if she'd be willing to car pool since I wanted to go but didn't drive. She was. It was snowing the afternoon that I took the Greyhound bus to London, Ontario to meet Jen for the first of the four shows we had plans to see. I got off the bus, walked into the station, and picked her out from the handful of people there right away.
I spent the next week or so browsing their webpage and some fanpages, and checking out articles about them online. There was one fanpage that stood out from most of the others and I decided to email the webmaster some of the articles I'd found. She responded back thanking me for the links I'd sent her, and from there we started emailing back and forth.
First we just chatted about the band, how we'd found out about them, the shows we'd seen., etc. but soon we started sharing more about our day to day lives. It happened gradually, but within a month or so we were exchaging emails daily. In fact, her emails became the highlight of my days. By Christmas I was beginning to realize just how much I liked this girl.
This was a somewhat terrifying prospect.
I liked a girl.
I hadn't dated much in highschool. There were never really any guys that interested me. I never recognized that walking to the far end of the school to be more likely to pass the cute girl a year ahead of me might be a sign of, well, anything. (Not that I ever mentioned this habit to anyone.) It seemed perfectly reasonable to have pictures of the actresses I liked ripped out magazines and pinned on the bulliten board in my room. And my brother and sister were just as big Ani DiFranco fans as I was. ;)
The band made an announcement that they were going to do a handful of shows around my city. Jen said she was considering coming up for them and I asked if she'd be willing to car pool since I wanted to go but didn't drive. She was. It was snowing the afternoon that I took the Greyhound bus to London, Ontario to meet Jen for the first of the four shows we had plans to see. I got off the bus, walked into the station, and picked her out from the handful of people there right away.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Tales from the Deflated Uterus
It's been awhile since I've posted, but I've certainly been keeping an eye on things. Allison is much better at the pick one thing and stick to it way of life and I take more of a shotgun approach and move on often. Certain people and things excepted, of course.
Allison mentioned that she thought I should do some posts on this pregnancy from my side of the stirrups. I'm not sure how many lesbian couples decide to go this route, first one partner then the other, but we've been on this track pretty much from the start. Allison has probably mentioned this previously, but for any newcomers, we decided that I would carry the first child because I was older and hit that magic "you better get hopping on this baby-wagon" age of 35 several years before Allison.
Allison got pregnant a lot faster than I did. It took me five attempts over the course of about 10 months I'd say (it's in our TTC timeline, I'm just too lazy to look it up and do that math right now.) I'm very happy that Allison got knocked up faster than I did.
First of all, going through all that jazz really wears on a girl, and I'm relieved that Allison doesn't have to do it anymore. Secondly, because we had limited supply of our donor left, I'm excited that we were able to conceive another child from one of his deposits so The Bean and The Sprout can be biologically related. Looking back on this whole fertility journey, the one thing I would do differently would be to buy more samples right out of the gate.
I haven't been as enamored with our clinic this time around. Mostly because there seem to be some protocol changes that have been enacted since we were there before, and no one really briefed us on those. When I questioned them at our first insemination attempt the doctor on duty that day gave me an answer that sounded a lot like "I'm too busy to talk to you right now." After having waited in the clinic's waiting room for close to 2-hours at times, that really set me off.
Attempt number two felt better from the get-go than number one did. The timing seemed better. The doctor on duty that day was the same one that got me pregnant. And, he explained the timing and protocols in a way that made me feel a lot better. I do think there was a little B.S. thrown in there, but his overall answer left me feeling satisfied. And, hey, he put a baby in my wife so that's hard to argue with.
The past week has been hard. I feel like I'm having to take care of everyone. Allison hasn't been well, as you know. The Bean is still just a little guy who needs lots of care. And, even the cat has been sick and is now on two prescriptions. I feel like I've been missing a lot of work to run around to appointments, but I am grateful that my employers are very family friendly and haven't given me a hard time.
They say your blog post should have a list, so here's a list of some lessons I've learned so far in this TTC journey.
- Be persistent. Our old midwife collective wasn't able to take us at first, but through phone call after phone call of pestering, they found a way to work us in.
- Be kind to yourself. Even though I'm healthy and my body isn't going through all of the crap that Allison's is, I can still take time out for myself to relax. Even if there are dirty dishes in the sink. And cat puke on the floor.
- You don't know what it's like for someone else. My pregnancy sickness wasn't as bad as Allison's and I've been trying not to impress my experience upon her and say things like "it's not that bad" or "just put on a good face" because sometimes, you just can't model through it.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
What I didn't blog about
So, what I didn't blog about last week is that on Sunday we did my first IUI attempt. After getting the Very Bad News, we spent Friday and Saturday thinking hard about whether to go ahead with the insemination or not, but ultimately decided to try. We agreed that if we decided to put things on hold because of my layoff we could end up waiting a long time for it to be the "right" time again. While the situation could be better, we will manage. In some ways, getting pregnant now (or soon) could be better than putting it off in terms of my work situation.
I've been wavering back and forth between thinking that the insemination worked and thinking that there's no way it could have worked with the stress that I've been under. (On Tuesday my body literally started shaking when some of my co-workers were talking to me about the situation.) Even though we're trying to watch our spending now more than ever, I think I will pick up a pregnancy test when I go out grocery shopping and try to wait until Wednesday (10 days post-insemination) to take it. Please keep your fingers crossed for us that we have a tough and sticky little baby in there.
