Four and a Half

Sorry to those of you who got the "draft" update.  Stupid Blogger.  Not only ate my post, but posted a draft.  *Grumble*  Please pretend you didn't see that and enjoy this rewritten version.

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...and now we are the parents of a four and a half year old!

The Bean at four and a half is a kid with big ideas and strong opinions who does not like to be told what to do.  He is active and playful and articulate and loving.  Being his parent is a joy and a challenge.  

There is no doubt that language continues to be an area of strength for The Bean.  He is incredibly articulate and has quite a sophisticated vocabulary.  He loves playing with new words.  He also loves making up words, telling us what they mean, and using them in conversation.  

Recently he has started reading, which is just amazing. He's got a good number of sight words (Dolch) and can figure out most CVC words which means that beginning readers are the perfect level for him right now.  Surprisingly, he also seems to be reading some longer/more obscure words. I'm not sure if he's actually reading or just figuring out what things say given the context.  The word "office" comes to mind (a Microsoft Office ad on the computer).  I can't think of others, but it happens fairly frequently.  

Of course, he continues to love books.  He'll happily sit and listen to someone read for as long as they're willing to read to him.  He's also quite content to sit and browse through books on his own.  Journey and Quest have are wordless picture books that have become fast favourites.  He also loves the eeBoo storytelling cards that we picked up for him and Sprout.  Jen is really good at "playing" these with him.

He is very social. He will strike up a conversation with just about anyone. He always has something he wants to share or discuss. He can be a little shy around people he doesn't know, but it doesn't usually take him long to warm up. He's started to take a real interest in his friends and often asks about them and wants us to make plans to get together, whereas before we initiated most of the meet-ups. He seems to gravitate towards older children and girls. It's particularly infatuated with a former student of mine who we've become family friends with. If you ask him who he loves, he always names her first. I should mention that she's nearly three times his age, lives in Chicago and he last saw her in April. *Sigh* I have a feeling this will be the first in a long line of crushes.  

In addition to liking girls, he has been saying fairly consistently for the past six months or so that he wants to be a girl. We're not really sure what to make of it. When we ask him why, he says that "girls are cool" and that he doesn't like being the only one who is different in our family.  We assure him that plenty of boys are cool too, and that we are all different from each other and what makes him different makes him special to us, but that we love him no matter what. He's worn "girl clothes" out a few times and has been pretty instant about growing his hair long like Rapunzel's.  (He wants to be able to stand on the balcony and let it down so our guests can climb up it.) We're trying to be respectful of his wishes and provide guidance. 

He loves pretend play and dressing up. His knight costume is a favourite, especially the sword. Captain America also gets a lot of wear. The biggest pretend play games are "babies" and "school" ...and sometimes "babies go to school." This type of imaginative play definitely wins out over any toys. There really aren't many toys he's very interested in.  Magnatiles got a good bit of attention for a while, but he even seems to be taking a break from those recently. If couch cushions count as toys, those might be his favourite.   

He's incredibly active. His climbing is just crazy. The way he manipulates his body is amazing to watch and he really seems fearless with regards to heights. He also loves to spin, jump, slide, run, splash and ride his bike and scooter. He's becoming much more confident in the water and will submerge his head (briefly) again. He can handle his two-wheeler (with training wheels) quite well. We've been spending lots of time at parks, splash pads and pools. He's been asking to go back to gymnastics, so I'm hoping to get him into a program again this fall.  

He loves music. Recently I've been blown away by his ability to remember both tunes and lyrics to new songs. He's been singing a lot and requests particular CDs to sing along and dance to. His current favourite is his "Welcome to Kindergarten" CD.  

He is SO pumped to be going to school in the fall.  I think he's going to love it. He's completely ready socially and I think the academics will be great for him too.  He's very curious about a number of things -language and geography standing out among them. His fine motor skills are low, pencil grip and penmanship in particular. He can write his name and draw stick people and other basic things, but doesn't seem to have much of an interest in art (though we've noticed he likes to paint objects rather than paper) and has to be encouraged to do any type of writing.  He does enjoy mazes and some kindergarten activity books.  

We're going to have to work on establishing a morning routine. While he loves being out, getting him out the door can be a challenge. He doesn't like having to get dressed or brush his teeth. He also just likes to lounge around and play. He'll get ready quickly when motivated by a fun activity or people he wants to see, but I imagine once the novelty of going to school wears off that we're going to have a bit of a challenge.  

