Monday, April 23, 2012

Tales from the Deflated Uterus

It's been awhile since I've posted, but I've certainly been keeping an eye on things.  Allison is much better at the pick one thing and stick to it way of life and I take more of a shotgun approach and move on often. Certain people and things excepted, of course.
Allison mentioned that she thought I should do some posts on this pregnancy from my side of the stirrups.  I'm not sure how many lesbian couples decide to go this route, first one partner then the other, but we've been on this track pretty much from the start.  Allison has probably mentioned this previously, but for any newcomers, we decided that I would carry the first child because I was older and hit that magic "you better get hopping on this baby-wagon" age of 35 several years before Allison.

Allison got pregnant a lot faster than I did.  It took me five attempts over the course of about 10 months I'd say (it's in our TTC timeline, I'm just too lazy to look it up and do that math right now.) I'm very happy that Allison got knocked up faster than I did.

First of all, going through all that jazz really wears on a girl, and I'm relieved that Allison doesn't have to do it anymore.  Secondly, because we had limited supply of our donor left, I'm excited that we were able to conceive another child from one of his deposits so The Bean and The Sprout can be biologically related.  Looking back on this whole fertility journey, the one thing I would do differently would be to buy more samples right out of the gate.

I haven't been as enamored with our clinic this time around.  Mostly because there seem to be some protocol changes that have been enacted since we were there before, and no one really briefed us on those.  When I questioned them at our first insemination attempt the doctor on duty that day gave me an answer that sounded a lot like "I'm too busy to talk to you right now."  After having waited in the clinic's waiting room for close to 2-hours at times, that really set me off.

Attempt number two felt better from the get-go than number one did. The timing seemed better. The doctor on duty that day was the same one that got me pregnant.  And, he explained the timing and protocols in a way that made me feel a lot better.  I do think there was a little B.S. thrown in there, but his overall answer left me feeling satisfied.  And, hey, he put a baby in my wife so that's hard to argue with.

The past week has been hard.  I feel like I'm having to take care of everyone.  Allison hasn't been well, as you know.  The Bean is still just a  little guy who needs lots of care.  And, even the cat has been sick and is now on two prescriptions.  I feel like I've been missing a lot of work to run around to appointments, but I am grateful that my employers are very family friendly and haven't given me a hard time.

They say your blog post should have a list, so here's a list of some lessons I've learned so far in this TTC journey.
  • Be persistent.  Our old midwife collective wasn't able to take us at first, but through phone call after phone call of pestering, they found a way to work us in.
  • Be kind to yourself. Even though I'm healthy and my body isn't going through all of the crap that Allison's is, I can still take time out for myself to relax.  Even if there are dirty dishes in the sink. And cat puke on the floor.
  • You don't know what it's like for someone else.  My pregnancy sickness wasn't as bad as Allison's and I've been trying not to impress my experience upon her and say things like "it's not that bad" or "just put on a good face" because sometimes, you just can't model through it.
And, for the cute picture to accompany my post:


  1. Great to hear from you Jen. :) I'm sorry it's been hard for you and feeling like you have to take care of everyone. I know how that feels because Kim's second pregnancy was pretty rough. She was irritable, pale, and exhausted. It's a hard time for everyone, even if it is a really happy time too.

    Also, just wanted to say that you accidentally put the Bean's real name in this post.

  2. Thanks Shannon. I'm hoping that Allison will start to feel better soon - she got a prescription for diclectin today and I think it is helping. Only 6 more weeks of sickness to go, right? Right!? :-)

    Thanks for the heads up on The Bean's name. I'm bad about that...

  3. its always interesting to read pregnancy-from-the-other side posts. it's a whole set of challenges in itself. sounds like you are doing great though, i love that you are taking some time for yourself too; that can be so hard.

  4. Stacy is going next for us, I am going to find it hard, but hopefully I shall stay supportive and not jealous lol

  5. G and I will be doing the same, I will be next and we will be trying later this Summer. Nice to see your point of view.