Wednesday, March 15, 2017

A Break

We are nearly mid-way through March Break.

I feel like, for all of us, this is a much-needed time. There has barely been a moment to pause lately.

I over-scheduled the kids this winter, which means we were all over-schedule. Running around to various lessons and activities more days than not. Mostly enjoying things, but still exhausted. Sprout was crying at school drop off nearly every morning saying she wanted to come home with me, or that she wanted me to stay with her. Some days I lingered a while and quietly left after she'd settled in, others I had to peel her off of me, apologizing profusely to the teachers on yard duty and hoping that she'd settle down quickly. (Her teacher, who is so good to me, has texted me reassuringly many a morning.)

This break, while still busy up to this point, has been good. Not having to rush out the door or away from each other. Not having to get to skating, or swimming, or meetings. I wish we had two weeks instead of only one.

My dad is here visiting for the first time in three years. I was looking forward to seeing him, but even more than that, having him spending some quality time with the kids, who barely remember him. Except he was bizarrely non-committal when I tried to make plans before his arrival. And his first day here he told me he wouldn't really be up for many outings because getting around has become quite hard for him, which I can see, but still am disappointed about. And now he is sick and mostly just seems to want to sleep. And in a few days the kids will be back in school and then he'll be returning home and I don't know when we'll see him again. There is more to this --his wife is very sick, I worry about her and what he would do without her, yet it is hard to talk about what his plans for the future are without seeming morbid or like I am overstepping.

And since that sort of came out of nowhere, I'll jump in and briefly address other family conflict. My sister and her husband welcomed their second child last month. With their first I was there. (I believe) supportive during the pregnancy, labour, and months and years after that. I am fairly certain I knew that my sister was pregnant with this child before she had made any announcements, because sometimes one just knows and eventually that knowing is confirmed. I knew it was a girl before she'd said anything about that too. But we haven't talked in nearly a year and a half and while that's been a very, very good thing overall for myself and my family, I still feel disappointment that I haven't been able to be there for this little one. So complicated.

And, back to the theme of being busy, I don't think I've mentioned that I have started working for the kids' school. I'm supervising lunch and recess for an hour and a bit each day. It sounds like nothing, but it actually has changed my days in a noticeable way. That said, it's only been a few weeks and I'm still adjusting my routines. And, I should also note that I am enjoying it. It's not teaching, but I love being with kids and talking to them and I am cautiously hopefully that being a board employee might somehow positively impact my ability to be hired into a teaching position at the board. Probably wishful thinking, but at this point even the tiniest possibility that I may have gained some sort of advantage in getting hired is something to feel celebratory about.

In addition to school pick ups and lunches and drop offs I've been doing a lot of work with the School Council and have been appointed the "point person" for the new playground they're hoping to put in for the kindergarten students. I've been doing lots of research into outdoor classrooms and the benefits nature play (which I love, love, LOVE) and also into grant writing and landscape architecture and all sorts of other related avenues, which is very interesting, but utterly exhausting.

And with those little bits and bobs, I should probably head off to bed. It's become tomorrow and the morning will come too soon.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry your dad's visit was disappointing. :(

    I'm also sorry to hear about how hard it is with knowing your sister had a second kid and you have no connection. I know that it is hard when family becomes estranged but I can imagine it is much harder when it is your twin.

    That's great that you've had some work at the school. Good luck with the playground. Our school received a Toyota outdoor classroom which was a bunch of rocks in a ring.