I also anticipate that he's going to miss Sprout. They've become quite close. They get along well about 90% of the time.  The other 10% Sprout doesn't do what The Bean is telling her to and he gets upset. It is the sweetest thing to watch him "look out" for her, though we've noticed that he seems to feel responsible for her and seems to have some anxiety about that in certain situations, so we've been trying to reassure him that Mama and Mommy (or another adult we trust when we're not around) will take care of Sprout and that he doesn't have to worry.  

We've been trying to work on difficult behaviour.  Being bossy. Getting upset when things don't go his way. Being defiant. Blaming others. He's halfway to giving up naps, and he's definitely more difficult the afternoons when he hasn't slept. We also notice a difference when his stomach is bothering him. Difficult behaviours are best managed with lots of one-on-one attention and very calm and patient responses. It's hard sometimes though. Except for the rare occasion we've cut out all TV, movies, tablet and phone. It was becoming a battle every time it was time to turn the device off and just not worthwhile.   

He's still having tummy troubles.  Going completely off dairy has certainly helped and he is doing much better when we're giving him his daily fibre supplement (which we've been bad about since summer began)  I still feel like there's something more going on.  I think we may have him go through full allergy testing. At this point I just want to know what's going on and solve the problems once and for all.  

Despite the  digestive issues, he has been growing.  That said, he is still a peanut.  He's about 40.5in and 33 or 34lbs. He's moving into some 4T clothes, but mostly for length. He can still wear 18m shorts! Made-to-fit pants are a lifesaver. If given a choice, he would wear PJs all day, everyday.  "Zips" (fleece one piece jammies) are his favourite. Even in the 100 degree humidity we've been having. Aside from PJs he goes for cozy sweat pants and superhero t-shirts.   

He's picky about food but will try new things. He eats a lot of cereal and bread.  Nuts are also a favourite. He's so-so with fruits and veggies, meaning that he sticks to the ones he likes. We always swore we wouldn't make a separate meal for the kids, but: Famous Last Words. Otherwise we'd be eating a lot of chicken fingers and macaroni and cheese.

The past (four years and) six months have definitely been busy. There's been a lot of change in our lives and a lot to navigate with those changes. The Bean is a more sensitive kid than I sometimes realize and he definitely wears his heart on his sleeve. As always he's teaching me how to be a better Mama. How to listen and watch and have patience and be gentle but also how to live in the moment and not take things too seriously and smile more and love openly. This kid. My heart. 

SBL #2 and #4

First update for the The Two Moms to Be Summer Bucket List for 2015!

We've knocked two items off our list!  Last week we had a mid-week holiday for Canada Day (July 1st), so we decided to take the kids to the beach.  There's a little beach in the city that I hadn't been to for years and thought might be a nice place to check out.  Unfortunately there was quite a bit of litter, including broken glass, so it's probably not somewhere we'll be rushing back to, but still, I'm glad we visited.  It was a cool day and the water quality at this beach is spotty, so we didn't bring our suits, but that didn't stop The Bean and Sprout from wading in.

 Monday I took the kids out of the city to a nicer beach. It was also a warmer day, so better beach weather. And my mom joined us, which made the kiddos (well, all of us, really) quite happy.  

We didn't collect rocks (see SBL #10) on either of our beach trip, so I guess we're either going to have to go back to one of the two we visited or check out a third!  Good thing summer is far from being over.  


UPDATED: The Two Moms to Be Summer Bucket List for 2015

1. Check out new parks and go back to old favourites.

2. Swim in Lake Ontario. 

3. Visit animals at the zoo.

4. Spend time in nature. Look for new "nature spots" in the city.

5. Donate books to the book bank.

6. Smell flowers at botanical gardens.

7. Go to the Toronto Islands.

8. Make popsicles.

9. Meet up with local bloggers.

10. Paint rocks that we find at the beach.

11. Go to a fair.  

12. Take a moms-only trip. 

13. Eat things that we have grown and/or picked ourselves.

Two and a Half

Our baby girl is two and half years old today. 

Fortunately for all of us she more adorable and sweet than she is frustrating in her two-and-a-halfness.

She has become quite a little chatterbox.  Her speech can be difficult to understand, but that doesn't stop her.  She likes talking to people, but will happily carry on one-sided conversations with her babies and stuffed toys or just chatter away to herself.  She also likes to sing.  

She walks, gallops, runs, and hops everywhere.  She also likes being carried up the three flights of stairs to our apartment.  If I explain that my arms are full she asks me to come back to her, often telling me that "[her] wegs are bo-ken."

Though not the most adventurous physically, she does love to climb.  She's pretty good at it too.  