I've been wavering back and forth between thinking that the insemination worked and thinking that there's no way it could have worked with the stress that I've been under. (On Tuesday my body literally started shaking when some of my co-workers were talking to me about the situation.) Even though we're trying to watch our spending now more than ever, I think I will pick up a pregnancy test when I go out grocery shopping and try to wait until Wednesday (10 days post-insemination) to take it. Please keep your fingers crossed for us that we have a tough and sticky little baby in there.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Sprout?
Tomorrow we're going to the fertility clinic for our first consultation regarding Baby #2 (Sprout?). It'll still be a while before we start inseminations or anything like that. I imagine we'll do cycle monitoring in December and then maybe inseminations starting in January or February. We'll keep you updated. :)
Saturday, August 27, 2011
End of the Summer
So, I meant to write this post just shortly after 8am, when I got up and was enjoying my morning cup of tea.
It's now after 10pm and I'm finally sitting down to write.
This is my last weekend of "summer break". I'm trying not to think about it too much. It's not that I dislike my job; it's that this has been such a wonderful summer and I am sad that after tomorrow I won't be able to spend my days with the two people that I love the most.
This summer was special. It is probably the only summer that Jen, The Bean and I will spend together. Next summer, even if The Bean stays home with me, Jen will probably be working. When Baby #2 comes along, I'll probably be the one taking maternity leave. It's true that we will have weeks that we're all off together, and although I know they will be special, I'm sad that this special time is coming to an end.
I do love the fall though. The crispness of the air. Trees changing colour. Hats that start coming out of storage. Apples to be picked. Warm soup and hot tea. I'm sure I will enjoy even more this year, now that we have The Bean to share it with.
He, by the way, has been keeping us very busy. He has spent the last two weeks or so mastering crawling. He's pretty much a pro now. Sometimes he gets over-excited and launches himself forward onto his face. (He has the bruises on his forehead to prove it.) Of course, being able to crawl is not enough and he is now eager to pull himself up on everything. Mommy, the ottoman and, oh yes, the side of his crib. I panicked yesterday when Jen went in to get him from his nap and found him up on his knees gripping the edge of his crib, smiling his biggest toothless smile at this accomplishment.
The crib mattress has been lowered.
I can sleep soundly now knowing that our child will not tumble headfirst onto the bare wooden floor in the middle of the night. And that's what I plan to do. And tomorrow I will enjoy our last day of summer vacation together. All three of us.
This is my last weekend of "summer break". I'm trying not to think about it too much. It's not that I dislike my job; it's that this has been such a wonderful summer and I am sad that after tomorrow I won't be able to spend my days with the two people that I love the most.
This summer was special. It is probably the only summer that Jen, The Bean and I will spend together. Next summer, even if The Bean stays home with me, Jen will probably be working. When Baby #2 comes along, I'll probably be the one taking maternity leave. It's true that we will have weeks that we're all off together, and although I know they will be special, I'm sad that this special time is coming to an end.
I do love the fall though. The crispness of the air. Trees changing colour. Hats that start coming out of storage. Apples to be picked. Warm soup and hot tea. I'm sure I will enjoy even more this year, now that we have The Bean to share it with.
He, by the way, has been keeping us very busy. He has spent the last two weeks or so mastering crawling. He's pretty much a pro now. Sometimes he gets over-excited and launches himself forward onto his face. (He has the bruises on his forehead to prove it.) Of course, being able to crawl is not enough and he is now eager to pull himself up on everything. Mommy, the ottoman and, oh yes, the side of his crib. I panicked yesterday when Jen went in to get him from his nap and found him up on his knees gripping the edge of his crib, smiling his biggest toothless smile at this accomplishment.
The crib mattress has been lowered.
I can sleep soundly now knowing that our child will not tumble headfirst onto the bare wooden floor in the middle of the night. And that's what I plan to do. And tomorrow I will enjoy our last day of summer vacation together. All three of us.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
One Year Ago
It was one year ago that Jen was inseminated resulting in her pregnancy with The Bean! What a year it has been!!
Monday, January 24, 2011
The Birth Story (Again)
Well, it's been quite a two weeks for Allison and me. Two weeks ago today, we were packing the car for our trip down to St. Michael's Hospital so I could be induced. It was 38 weeks + 3 days and the doctors and midwives wanted to induce because The Bean possibly had IUGR. They thought it was better to induce labor early in case the placenta was crapping out (not official medical terminology). If the placenta wasn't doing it's job they worried that The Bean wouldn't hold up well during labor, so it was better to get him out early when they knew he would be strong.
It turns out Monday the 10th was a crazy day for the labor and delivery staff at St. Mike's. A few unplanned c-sections, someone having twins, and a full house left us sitting first in the waiting room until close to noon and then in triage until close to 3:00 pm. Fortunately, the triage nurse gave us a wink and a smile at one point and suggested we take a walk down to the cafeteria for lunch. My mom and dad had arrived the night before and were down there enjoying lunch themselves, so we got to see them for a few minutes before heading back up to triage.
While we were waiting in triage, Allison tried some contraction inducing pressure points and based on the monitor results, they worked. After a couple of medical staff took health history and asked questions about the pregnancy the resident came in and examined me. The first step was to check and see if my cervix was ripened - what they call it when it thins out and gets ready for baby to push through. Not surprisingly, my cervix wasn't ready for picking yet so they inserted a medicine called cervidil.
