Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Bedtime Nightmare

It was five after nine when I left the kids' room tonight.  Their bedtime is seven thirty.  Eight o'clock is more realistic, if we're being honest.  But maybe not that realistic given past several nights.

I don't really know quite what to say.  Bedtime has definitely become my  least favourite time of the day, which is sad, because anymore it's the main time that I have to spend "quality time" with the kids.  Instead of enjoy baths and stories, I spend those many of those moments dreading (I know that's a strong word, but anxiously anticipating doesn't quite cut it) lights out.

Sometime in the past week or two Sprout figured out how to escape her crib.  In a sleep sack.  First we lost the sleep sack, a few days later we lost the side of the crib.  Unlike her brother, who was a dream when it came to bedtime and would lie in his toddler bed and wait to fall asleep and then call out to ask us if we could come get him out when he woke up, Sprout is awful.  She nurses demanding to switch sides ever other minute until I can't bear the thought of any more on and off and tell her no more.  Then she jumps in the bed.  She climbs down and runs over to the door, or the bookshelf, or toys, or her brother.  She  goads him into laughing.  Basically she does everything but lie down in the bed.  The only thing that has worked has been physically holding her in a tight hug while she screams and cries and eventually drops off enough to lie her down.  But I can't leave then.  As soon as I move more than an inch away from her she wakes up and calls out "Mama!"  In fact, her favourite sleeping position once she is in that early stage of slumber is hugging my head.  After an hour or more of trying to get her to this point, you can imagine how carefully I try to escape her headlock.

And of course The Bean has now made it his mission to get her/keep her going.  He has started saying he has to go to the washroom every thirty seconds.  (Sprout freaks out whenever he leaves the room.)  When he is in bed he kicks his legs, throws toys around until we take them away, talks "to himself", etc.  Most nights I threaten him (this week with taking away Trick-or-Treating) until he quiets down.  On good nights, offering a reward for being quiet, like rocking him in the rocking chair after his sister falls asleep, works.  I can't remember the last time he had a good night.

Bedtime has become a complete nightmare.  I wish I could think of another way to do things, but I just can't. Every night I hope it will get better.  Every night it seems to get worse.

Tonight I am listening to Ani DiFranco's new album Allergic to Water.  I am taking time to write a blog post rather than preparing tomorrow's lessons (which I really should be doing).  I need a break.  Anyone want to come over and babysit for an evening?

10 comments:

  1. I would be happy to. With the understanding that there would be tears and not mine either ;)

    Hahahaha! Good luck!!!!

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  2. Oh my goodness. I feel exhausted just reading what you're going thru at bedtime!! Certainly just behavioral issues. I would call your pediatrician and see what he/she has to say. All I can tell you is this too shall pass. Toddlers are ridiculous, aren't they?!!? We have three sons and they were so easy at bedtime. Our four year old daughter has had her ups and downs. A lot of it is definitely our fault for letting her sleep in our bed a lot so that we could get a good night's sleep. Now she is in her own bed but still comes up to our room in the middle of the night. Girls are tough cookies!!! I hope things get better soon for you. xo

    ~ Wendy
    http://Crickleberrycottage.blogspot.com/

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  3. I'm so sorry. I totally understand what you're going through. I can say it gets better. Riley was never easy to put to bed and now at 7, she's the easiest. Jackson did the nursing switch side stuff and horsing around and after giving up nursing at 3.5 and aging, he isn't so bad to put to bed. He's still sucky and needs to snuggle into me to fall asleep most nights but he doesn't stay up too long. Now we have Quinn who is 3. He is a nightmare most nights and he was our most perfect sleeper. I think it's the age and phases they go through. And as someone trying to put 3 kids down in 2 of the bedrooms (they like to lie together), I know what a bitch it is to have them waking and disturbing each other. And the boys really egg each other on a lot which makes me so angry. I just wanted to say, I hear you and I am there with you. It will pass.

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  4. My guy, who is less than a month older than Sprout, is having terrible bed times too. He's still in his crib, but over the last few months it has gotten so bad that he now is in our bed every night. This weekend we are planning some tough love to try to get him back into his room. On the rare nights when we were able to do that, it sometimes took 2 hours. So I feel your pain, and I can't imagine dealing with two!

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  5. oof! I'm sorry you're living my bedtime nightmare. I do notice my tricky kids get even testier during transitions, and you're family is going through a big one. Hopefully daylight savings will act as a reset button for you. It sometimes does for us!

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  6. That sounds awful and stressful. Hopefully it's just a phase. Just keep being consistent so they know they're expected to be in bed. Bedtime is the one thing we've always been no-nonsense about, and our kids don't even bother fighting it anymore (even when they do, it's a pretty short argument because they know they aren't going to get their way), but it's certainly harder when they're little. Maybe when one or the other is doing what they're supposed to, heap on the praise for what a good job they're doing. Or before bedtime, say something like, "I know you two are going to be such great listeners tonight and make me so proud of you." I do this in the mornings sometimes when it's time to get ready for school. It works like a charm in our house (especially with Ian), plus then the other kid wants to do the right thing and get praise too. Bribes and threats would also be in my bag of tricks, though. :)

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  7. Bedtime with Jude has been terrible too recently. He was ok in his toddler bed but then three weeks ago he got a full sized big boy bed. And of course he slept in it just fine for three nights so we got rid of the toddler bed only to have him freak out. We spent about two weeks with it taking two to three hours to get him to sleep in it only to have him wake up and get in our bed an hour or two later. In the last week we have started giving him 1mg of melatonin right before bed and that gets him to sleep in a more reasonable amount of time, though he still ends up in our bed a few hours alter. I battled with him for about four days where I refused to let him in our bed but it just resulted in tired and cranky momma and kid. Good luck, you are NOT alone!

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  8. Oh my gosh this sounds absolutely horrible, you poor thing. I hope this is a very short-lived phase, and bedtime gets a bit easier in your house very soon. Evelyn falls asleep pretty easily each night. It's getting her to STAY asleep, and not wake up at 4 or 5 am for the day, that is a huge battle for me. A battle I never win, by the way. Toddlers are so hard.

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  9. We recently went through this same situation with our triplets. I noticed a children's sleep aid at the drug store one day & picked it up, it was just 1mg tabs of melatonin. I had been discussing the issue with our pediatrician since it started & months later there was no change so I aid her opinion on the melatonin. She was good with it :)
    I give each of our boys 1 chewable tablet 1 hour before bed. One of our boys asks to go to bed 30-45 minutes later & th other

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  10. Ipad froze up :/

    Anyways, the other 2 boys go down at regular bedtime without any fuss & are asleep in minutes. They still wake up in the wee hours of the morning but usually go right back to sleep either in our bed or with one of us in their bed

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