I don't know how it happened, but we have a girly girl.  Her favourite colours are pink, purple and gray ("gay"). She loves to wear skirts, or better yet, two skirts layered one over the other.  Her dress-up  persona is a "ballewina pincess" who has a tutu, magic wand, and does little other than twirling and turning the people around her into kitty cats.  

She also loves to pretend to be Melissa (McClelland) from the band Whitehorse, married to The Bean's favourite musician, Luke Doucet. This mostly involves her stuffing a blanket under her shirt (their baby), going backstage (the kitchen) or "frontstage" (the living room) and talking to Luke (me) or playing instruments (whatever she digs out of our instrument basket). The Bean also likes to be Melissa when we play this game.

While she likes to play with people, she is usually quite content playing independently for periods of time. This floors me and Jen as it is something The Bean just does not do. She will draw, do Play-Doh, read books, do puzzles, play with stuffed animals, etc. 

She loves arts and crafts. Again, something The Bean isn't really into.  She'll often request to colour, paint or do Play-Doh.

  

We sometimes call her "Ms. Independent" for the obvious reason that she likes to do things herself. Not everything, mind you, but if she has her mind made up about something... She's quite a stubborn little thing.

Along those lines it should be noted that she is very nearly potty trained. She wears underwear when she is awake and can "hold it" for several hours. I can't remember the last time we had to change a dirty diaper. We do bring a travel potty and a change of clothes with us most places, the former which we use fairly often, which means the later hasn't been necessary. The down side is that she uses having to go to the potty as a major stall tactic at bedtime. Can't win them all, I guess. 

Her favourite books right now seem to be the Angelina Ballerina books and Dora books we have. She LOVES being read to and will snuggle right in for story time.

She is a pretty snuggly kid, overall. She's very, very clingy attached to me. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I'm primarily at home and that she still nurses 2-4 times a day (wake up, before/after nap when I'm around, and before bed). She "loooves nursing!" but tells me she will stop when she's 26.  Um. Yeah.  

Her best friend is clearly her brother. She goes along with 90% of his plans and is pretty much his shadow. She also really seems to like hanging out with my cousin's son who is seven months younger than her. She adores her Grandma too. Oh, and my cousin Paul. 

  

She still isn't big on breakfast, but overall eats decently well.  She's fussy about mean and won't eat chicken breast or pork chops, but will eat chicken fingers, hot dogs and sausages. Most grain-based foods are fine and she eats enough of a variety of fruits and vegetables that we're not overly concerned about her diet.  

She's a big kid. She's in size 2T and sometimes 3T and now wears size 7 shoes. I frequently get asked if she and The Bean are twins (though she is still quite a bit shorter than he is).

And finally sleep.  This is the one area I wish were significantly different.  I can't figure her out.  I feel like she should be getting much more sleep than she does, but it's a nightly battle.  Bedtime is 7:30pm, but she nurses until about 8pm and then usually doesn't fall asleep until 9 or sometimes even 10pm and is usually awake and coming into our room by 5:30am to nurse.  It's brutal.  She naps from about 1:00-2:30pm most days.  I don't know if she is overtired or overslept or what, but I am hoping something changes.

 A few more pictures of the little monkey from the past few months: 

 

  

Summer Bucket List 2015

I thought I'd be able to post this on the first day of summer, but go figure, the longest day went rather quickly. 

So, a day late, here it is: 

The Two Moms to Be Summer Bucket List for 2015

1. Check out new parks and go back to old favourites.

2. Swim in Lake Ontario. 

3. Visit animals at the zoo.

4. Spend time in nature. Look for new "nature spots" in the city.

5. Donate books to the book bank.

6. Smell flowers at botanical gardens.

7. Go to the Toronto Islands.

8. Make popsicles.

9. Meet up with local bloggers.

10. Paint rocks that we find at the beach.

11. Go to a fair.  

12. Take a moms-only trip. 

13. Eat things that we have grown and/or picked ourselves.

I can think of more things we would like to do, but this keeps it at an average of one thing a week, which seems completely doable.

And since people have been posting goals to, here are ours:

1) The Bean: Practice writing, reading and basic addition. 

2) Sprout: Ditch daytime diapers. (This is a bit of a cheat, since she's pretty much ditched them already.)  

3) Mama: Read. Crochet. Take photos. Organize photos.

...and Mommy is sleeping, so I'll have to get her goal in the morning.  

I think it's going to be a great summer!  

Endings (and Beginnings)

It's closing in on midnight as I'm writing this, which is to say, I should be going to bed, but I'm feeling unsettled and thought coming here might help me  process things a bit.