I'd like to take just a moment to explain how medical staff determine how ripe your cervix is. I'm no stranger to a speculum, and undergoing fertility treatments I got very accustomed to medical professionals inserting random medical instruments into my va-jay-jay, and was expecting something similar to happen with the cervical check. Oh, boy was I wrong. Evidently, the way they check your cervix is by touch - meaning they shove their hand waaaaaaaay up inside you and do a poke test with their fingers. My biggest takeaway from that experience (one that I had multiple times during the birth process) is to look for someone with really long fingers to administer this part of your care - unfortunately that feature wasn't common among most of the hospital staff I encountered.
So, back to the cervidil. It comes on what looks like a shoelace with a small tag attached to one end. My doctor folded it all up and got it waaay up in there and said that they'd check in 12 hours to see how much I was dilated.
At this point, they sent us to a room in the ante-natal unit for the night. They also prescribed non-stress tests (they strap you up with two monitors 1 for the baby's heartbeat and one for your contractions) every four hours and would check on us at 3:00 am to see how dilated I was. Fortunately, Allison scored a recliner and was able to sleep beside me in the room. About 1:00 I started feeling some small but regular contractions and called the nurse in. She did a non-stress test and everything was cool so we were still to hold tight for the resident to check my cervix at 3:00.
At 3:00 a very tired looking resident shoved her hand all up in me and said I was only dilated 1 cm and that we had to wait and check again at 3:00 the next day - Tuesday.
When we woke up later Tuesday morning we both got showered and cleaned up. I was still having regular contractions and Allison and I decided to do some laps around the floor. Our nurse, Virginia, noticed us doing the laps and asked about the contractions. She decided it was time to get us back down to labor and delivery. She went down and spoke to them and a couple of hours later we made the trip down to a labor suite. And, let me tell you, the labor suites are to hospital rooms what a penthouse is to a hotel. They were large, with a couple of chairs, a recliner, a private bathroom, a flat-screen TV (you do have to pay extra for cable), and one on one care from a nurse.
My time-line of the next little bit is fuzzy, but it involved the staff doctor doing a check of my cervix, the cervidil being taken out, and around 3:00 a resident breaking my water. That was weird - there was a lot more of it than I expected and I wish someone had given me the heads up to remove my socks first. The water was nice and clear though - no signs of the baby in distress.
They had me walk the floor some more and we only made one lap around because those contractions that weren't so bad before were a real b**ch now. Allison said my knuckles were turning white when I was holding onto the wall railing during the contractions. I also started sweating and feeling kind of weak - like I wanted to lean on something for fear I might topple over.
After these real contractions started, I decided to get an epidural (up until then I was trying to keep my options open to try without meds or with depending on the situation) because we were expecting it to still be some time until I was ready to push and I didn't think I would have the stamina to deal with the contractions for that long of a time period and still have enough left in me to push.
Fortunately, the anesthesiologist was outside our door at this point and came right in to do the procedure. I was still having those nasty contractions and they were good about working during them but waiting to do any ouchy stuff until in-between.
Somewhere around this time, they also put in an IV for saline-type fluids + the pitocin drip that would ramp up the contractions. After this I was strapped to the monitors and in bed for keeps. Oh, but they gave me this thing I called the Happy Button which topped up the epidural if I was feeling pain. I tried not to let the Happy Button stray too far from my grasp.
Unfortunately, at one point the nurse didn't like how the baby's heart rate would dip after a contraction and came in to check on me. We switched my position around and somewhere in there his heart rate dropped for a good few minutes. The medical staff jumped right on it and within minutes there were two doctors and at least three nurses in the room checking on me. They turned back the pitocin and we all had a conversation about the possibility of a c-section if The Bean's heart rate was continuing to drop with the contractions.
At this point I was pretty freaked out, but was reassured when the doctor's watched the monitors after they stopped the oxytocin and said that he was doing okay. The staff doctor recommended that we take a break from the drugs to let him recover and then start them up again but more slowly this time. I have to say, for all of the talk about OB's being interventionist, she was excellent at trying to make sure I could still have a vaginal delivery. When his heart rate dropped, if they had said the only safe way to deliver was by c-section I wouldn't have hesitated to roll on down to the OR. I'm appreciative of Dr. Meffe's efforts to keep the birth vaginal.
So, they cranked back the pitocin and waited for a bit. At one point the nurse came in and said it was probably time to start it back up again, but both doctor's on the floor were in deliveries at the time, so she was going to wait until they were out and start it up then. And that's what they did.
Allison and I had just settled in for the long haul - expecting to deliver sometime in the late night or early morning when a new nurse came in to check on me. My regular nurse was on her break and this woman was her break relief. A former mid-wife, this nurse (who I later just called coach) checked my dilation and to our great surprise said I was 10 cm. She flicked on the lights and started doing stuff to the bed saying it was time to push. Whoa - It was only around 10 pm.
Allison asked the medical intern to find our midwife who was at the hospital with another client. Luckily, she had just finished delivering the baby for the client and in just a few minutes she was in the room with her student helping to do labor support.
Again, there were a ton of people in the room during most of the pushing. At one somewhat comical moment, it was only Allison, me, the medical intern, and the midwifery student. They coached me through the pushing. Around the 45 minute mark (I think!) Allison looked down and said she could see see his head and it was covered with blonde hair! I kept pushing and about 1 hour into it, the staff doctor said that she was getting concerned about letting the pushing go on for much longer because of the IUGR possibility. She also said that part of the reason it was taking this long was because I had very strong muscles that really weren't letting him through. Sooo, they busted out the vacuum and also gave me an episiotomy because of the above mentioned Ms. Olympia-worthy pelvic muscles.
