Monday, October 8, 2012

Thankful for This Space

When I started this blog I was seeking out information on starting a family.  I didn't know any families that looked like ours, that had grown the way we planned on having ours grow, that had had to make decisions and deal with the challenges I thought we might face.  I was excited and I was overwhelmed.  I didn't fully realize it at the time, but I was looking for a community.  Now, on this day of reflecting on what we are thankful for, what feels like so many years later, I want to acknowledge how thankful I am for this space and for the people it has brought to me. 

There are readers here that I feel very connected to.  Truly kindred spirits.  Readers that understand the challenges and joys of being a mom in a two-mom family.  Readers that have both supported me and celebrated with me, sometimes in ways that have felt more genuine than friends who I love dearly in my life, but who do not share the same experience. 

There are people who live closeby enough that we've been able to meet.  To spend time together.  To let our children play.  Though I imagine him to be beautifully oblivious now, it means so much to me that The Bean will know other families with a similar structure to his own.  That he won't feel like the only child with two moms and no dad.  That he will have acquaintances, and possibly friends, that he won't have to explain things to.  That will understand that he has grown up loved and lucky.  But who will also be able to relate to any conflicting feelings he may have. 

There have been opportunities to share my stories with others beyond this space.  A family who is in the same place as we were those many years ago who I've been able to talk on the phone with, hopefully providing some guidance.  Some reassurance.  Some hope.  A young woman, a writer, a lesbian, wanting to share stories about lesbian moms with her readers.  Readers in other spaces created as a resource for families like ours. (Now is as good a time as any to announce that we've been asked to blog for Equally Family.)  Though I know that even though we share some commonalities our journies will vary, I love having the chance to share our story with the hopes that it will help others.

These are just some of the many things I am thankful for today.


  1. Feeling the love :) I love your blog and I thing you have a beautiful family. I also love the community, everyone is so supportive.

  2. I love this community too and have made lots of friends from it (including you!) I started my blog when Kim was pregnant with Erik. We knew no one in real life who had a family like ours, and now, six years later, we've made many friends with two-mom families and our kids see plenty of families like ours. It's been wonderful. Happy Thanksgiving!

  3. Thank you for your blog, which I love! I'm only new to this journey and I hope in a few years I will feel the same way!

  4. This was so lovely to read, especially because this is what drew me to your blog in the first place - trying to find families that look like mine will. I'm very thankful for all the stories and everyday wisdom that you share here :)

  5. I'm in the same space as you were when you started out. Coming from New Zealand there are lesbian families here, but nowhere near as many as in the US. Also we live in the country. Finally, finding lesbians who have struggled to conceive makes the pool even smaller. Coming online and reading blogs has given me much solace over the past 6 mths as I waited to start TTC again after 2 miscarriages in a 5 month period.
    Reading stories of other women's struggles and grief consoled me and normalized the hopelessness I was feeling. Reading stories of successful outcomes has fortified me and encouraged me to pick myself up and try again.
    So now I'm blogging our journey, in the hope to find a community where I fit and also to offer information about our pathway from miscarriage to our future babies.
    I hope you'll come visit my blog - pepibebe @ wordpress