The school year is wrapping up. The students are now finished and it's just paperwork and cleaning up the classroom. I had hoped to finish my report cards by tonight, but that's still a pretty far way off from happening. Oh, how I hate writing report cards. There's never enough space to say anything really significant so I agonize over what to include and how to phrase it. I wonder if the parents even notice. 

I was unable to make it to the closing ceremonies, which felt a bit odd. I said my goodbyes to the students the day before and also goodbyes and thank yous to the parents who I saw. Everyone was kind, saying what a wonderful year it had been and thanking me for the work I did with their children. 

I haven't said much about it, but things weren't going very well with my sister being here with the kids during the day and we now have another care provider. I wanted things to work out with my sister because: sister. But they just weren't. We were very lucky that we were able to find someone else on very short notice and just for this brief period as I wrap up work. It's been going well. The communication isn't the greatest as she is not a native English speaker, but the kids settled into the new routine without missing a beat and actually seem more settled now than they had been. I feel like they must have been picking up on the tension of the situation before. As a bonus, Jen and I might have a new person we can call on for evening babysitting.  

I am still feeling ambivalent about not having work lined up for the fall. I am, however, looking forward to the summer. Things have been piling up in neglected little piles all over the apartment. Mending. Photo albums (and baby books!) to complete. Enough tiny clothing and plastic toys to warrant a garage sale, though the thought of organizing one is a bit overwhelming at this point. And of course, time with the kids to look forward to. I have been compiling a large list of possible activities and outings. Summer Bucket List post is in the works. ;) 

As for tomorrow, I'm hoping to make it to the lake. I haven't been to the beach for ages, but I've been feeling a pull to go. I feel like I need grounding right now and walking on the sand, looking for pebbles washed smooth and listening to the waves just might do the trick. 

On Not Having to Make a Decision

Last Friday I arrived at work to an email from my VP (who is the Acting Principal, as the Principal is on sick leave) asking me to come in to speak to her when I had a chance.

Earlier that week there had been a minor incident with a child bumping his arm in P.E., which the parents were making into a Very Big Deal, and I was quite concerned that they were going to sue.  Needless to say, I was a bit anxious walking into her office.

She asked me to sit and close the door, and then let me know that unfortunately they wouldn't' be able to offer me a contract for September.  I was relieved that it wasn't about the bumped arm, but both surprised and not surprised about the job.  I knew that enrollment for the fall was way down and hadn't been expecting an offer, except for the fact that the VP had asked me a week or two prior if I'd consider teaching full time.  

I let her know that I understood and thanked her for letting me know.  She was really quite apologetic about the whole thing and very kind in saying how much professional respect she has for me, which I appreciated.  And while I certainly felt nothing like when I was let go from my previous position, I was still a bit disappointed... which surprised me.  I guess it never feels good to lose your job, even if it's a job you're a bit on the fence about.

Jen and I had been discussing the fall and all of the potential situations.  Though things were up in the air, we were operating under the assumption I'd be asked back, at least on a part-time basis.  We had just dropped off registration forms for the kids to go to the daycare in what will be The Bean's school and had been discussing whether it'd be worthwhile for me to work part-time, since after paying for daycare I'd really only be bringing home a few hundred dollars a month. The thing is, I love teaching.  When I'm not teaching I miss it. A lot. I feel depressed. Part-time would have been good as it would have allowed me some time with the kids, but also the fulfillment of working.  And a few hundred dollars extra a month is still a few hundred dollars extra a month.  Full time would have had the benefit of more money, but I was a bit anxious about never being able to touch base with The Bean's teacher and having Sprout away from us all day. And not working, well, it will be tight financially (hopefully I'll qualify for some E.I. for the first little bit at least) and I will miss working, but I will have this time with the kids.  I'll be able to drop off and pick up The Bean from school.  Maybe even bring him home for lunches.  And volunteer in his classroom.  I'll be able to take Sprout to programs and parks and enjoy another year with her before she starts Junior Kindergarten.  So there are certainly positives.  But it's still hard.  

:/

Mother's Day

Mother's Day (or, more accurately, Mothers' Day) is a day that Jen and I have mutually agreed upon not recognizing for the most part.  The Bean was old enough to understand that it was a special day for us and wished us each a happy day and gave us some extra hugs and kisses, but aside from that things were fairly routine. We took my mom out for brunch and then came home for naps, spring cleaning/organizing) and some outdoor play.

