Monday, November 16, 2015

November 2015 Photo Challenge, 9-16

As I've already said, I'm participating in a November Photo Challenge and anyone who cares to is welcome to participate.  Leave a link to your post in the comments!

Here is my second installment:

First catching up with...November 4: Comfort
I had to pick up The Bean from school early one day as he had thrown up.  He rarely naps anymore, but fell asleep in his "nest" during quiet time.


And onto this past week (or so)'s photos...
November 9: Touch
 The squirrels at the Public Garden were really bold.  They came right up to us looking for food.

November 10: Colour
I don't have a photo that really stands out for this one, so I'm putting it on my catch up list.
November 11: Memories
I am really drawn to ghost signs.  This was one we walked by in Boston.

November 12: Clothing
My suitcase all packed up for my trip. It was such a shocking realization that packing for only myself is SO easy. In fact, I could have gotten away with bringing much less than I did.

November 13: Rest
Admittedly, this is a bit morbid and not at all what I had in mind when I came up with the word "rest" on this list. But many of the gravestones in the Boston cemeteries had this image on them. I need to do some research to find out the history on it. 

November 14: Friendship
Taken by by best friend's fiancee. My best friend and I have both had some ups and downs the past few years that have indirectly impacted our friendship. It was good to spend time together this weekend. 

November 15: Movement
The Bean very rarely stops moving. This blurry photo is from a bedroom dance party.

November 16: Beauty
I know why they put the bench by this tree. I could have sat and started at it for ages. Gorgeous. 


And here's the full list for anyone who wants to join in...

November 2015 Photo Challenge November 1: ShadowsNovember 2:  RoutineNovember 3:  MusicNovember 4: ComfortNovember 5: WordsNovember 6: ChangeNovember 7: AnimalsNovember 8: SkyNovember 9: TouchNovember 10: ColourNovember 11: MemoriesNovember 12: ClothingNovember 13: RestNovember 14: FriendshipNovember 15: MovementNovember 16: BeautyNovember 17: CreativityNovember 18: TechnologyNovember 19: WeatherNovember 20: WaterNovember 21: FamilyNovember 22: NatureNovember 23: LoveNovember 24: KindnessNovember 25: FoodNovember 26: TraditionNovember 27: HomeNovember 28: HolidaysNovember 29: ArtNovember 30: Warmth

Sunday, November 8, 2015

November 2015 Photo Challenge, 1-8

Along with Little Monster(s) & Mommies and Two Lasses, a Baby Three Children, I am co-hosting a November photo challenge. For anyone who wants (needs) motivation to blog this month, here it is. Come join us!  (It's not too late to start!)

All you have to do is:
-take photos using the daily prompts.
-post them on your blog. (I plan to post weekly, because daily photos never mind daily blog posts aren't really that likely to happen.) 
-come back here and comment to let us know you're playing along. 

Here is my first installment:
November 1: Shadows
Not only were we out at the perfect time of day for casting shadows, I like how Sprout is following The Bean in this one.  She really is his little shadow.

November 2:  Routine
The first thing she says whenever we get anywhere is, "I'm hungry.  Did you bring a snack?"  So here she is, munching on chicken fingers at 9am.

November 3:  Music
Next week, perhaps?

November 4: Comfort
See above.

November 5: Words
Tickets for the zoo, courtesy of The Bean. 

November 6: Change
Jen says of all this needs an explanation. 
Since starting school we have seen a HUGE difference in The Bean's interest in "written work" (both drawing and writing). He insisted on bringing along some new notepads and pencil crayons on our nature walk and would sit down at various intervals to write his notes. Prior to this he was solely into the hiking and jumping and throwing of stones into the when we went on our nature walks. This is clearly very important work to him these days.

