Monday, March 21, 2016


Tomorrow we get back to our regular routine, after The Bean having a week off for March Break. We spent the first part of the week at Jen's parents'. We drove up Friday night, Jen left Sunday (she had to be back for work), and the kids and I stayed through Wednesday to get a couple of extra days with Grandma and Grandpa.

The kids just love it there. The Bean was so joy-filled on Saturday morning when he was outside playing he kept exclaiming, "I'm just so happy!" Goodness, how that made me wish we lived closer. Sprout, always Grandma's girl, took to her even more this visit to the point of rejecting me for her. What a strange feeling! Apart from a GORGEOUS Saturday, the weather was pretty soggy, so most of our days were spent indoors, but the kids did enjoyed themselves, regardless. We went to see Zootopia one day and another day went to the play area at the local mall to burn off some steam. It went quickly, as our trips there do.

I am so glad that our kids enjoy spending time with Jen's family. I enjoy spending time with them too. I really lucked out in the in-law department. It's not something that I take for granted.

Things have certainly improved over the years with my mom. I know that the adult relationships will never be quite as comfortable as the ones we have with Jen's parents though. The kids, however, love their Oma and are always very happy to spend time with her. She's surprised me twice recently --once by apologizing for kicking me out. I never, ever thought that day would come. She seemed genuinely remorseful and it felt good (though that's not quite the right word) to finally have the injustice of the situation acknowledged. The second surprise is that she agreed to watch the kids for two nights when we go to Boston for our friends' wedding in April. I don't think The Bean and Sprout have registered the fact that they aren't coming to the wedding yet (we originally thought it was going to be kid-friendly, but as plans progressed it turned out not to be) and they'll likely be a little disappointed when that realization sets in, but I think knowing that they're going to have a few days with Oma will help soften the blow. I just hope Oma can handle things here!

As I mentioned in my previous post, my sister and I are still not speaking. There are issues, like the holidays, that make me feel disappointed that this is where things have progressed to, but I feel like the decision to cut ties has been the right one. The upcoming holiday along with watching our two kids interact this week has had me thinking about how my mom must feel about our estrangement. Still, I think I would be absolutely heartbroken if The Bean and Sprout found themselves in a similar situation as adults. Witnessing their sibling bond is one of my greatest joys. They have their moments, but overall they are so good with each other and I am so grateful for their relationship. I hope they remain close as they grow up. (My sister and I have always had a volatile relationship, which I thought we had outgrown, but I suppose not. My brother and I, much like Jen and her brother, get along fine, but are not close.)

Overall we're really lucky with family. My aunt is almost like another grandparent to the kids, and my cousins are like aunts and uncles. The biggest complaint is that so much of our family lives far away and we don't get to see them nearly as much as we'd like to.


  1. That is really great about your mom! Family dynamics are such a complex thing and not easy to traverse. Sounds like you all are headed in the right direction.

    You know I've said this before, but you should just move to the in laws area ;)

  2. If only PA were just an hour away from here and not several! I really hate being so far away from my family, especially because we always have such a nice time when we visit (or they come here) and Evie adores her grandparents. It's the only set of grandparents she's got, so sometimes I feel like I'm cheating her out of the real experience of having really involved g-parents like I had.

    Anyway - I'm glad you all had such a nice visit! Has your mom said anything about how the estrangement makes her feel or is it a taboo subject? So nice of her to volunteer to watch the kids while you're in Boston!

  3. Such great news about your mom. I'm sure the apology meant a lot to you.

    Sorry things aren't good with your sister but it sounds like you're making the best decision for you. Family relationships can be so difficult sometimes.

    Your in-laws sound amazing and it's great that you all have such a wonderful relationship with them.