Monday, August 8, 2011

Crying and Crying and (please, God) Quiet

Peaceful Sleep - Easier Said Than Done!
I’ve learned a lot since becoming a parent. Things like, no matter what you do, the baby will have a giant poo on the airplane.  Or no matter how long you wait to put him in his cute outfit, he will spit up on it as you are snapping the last snap.

One of the other things I’m learning is how much I delude myself. (see Famous Last Words ) I wasn’t going to have morning sickness.  (wrong!)  I wouldn’t eat anything that the books said I shouldn’t.  (wrong!) I wasn’t going to get the epidural. (oh, how very wrong!)

And, then there is “We aren’t going to do Cry It Out.” 

I’m sitting beside a timer counting down from 15 minutes.  

The Bean is in his room all sweaty and crying.  

(Why does he get so sweaty?  It’s like he does it to make me feel THAT much worse when I go in to check on him.)

We read books.  We gave him a lovey (one that he won't smother himself with).  We pumped him full of breast milk all day.  We implemented a bedtime routine.  We shoved him full of food/milk/cereal before bed. We read websites. We did “quiet” playtime. We rocked, bounced, swung, used key words, and sung.  We re-read the books. We put him down awake. We put him down asleep.  We put him down drowsy.

I threw the books across the room.  

The Bean is in his room screaming. The timer is under 10 minutes now.

We are not bad parents. We are not bad parents. We are not bad parents.

I has taken me a couple of weeks to get here, but I believe this is the best thing - The Bean needs to learn how to put himself to sleep.  Lots of other parents have told us they also tried the “gentle” methods to no avail.  Like us, a friend with a son The Bean’s age said the no-cry methods made her little guy sleep worse.

We are not bad parents. We are not bad parents. We are not bad parents.

The timer is under 5 minutes now and The Bean is quiet.  

Ah.  There.  This Cry It Out thing isn't so bad. (wrong!)


  1. You are not bad parents!

  2. I're not bad parents! Hearing them cry is awful but it will make everyone's lives better. Our girls now go down easily at night so our bedtime routine has been cut in half. It makes us feel like we actually have a life again :) Stick with it!

  3. @loveplusloveequalsmarriage and @Ashleigh, Thanks! It's not always easy, but I try to remind myself that it's the best thing for everyone. I'm getting better at the bedtime crying, but I think we need to eliminate his 4 a.m. habit wake-up and that's probably going to be a little tougher on us. eek!

  4. You are EXCELLENT parents! Cry it Out is hard, but it really is the best method for some families. Simply the fact that you are so attentive and concerned shows what great moms you are! This too shall pass. And when he is three years old, you will hardly remember it. ;)

  5. Thank you for this post. We are struggling with a baby struggling with sleeping and letting him cry it out rips my heart out and makes me feel like the worst mother on the planet. It's so nice to read about others with the same challenges - it makes the path seem a little less lonely.

  6. @shessosaucy - I agree it can seem pretty lonely when you're struggling with sleep issues. It really helped that we had two mom friends going through the same thing at the same time.

    Knowing that other people were trying the same "tricks" and not having any made me stop feeling like I was just doing it wrong.

    Of the three of us, two kept going with CIO and one decided it wasn't for her. So, certainly, to each her own.

    Even if it hadn't worked for us, I think there would a be a part of me that was glad to have tried it and made sure.