November 7: Animals




November 8: Sky

And here are the daily prompts for the entire month:

November 2015 Photo Challenge 
November 1: Shadows
November 2:  Routine
November 3:  Music
November 4: Comfort
November 5: Words
November 6: Change
November 7: Animals
November 8: Sky
November 9: Touch
November 10: Colour
November 11: Memories
November 12: Clothing
November 13: Rest
November 14: Friendship
November 15: Movement
November 16: Beauty
November 17: Creativity
November 18: Technology
November 19: Weather
November 20: Water
November 21: Family
November 22: Nature
November 23: Love
November 24: Kindness
November 25: Food
November 26: Tradition
November 27: Home
November 28: Holidays
November 29: Art
November 30: Warmth

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Nursing a Toddler

When I was pregnant, I imagined Sprout nursing until she was a year old. As her first birthday approached, it seemed pretty evident that she wasn't going to be stopping any time soon. Sometime shortly after that, I recall saying to Jen that I was fairly certain she'd self-wean by age two. Her second birthday came and went more or less as her first did: with no end to her nursing days in sight. I've learned from my past experience, so with her third birthday around the corner, I'm making no assumptions about when she will wean.

I always feel a bit anxious when posting even a sentence or two stating that I am still nursing.  Will readers think I'm crazy for breastfeeding for so long? Will those who haven't breastfeed their babies feel judged?  Maybe it's best to begin with this post by stating that I am firm believer that people need to do what feels right for them and their families and their babies when it comes to nursing. I understand that some people can't or just don't want to nurse their children or decide to wean after a certain point. It's a personal decision. Still, I feel judged. I know there are many people who think it's (beyond) time I stopped nursing Sprout. I always feel like I need to justify our nursing relationship --it's only around sleeping times. It's not in public. Etc. Etc.

All that to say, I've had this post floating around in my head for a while. It's just been hard to actually write and publish it.

I am fortunate in that nursing was never a big challenge physically for me. Sprout latched well.  I produced enough milk. One of the most difficult things in those early days, and still a hard part of it now, is the forced stop of all other activity. I've never been one to read on my phone or really do anything at all while nursing except for, well, nurse. Sitting still is not one of my strong suits. I have had to make a concerted effort to be in the moment. To watch Sprout's face and feet and hands while she nurses. To do  my best to commit those moments to memory. To take a minute to rest.

I never imagined myself nursing a child for this long. And for me, in this moment, it does feel like it's been a long time. I am both grateful for my ability to do so and exhausted by it. If we hadn't night weaned her after her second birthday, I may be losing my mind by this point. Fortunately, one of the biggest differences between nursing an infant and nursing a toddler is that the toddler can understand when you say you've had enough. They might not like it, but they understand. In addition to night weaning, setting limits to where and when I nurse has gone a long way towards making me feel comfortable with nursing a toddler.

Without saying when I think she will wean, I do feel like the end to our nursing days is drawing closer. I know I'm no longer producing a lot of milk.  Sprout's nursing sessions have become increasingly shorter. It's obvious that the main goal of the nursing is now comfort. As she snuggles in I can often feel her body relax. Her breath slow. Her eyes close.  For a toddler that doesn't like missing the action, I like that nursing gives her the ability to slow down and disengage when she needs that break. And the weight of her sleeping body in my arms. I will miss that.

I was concerned that when Jen and I went away this summer that Sprout would be done nursing upon our return. When we got back and she asked practically first thing to nurse, I breathed a sigh of relief. A week long vacation that she had no say in was not how I wanted things to end. But, after that "reunion" nursing session I also knew that I would be (mostly) okay with things coming to an end soon. I am ready to have my body back to myself.  To not have to feel guilty about leaving her around naps or bed time. To have a back that doesn't ache from positioning awkwardly in a chair. I've questioned Sprout on whether she is ready to stop.  (No.) Or if she will be soon... perhaps when she is three?  (Yes. But then no.)  If not then, when? (Never. Stopping nursing? Why? What a ridiculous thought!)

Sprout's attachment to me is very strong. Sometimes as a person who needs their alone time it can be overwhelming. I joke about Sprout being a "Mama's girl", but the truth of it is that she is. I feel like a lot of that has to do with our nursing relationship. And while I am glad that she feels close to me, I also feel guilty that she doesn't have that same relationship with Jen and that she will reject Jen in favour of me. The Bean didn't do this. I think I would have been heartbroken if he did.  He also weaned before a year old. While Jen seems to take things in stride and keep the perspective of this as being a short term thing, sometimes I wonder if breastfeeding Sprout for this long has been the fair thing to do in terms of Jen's relationship with her.

Though there are reasons I am ready to stop, I know I will miss nursing Sprout. Maybe that's why I'm not forcing things at this point.  I like to think I'll be able to let weaning happen on it's own. Almost certainly before she is four... right?