Something I appreciated about the resident using the vacuum (which Allison says looks more like a suction cup than a vacuum) is that she told me that I still had to do the work of pushing, she was just using the vacuum to guide him out. Saying that let me know that I couldn't slack off on my job, and also helped me realize the vacuum wasn't as scary as some people make it out to be. Afterwords The Bean only had minor bruising on his noggin.
So, on the next set of contractions I pushed and Dr. Gen (AKA blonde doctor) guided. At one point, someone told me to look down and I could see The Bean from the torso up as someone was pulling him out of me. It was awesome.
They didn't put him on me right away because of the IUGR concerns. They wanted someone from pediatrics to examine him immediately. So, over to the warming station he went. Allison went over with him while I stayed to deliver the placenta and get stitched up.
Over at the table, the pediatrics doctor and some of the midwives cleaned him up and did his apgar score - a resounding 9! (The highest you can get is 10, but no one ever gets it.) They administered the vitamin K shot and put erythromycin in his eyes to prevent infection.
The pediatrician came over after a few minutes and told me that he was a healthy little boy. He clocked in at 5 lbs, 10 oz and 19 inches long.
At this point, care was transferred back over to the midwife team. They brought him over and gave him to me to hold then one of the midwives helped him latch onto my breast for the first time. Allison went down the hall to the waiting room and got my parents. They had stayed later then intended when my mom came to say goodbye and noticed that all of the lights in the room were on and it was filled with medical staff.
Mom and dad didn't get to hold him that night, but they were both super happy to see him. We hadn't told anyone his name before this point, so we announced it to them. His middle name is my dad's first name and he appeared to be touched.
Kristen, our midwife, discussed discharging me and asked if we preferred to stay overnight or go home. I wanted to go home so I could try to get a better night's sleep, but my dad piped up and informed her that we live in a 3rd floor walk up. Given our apartment location, my stitches, that the weather was pretty bad, and that we'd been through a lot the past couple of days, Kristen thought it was better that we stay the night.
So, off to the ante-natal rooms again we went. I got to be chauffeured down in a wheel-chair, though to tell the truth I got one kickin' hemorrhoid from pushing and may have preferred to shuffle down on my own.
This time Allison didn't have a recliner, so we both slept in my hospital bed (we fit much better that night than we would have had my belly still had a baby in it) with The Bean. It was amazing to doze and wake up with him snuggled between the two of us.
Overall, the experience felt very long but the hospital staff was unbelievable and I'm ecstatic to be home with my wonderful wife and our beautiful and healthy new son.
It turns out Monday the 10th was a crazy day for the labor and delivery staff at St. Mike's. A few unplanned c-sections, someone having twins, and a full house left us sitting first in the waiting room until close to noon and then in triage until close to 3:00 pm. Fortunately, the triage nurse gave us a wink and a smile at one point and suggested we take a walk down to the cafeteria for lunch. My mom and dad had arrived the night before and were down there enjoying lunch themselves, so we got to see them for a few minutes before heading back up to triage.
While we were waiting in triage, Allison tried some contraction inducing pressure points and based on the monitor results, they worked. After a couple of medical staff took health history and asked questions about the pregnancy the resident came in and examined me. The first step was to check and see if my cervix was ripened - what they call it when it thins out and gets ready for baby to push through. Not surprisingly, my cervix wasn't ready for picking yet so they inserted a medicine called cervidil.
I'd like to take just a moment to explain how medical staff determine how ripe your cervix is. I'm no stranger to a speculum, and undergoing fertility treatments I got very accustomed to medical professionals inserting random medical instruments into my va-jay-jay, and was expecting something similar to happen with the cervical check. Oh, boy was I wrong. Evidently, the way they check your cervix is by touch - meaning they shove their hand waaaaaaaay up inside you and do a poke test with their fingers. My biggest takeaway from that experience (one that I had multiple times during the birth process) is to look for someone with really long fingers to administer this part of your care - unfortunately that feature wasn't common among most of the hospital staff I encountered.
So, back to the cervidil. It comes on what looks like a shoelace with a small tag attached to one end. My doctor folded it all up and got it waaay up in there and said that they'd check in 12 hours to see how much I was dilated.
At this point, they sent us to a room in the ante-natal unit for the night. They also prescribed non-stress tests (they strap you up with two monitors 1 for the baby's heartbeat and one for your contractions) every four hours and would check on us at 3:00 am to see how dilated I was. Fortunately, Allison scored a recliner and was able to sleep beside me in the room. About 1:00 I started feeling some small but regular contractions and called the nurse in. She did a non-stress test and everything was cool so we were still to hold tight for the resident to check my cervix at 3:00.
At 3:00 a very tired looking resident shoved her hand all up in me and said I was only dilated 1 cm and that we had to wait and check again at 3:00 the next day - Tuesday.
When we woke up later Tuesday morning we both got showered and cleaned up. I was still having regular contractions and Allison and I decided to do some laps around the floor. Our nurse, Virginia, noticed us doing the laps and asked about the contractions. She decided it was time to get us back down to labor and delivery. She went down and spoke to them and a couple of hours later we made the trip down to a labor suite. And, let me tell you, the labor suites are to hospital rooms what a penthouse is to a hotel. They were large, with a couple of chairs, a recliner, a private bathroom, a flat-screen TV (you do have to pay extra for cable), and one on one care from a nurse.
