Of course we are still feeling the absence of our cat. Even Sprout is looking for her now, questioning "Mo? Mo?" when she wakes up from her naps. Pointing out the cats in her books and asking "Kitty?" The Bean tells us a few times a day that he is sad because our cat is gone. We are sad too. My dad called yesterday afternoon and I ended up crying on the phone with him for twenty minutes.
On top of that we have been dealing with The Bean being sick. Concernedly sick. He seems to be on the other side of it now, thank goodness, but it was pretty awful. I haven't written about it at length here, but he's had pretty persistent stomach issues for a good two+ years now. At first we thought he was having a bit of a flare up --we'd been travelling. Off our schedule. He threw up. We worried, but didn't worry too much. He had started to have bad diarrhea. We wondered if it was food related. We booked an appointment with our pediatrician for Celiac (etc.) testing. Then he started vomiting again. He threw up once a day for five consecutive days. When we were out running errands. When we was on the couch chilling out. When he was sleeping in our bed. He was barely eating. He had next to no energy. He'd wake up, go lie on the couch, and request to be covered in blankets even though it's the middle of the summer. Jen took him to the urgent care. They ordered more blood work and stool samples. They took his weight and Jen noted that he'd dropped over 5lbs. That's quite a bit percentage of body weight for a kid who just broke the 30lbs mark. Anyway, things have been improving over the course of this week. We still don't have any answers as to what it is/was, but I'm glad the worst of it seems to be over.
However, his behaviour has been SO difficult. Perhaps we were too forgiving of his moodiness and demands when he was sick. We have had a lot of ignoring our requests the past little bit. A lot of yelling. Even quite a bit of kicking and flailing. It's awful. It's exhausting. I've tried giving him extra attention. Talking to him. Listening. Compromising. I've tried ignoring. Threatening. Taking away privileges. Nothing seems to be working consistently. Jen and I were trying to brainstorm about what approach to take last night and after a little bit of talking I told her I was too exhausted to think about it any more. Hopefully I'm able to gather my reserves and we can decide what we're going to do soon. We can't let this go on.
On top of it all, it's August. August is when I'm supposed to be thinking about starting back to work. Only I'm not starting back. Again. And while we agree that me staying home with the kids and Jen working full time (gods willing) is what makes the most sense right now, it doesn't really feel like a decision. It's more of a default. Because truth be told there are no jobs in our city in my field that I am able to get. I can't quite answer why that's the way it is. I can't even get an interview with the public boards, and the job postings for the private schools are few and far between. My fingers are perpetually crossed that something changes and I do get an amazing job at an amazing school and there is space for our kids in the daycare that we love, but it's not likely. Which makes it hard not to think about next fall when The Bean starts kindergarten and what will happen then? What if nothing changes on the job front between now and then? What do we do? Do I stay home until both kids are in school full time? Do I apply for a job working the cash at a nearby store? Day shift or night? Do I take more courses? Do I go back to school? Again, we have no real answers here. And honestly I find the whole thing completely overwhelming.
Anyway, that's sort of where we've been the past few weeks. There have been some great moments to, to be sure. And I will try to update on those before too long passes. Concerts. Parks. Visits from family members. Parties. Play dates. Hopefully things which stick in my memory more than some of this other stuff.