My time-line of the next little bit is fuzzy, but it involved the staff doctor doing a check of my cervix, the cervidil being taken out, and around 3:00 a resident breaking my water. That was weird - there was a lot more of it than I expected and I wish someone had given me the heads up to remove my socks first. The water was nice and clear though - no signs of the baby in distress.
They had me walk the floor some more and we only made one lap around because those contractions that weren't so bad before were a real b**ch now. Allison said my knuckles were turning white when I was holding onto the wall railing during the contractions. I also started sweating and feeling kind of weak - like I wanted to lean on something for fear I might topple over.
After these real contractions started, I decided to get an epidural (up until then I was trying to keep my options open to try without meds or with depending on the situation) because we were expecting it to still be some time until I was ready to push and I didn't think I would have the stamina to deal with the contractions for that long of a time period and still have enough left in me to push.
Fortunately, the anesthesiologist was outside our door at this point and came right in to do the procedure. I was still having those nasty contractions and they were good about working during them but waiting to do any ouchy stuff until in-between.
Somewhere around this time, they also put in an IV for saline-type fluids + the pitocin drip that would ramp up the contractions. After this I was strapped to the monitors and in bed for keeps. Oh, but they gave me this thing I called the Happy Button which topped up the epidural if I was feeling pain. I tried not to let the Happy Button stray too far from my grasp.
Unfortunately, at one point the nurse didn't like how the baby's heart rate would dip after a contraction and came in to check on me. We switched my position around and somewhere in there his heart rate dropped for a good few minutes. The medical staff jumped right on it and within minutes there were two doctors and at least three nurses in the room checking on me. They turned back the pitocin and we all had a conversation about the possibility of a c-section if The Bean's heart rate was continuing to drop with the contractions.
At this point I was pretty freaked out, but was reassured when the doctor's watched the monitors after they stopped the oxytocin and said that he was doing okay. The staff doctor recommended that we take a break from the drugs to let him recover and then start them up again but more slowly this time. I have to say, for all of the talk about OB's being interventionist, she was excellent at trying to make sure I could still have a vaginal delivery. When his heart rate dropped, if they had said the only safe way to deliver was by c-section I wouldn't have hesitated to roll on down to the OR. I'm appreciative of Dr. Meffe's efforts to keep the birth vaginal.
So, they cranked back the pitocin and waited for a bit. At one point the nurse came in and said it was probably time to start it back up again, but both doctor's on the floor were in deliveries at the time, so she was going to wait until they were out and start it up then. And that's what they did.
Allison and I had just settled in for the long haul - expecting to deliver sometime in the late night or early morning when a new nurse came in to check on me. My regular nurse was on her break and this woman was her break relief. A former mid-wife, this nurse (who I later just called coach) checked my dilation and to our great surprise said I was 10 cm. She flicked on the lights and started doing stuff to the bed saying it was time to push. Whoa - It was only around 10 pm.
Allison asked the medical intern to find our midwife who was at the hospital with another client. Luckily, she had just finished delivering the baby for the client and in just a few minutes she was in the room with her student helping to do labor support.
Again, there were a ton of people in the room during most of the pushing. At one somewhat comical moment, it was only Allison, me, the medical intern, and the midwifery student. They coached me through the pushing. Around the 45 minute mark (I think!) Allison looked down and said she could see see his head and it was covered with blonde hair! I kept pushing and about 1 hour into it, the staff doctor said that she was getting concerned about letting the pushing go on for much longer because of the IUGR possibility. She also said that part of the reason it was taking this long was because I had very strong muscles that really weren't letting him through. Sooo, they busted out the vacuum and also gave me an episiotomy because of the above mentioned Ms. Olympia-worthy pelvic muscles.
Something I appreciated about the resident using the vacuum (which Allison says looks more like a suction cup than a vacuum) is that she told me that I still had to do the work of pushing, she was just using the vacuum to guide him out. Saying that let me know that I couldn't slack off on my job, and also helped me realize the vacuum wasn't as scary as some people make it out to be. Afterwords The Bean only had minor bruising on his noggin.
So, on the next set of contractions I pushed and Dr. Gen (AKA blonde doctor) guided. At one point, someone told me to look down and I could see The Bean from the torso up as someone was pulling him out of me. It was awesome.
They didn't put him on me right away because of the IUGR concerns. They wanted someone from pediatrics to examine him immediately. So, over to the warming station he went. Allison went over with him while I stayed to deliver the placenta and get stitched up.
Over at the table, the pediatrics doctor and some of the midwives cleaned him up and did his apgar score - a resounding 9! (The highest you can get is 10, but no one ever gets it.) They administered the vitamin K shot and put erythromycin in his eyes to prevent infection.
The pediatrician came over after a few minutes and told me that he was a healthy little boy. He clocked in at 5 lbs, 10 oz and 19 inches long.
At this point, care was transferred back over to the midwife team. They brought him over and gave him to me to hold then one of the midwives helped him latch onto my breast for the first time. Allison went down the hall to the waiting room and got my parents. They had stayed later then intended when my mom came to say goodbye and noticed that all of the lights in the room were on and it was filled with medical staff.
Mom and dad didn't get to hold him that night, but they were both super happy to see him. We hadn't told anyone his name before this point, so we announced it to them. His middle name is my dad's first name and he appeared to be touched.
Kristen, our midwife, discussed discharging me and asked if we preferred to stay overnight or go home. I wanted to go home so I could try to get a better night's sleep, but my dad piped up and informed her that we live in a 3rd floor walk up. Given our apartment location, my stitches, that the weather was pretty bad, and that we'd been through a lot the past couple of days, Kristen thought it was better that we stay the night.
So, off to the ante-natal rooms again we went. I got to be chauffeured down in a wheel-chair, though to tell the truth I got one kickin' hemorrhoid from pushing and may have preferred to shuffle down on my own.
This time Allison didn't have a recliner, so we both slept in my hospital bed (we fit much better that night than we would have had my belly still had a baby in it) with The Bean. It was amazing to doze and wake up with him snuggled between the two of us.
Overall, the experience felt very long but the hospital staff was unbelievable and I'm ecstatic to be home with my wonderful wife and our beautiful and healthy new son.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Due Date
Today is the day The Bean was supposed to arrive. It's kind of strange to imagine that if Jen hadn't been induced that he may not have been here until now... or even later than now. The past ten days we have been soaking up as much of this tiny person as we can and giving him all kinds of love and attention. It has been amazing. I am SO glad that the three of us have had this time together. Going back next week is going to be hard, but I'm glad to know that I have breaks coming up. I can't get enough of this guy!
THE STORY OF THE BEAN'S BIRTH
We went in to hospital on Monday the 10th at about 10am. We waited until about 3pm for the resident in triage to administer a medication (Cervadril) to make the cervix shorten and soften. They kept us at the hospital overnight because they wanted Jen to be at the hospital when labour started in case the baby wasn't handling things well. They also wanted to check Jen's vitals every 4 hours. By around 1:00am on Tuesday Jen was having some mild contractions. She woke me up at 1:30am and we timed them for a while. At about 2:30am we called the nurse and she checked on things and then at 3:00am a doctor came by to take out the Cervadril and see how things were progressing. She was slightly dilated, and we were told to try to get some sleep until the morning.
By about 2:30 in the afternoon Jen's contractions were getting a lot stronger. She had to stop and breathe through them and if she was up walking around she had to stop and hold on to something. The pain was very intense. When the doctors checked things again she was about 3cm. After having spent most of the night awake we were concerned with the strong contractions and estimating that it would take about another 6-7 hours to get to 10cm plus an hour or two of pushing that she would get too tired to continue with a natural delivery, so she asked for the epidural. They put that in at about 4pm and the relief was significant. Around that time they also started the Petocin. We were both able to lie down and rest for an hour or so, which was wonderful.
They continued to monitor Jen's contractions and the baby's heart rate as they increased the dosage of Petocin to make the labour progress. After a contraction the baby's heart rate would dip a little, which they weren't too happy about. Then, at one point, the baby's heart rate really dropped after a strong contraction and didn't pick back up. The medical and midwifery staff all rushed into the room. I was pretty scared, but the doctor was fantastic. She calmly turned back the dosage of Petocin and explained that if the baby continued to react that way then she would recommend a cesarean. I have to give her a lot of credit, at that point if the she had said she thought we should have a cesarean we would have done it without a second thought. Instead, she decided to give us a time to continue to monitor things before making that decision. The baby's heart rate stabilized after about three or four minutes and we were able to continue with the vaginal delivery.
At about 10pm a nurse came in and checked Jen. She was 10cm and the nurse encouraged her to start pushing with the next contraction! We were very surprised. Our team of doctors, midwives and nurses came in and encouraged Jen to push through her contractions. Right towards the end they used a vacuum and administered a 2nd degree episiomity to help him on his way out. After a little under an hour The Bean was born. It was absolutely amazing to watch him come out and look around and start to cry. They cleaned him off and checked his APGAR response (which were great -9/10 at both the one and five minute marks). Then they let us hold him. One of the midwives helped Jen start nursing right away. Jen's parents were in the waiting room and came in shortly after the birth to visit.
We ended up staying in the hospital overnight so that they could keep a close eye on both Jen and The Bean and on Wednesday we went home. Jen's parents stayed in the city until Thursday. They were very helpful -watching the baby while we rested, going to the store and getting some things we needed, preparing and tidying up dinner, etc.
The first couple of days (well, more nights) were a little tough. We were very concerned about The Bean's size and he wasn't nursing well. Fortunately we were able to get a lot of support from the midwives and from a doula we hired just so we could have that extra little bit of reassurance. He's now eating like a champ and packing on the weight. After a drop down to 5lbs. 2oz. on day three, today he weighed in today (day ten) at 6lbs. 1oz.! We're all starting to figure things out a bit and get into a little routine (eat, diaper change, sleep, repeat). The Bean's had lots of visitors, but we're trying not to overdo it. I think my favourite moment so far was when the four of us (cat included) cuddled up on the couch together.
I cannot express how wonderful it is having this little guy in our lives. I love our little family so much!
THE STORY OF THE BEAN'S BIRTH
We went in to hospital on Monday the 10th at about 10am. We waited until about 3pm for the resident in triage to administer a medication (Cervadril) to make the cervix shorten and soften. They kept us at the hospital overnight because they wanted Jen to be at the hospital when labour started in case the baby wasn't handling things well. They also wanted to check Jen's vitals every 4 hours. By around 1:00am on Tuesday Jen was having some mild contractions. She woke me up at 1:30am and we timed them for a while. At about 2:30am we called the nurse and she checked on things and then at 3:00am a doctor came by to take out the Cervadril and see how things were progressing. She was slightly dilated, and we were told to try to get some sleep until the morning.
By about 2:30 in the afternoon Jen's contractions were getting a lot stronger. She had to stop and breathe through them and if she was up walking around she had to stop and hold on to something. The pain was very intense. When the doctors checked things again she was about 3cm. After having spent most of the night awake we were concerned with the strong contractions and estimating that it would take about another 6-7 hours to get to 10cm plus an hour or two of pushing that she would get too tired to continue with a natural delivery, so she asked for the epidural. They put that in at about 4pm and the relief was significant. Around that time they also started the Petocin. We were both able to lie down and rest for an hour or so, which was wonderful.
They continued to monitor Jen's contractions and the baby's heart rate as they increased the dosage of Petocin to make the labour progress. After a contraction the baby's heart rate would dip a little, which they weren't too happy about. Then, at one point, the baby's heart rate really dropped after a strong contraction and didn't pick back up. The medical and midwifery staff all rushed into the room. I was pretty scared, but the doctor was fantastic. She calmly turned back the dosage of Petocin and explained that if the baby continued to react that way then she would recommend a cesarean. I have to give her a lot of credit, at that point if the she had said she thought we should have a cesarean we would have done it without a second thought. Instead, she decided to give us a time to continue to monitor things before making that decision. The baby's heart rate stabilized after about three or four minutes and we were able to continue with the vaginal delivery.
At about 10pm a nurse came in and checked Jen. She was 10cm and the nurse encouraged her to start pushing with the next contraction! We were very surprised. Our team of doctors, midwives and nurses came in and encouraged Jen to push through her contractions. Right towards the end they used a vacuum and administered a 2nd degree episiomity to help him on his way out. After a little under an hour The Bean was born. It was absolutely amazing to watch him come out and look around and start to cry. They cleaned him off and checked his APGAR response (which were great -9/10 at both the one and five minute marks). Then they let us hold him. One of the midwives helped Jen start nursing right away. Jen's parents were in the waiting room and came in shortly after the birth to visit.
We ended up staying in the hospital overnight so that they could keep a close eye on both Jen and The Bean and on Wednesday we went home. Jen's parents stayed in the city until Thursday. They were very helpful -watching the baby while we rested, going to the store and getting some things we needed, preparing and tidying up dinner, etc.
The first couple of days (well, more nights) were a little tough. We were very concerned about The Bean's size and he wasn't nursing well. Fortunately we were able to get a lot of support from the midwives and from a doula we hired just so we could have that extra little bit of reassurance. He's now eating like a champ and packing on the weight. After a drop down to 5lbs. 2oz. on day three, today he weighed in today (day ten) at 6lbs. 1oz.! We're all starting to figure things out a bit and get into a little routine (eat, diaper change, sleep, repeat). The Bean's had lots of visitors, but we're trying not to overdo it. I think my favourite moment so far was when the four of us (cat included) cuddled up on the couch together.
I cannot express how wonderful it is having this little guy in our lives. I love our little family so much!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Birth Announcement
We are happy to announce the birth of our son. Born January 11th, 2011. Weighed 5lbs, 10oz. at birth. Baby is healthy and doing well.
Longer update to follow when Mom and Mama are a little better rested. For now, we're enjoying falling in love with this little boy and figuring out this whole parenting thing.
Longer update to follow when Mom and Mama are a little better rested. For now, we're enjoying falling in love with this little boy and figuring out this whole parenting thing.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Good News***
It feels like I've been waiting AGES to post this... I decided I'd make myself wait until six weeks, just to be on the safe(r) side. We're pregnant! Words cannot describe how happy I am. Of course, there's also a good bit of anxiety mixed in there too. I think/hope that after tweleve weeks that will start to fade a bit.
Here's "The Story". I wrote it about two weeks ago, after the clinic and our GP had confirmed things.
As we walked into the building, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that this time it was going to work. I bit my tongue. I didn’t want Jen to feel any added pressure. Just as I was thinking all this out in my mind, she turned to me and said, “I think this time it’s going to work.” I looked at her and told her, “Me too.”
Friday, ten days after the insemination, Jen took a home pregnancy test. She didn’t even tell me until the next day. It had come out negative.
Sunday was Mother’s Day. We drove out of the city to take my mom out for lunch. When we got back there was a message from our good friend, who we had considered using as a donor, on the machine.
Here's a transcription of his message:
“Hey you two, this is [your friend] calling, it’s ah, quarter after nine here, Sunday morning. I had a vision this week. I had a very clear vision that you all are going to have a baby very soon. If you’re not preggers already, don’t worry, it’s going to happen very soon. It came to me like the wind. It just blew through my bones as I was walking down the street. So, just hang in there. It’s all going to happen. It’s been confirmed! The angels have spoken! I am the messenger. Oh lordy, I need to have a cup of coffee... wake myself up here. Anyways, I have some clients coming soon, I had a half hour here, or forty five minutes actually, I thought I’d try and catch up with you guys. So hope you’re having a great day, and we’ll talk soon. Alright, take care. Bye bye”
Monday morning I got up and started getting ready. Jen followed me into the bathroom. She had another test with her. We both watched for the results. A horizontal blue line showed up. Not surprised, I went into the kitchen to make my tea. Moments later, she came out of the bathroom holding the pregnancy test. Her eyes were wide as she brought it over to me. “It’s faint, but there’s another line! I think I’m pregnant!” I looked, she was right, there was another line, blue and vertical. Faint, but distinctly there. I hugged her. She was pregnant!
Tuesday she went back to the clinic for the follow-up blood work. Our expectations from the day before were confirmed.
Our doctor told us that she is four week pregnant. Our baby is due January 21st, 2011.
Here's "The Story". I wrote it about two weeks ago, after the clinic and our GP had confirmed things.
As we walked into the building, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that this time it was going to work. I bit my tongue. I didn’t want Jen to feel any added pressure. Just as I was thinking all this out in my mind, she turned to me and said, “I think this time it’s going to work.” I looked at her and told her, “Me too.”
Friday, ten days after the insemination, Jen took a home pregnancy test. She didn’t even tell me until the next day. It had come out negative.
Sunday was Mother’s Day. We drove out of the city to take my mom out for lunch. When we got back there was a message from our good friend, who we had considered using as a donor, on the machine.
Here's a transcription of his message:
“Hey you two, this is [your friend] calling, it’s ah, quarter after nine here, Sunday morning. I had a vision this week. I had a very clear vision that you all are going to have a baby very soon. If you’re not preggers already, don’t worry, it’s going to happen very soon. It came to me like the wind. It just blew through my bones as I was walking down the street. So, just hang in there. It’s all going to happen. It’s been confirmed! The angels have spoken! I am the messenger. Oh lordy, I need to have a cup of coffee... wake myself up here. Anyways, I have some clients coming soon, I had a half hour here, or forty five minutes actually, I thought I’d try and catch up with you guys. So hope you’re having a great day, and we’ll talk soon. Alright, take care. Bye bye”
Monday morning I got up and started getting ready. Jen followed me into the bathroom. She had another test with her. We both watched for the results. A horizontal blue line showed up. Not surprised, I went into the kitchen to make my tea. Moments later, she came out of the bathroom holding the pregnancy test. Her eyes were wide as she brought it over to me. “It’s faint, but there’s another line! I think I’m pregnant!” I looked, she was right, there was another line, blue and vertical. Faint, but distinctly there. I hugged her. She was pregnant!
Tuesday she went back to the clinic for the follow-up blood work. Our expectations from the day before were confirmed.
Our doctor told us that she is four week pregnant. Our baby is due January 21st, 2011.
PHOTO
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
The Beginning
Where to start?
I am one half of a lesbian couple who is just starting to try to have our first baby. We decided many years ago that we wanted to have children. We weren't quite sure how we were going to make it happen, but it was definitely in "The Plans". There were other things that had to happen first. Me finishing school. Us getting married. Her moving to Canada. We've accomplished these things. Now it's time for the next step: trying to have a baby.
Unfortunately, when we started this process, we didn't know any other lesbian couples who had tried to have a baby, so we started off by researching things online. Eventually we decided that we would go to a fertility clinic with the hopes of getting my wife pregnant using donor sperm.
Yesterday was our first visit at the clinic. The doctor there went over my wife's medical history with us and asked us what our plans were. She explained a little bit about the process and gave us a package with a whack of information in it.
It seems the next step is for my wife to go get a bunch of blood work done and get the results sent to the clinic. They need to check hormone levels and some other stuff. My understanding is that they are looking for anything that might show that there could be difficulties conceiving. Hopefully there isn't.
We also got information on the sperm banks that we have access to. We need to look through their catalogues and decide which donor(s) we would like to use. (It's recommended that you choose at least one "back up" in case your first choice isn't available.) I think that it is going to be a difficult decision to make.
Appointment #2 is in a month. The doctor at the clinic will go over my wife's blood work with us and, assuming we're able to pick a donor by then, set up an appointment to start cycle monotoring.
And so it begins...
I am one half of a lesbian couple who is just starting to try to have our first baby. We decided many years ago that we wanted to have children. We weren't quite sure how we were going to make it happen, but it was definitely in "The Plans". There were other things that had to happen first. Me finishing school. Us getting married. Her moving to Canada. We've accomplished these things. Now it's time for the next step: trying to have a baby.
Unfortunately, when we started this process, we didn't know any other lesbian couples who had tried to have a baby, so we started off by researching things online. Eventually we decided that we would go to a fertility clinic with the hopes of getting my wife pregnant using donor sperm.
Yesterday was our first visit at the clinic. The doctor there went over my wife's medical history with us and asked us what our plans were. She explained a little bit about the process and gave us a package with a whack of information in it.
It seems the next step is for my wife to go get a bunch of blood work done and get the results sent to the clinic. They need to check hormone levels and some other stuff. My understanding is that they are looking for anything that might show that there could be difficulties conceiving. Hopefully there isn't.
We also got information on the sperm banks that we have access to. We need to look through their catalogues and decide which donor(s) we would like to use. (It's recommended that you choose at least one "back up" in case your first choice isn't available.) I think that it is going to be a difficult decision to make.
Appointment #2 is in a month. The doctor at the clinic will go over my wife's blood work with us and, assuming we're able to pick a donor by then, set up an appointment to start cycle monotoring.
And so it begins...
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