Both kids are fighting a nasty cold. The Bean got it first and we thought it was seasonal allergies, but since Sprout has since developed the same runny nose and wet cough, we're thinking sick. Still, since they're kids they've been fairly unphased by it. A bit more clingy. Maybe more irritable... but maybe that's just me. They've still be doing all their regular things, quite happy now that the weather is good enough to be spending a good chunk of the day outdoors. It makes me happy too. They've been mucking about in our front garden (dirt), running through the sprinkler, riding bikes and scooters and playing all sorts of games.

This may be the most  true-to-life photo I've been able to take of Sprout's eye and hair colour.

Things are still incredibly busy. Jen starts her new job tomorrow. I am excited for her. We still are unsure about what next year will bring for me and the kids.

I got two date nights this week.  Jen and I went to see Death Cab for Cutie on Thursday night. It was an awesome show. Their songs have the most beautiful lyrics. Then, on Friday, I took The Bean to see a long time favourite of his, Whitehorse (or, more specifically, Luke Doucet). A short story...

The Bean's favourite song by Luke Doucet is Long Haul driver. At barely three he could sing the entire thing and often requested it be played on a loop. So, when I saw Whitehorse was playing, I bought two tickets. Totally anticipating the show, he asked my sister to help make him a sign on Friday. It read: "Please play Long Haul Driver" and had a picture of a truck that he had drawn. Honestly, I was embarrassed by the sign and hoped that he would forget about it, but, of course, he didn't.  I told him he had to carry it was his responsibility so he dutifully carried it the entire way downtown, proudly holding it up as he marched towards the venue. I made him pause to take a photo with the sign for Massey Hall in the background. (I will try to get it off my phone and post it here.) As we were walking into the venue a lady stopped me and asked if she could take a photo of The Bean with his sign. I hesitated. She noticed and quickly explained, "I'm Luke's sister, Sarah. I'd love to show this to him." I agreed! She tried to make some chit-chat asking The Bean his name and how old he was. He answered, and then said, "Sorry, but we're in a big hurry to get inside and see Luke Doucet." Haha. So, we went, listened to the opener and then the Whitehorse set. The Bean was awesome and really enjoyed the performances. He was getting tired, but I told him if we left he wouldn't get to see Long Haul Driver (at that point hoping that they would play it and knowing that I would have a very disappointed little boy if they did not). They left the stage and I explained to him about the encore. After they came back out they played a song and then did a little bit of chatting. Then, Luke says, "Is [The Bean] still here?" I don't know that he registered what was happening, but I loudly shouted out "YEAH!" All eyes turned on us. Luke then went on to explain that his sister had taken a photo of a boy on the way in holding a sign requesting a song. A song that they haven't played live in nearly four years. He apologized in advance for any mistakes they might make, but said they were going to do their best to honor the request and then broke out into the opening riff. The Bean's eyes just lit up and he got the sweetest little smile on his face. He stood and and watched the entire song completely mesmerized. I wish that Luke could have seen his face. The Bean's day year was made.

LOL. Well, that was much longer than I intended and not really the point of this post, but I'm sure it's a story I will be asked to repeat many times as per The Bean's current habit of asking for us to tell him stories, so it doesn't hurt to have it all written out.

Anyway, wishing the mothers and mothers-to-be an especially special day.

What Will Be, Will Be

The longer I'm away from this space the harder it is to return.  It hasn't been wholly intentional.  Time has been a huge factor lately, to be sure.  In fact, I should be working on work right now, but am feeling a bit unsettled and so ended up here... I've also been feeling a bit more aware of who may be reading.  There are things I've thought about posting about but won't not knowing who may see it.  I've also been thinking about what The Bean and Bug (testing this out as a new blog name that I've been considering for quite a while, as it is what we call her at least 60% of the time IRL) may think of this in five, ten, twenty years.  I don't think I've over-shared to an extent where they would feel uncomfortable with what is "out there," but I can't say that definitively.  Of course, this includes images as well as words.  My beautiful children.  How could I not want to share those faces with the world, but then, back to who may be seeing it...

Having been away, it's hard to know where to begin.  We're a few months off from the half-year updates on each of the kids, but I feel like there have been so many changes with them since their birthdays.  It's a constant wonder watching these two learn and grow.  We have no more babies in our home.  Bug will very specifically tell you that she is a little ("widdle") girl.  And The Bean, while petite, is not little at all.  His face is changing.  The way he speaks in changing.  His thought processes are changing.  

They are both at pretty great stages right now.  Sure, there is stubbornness and defiance, but moreover there are questions and cuddles and adventures to be had.  Also, the sibling love.  Oh, there is nothing better than to see these two small people grab each other in a big bear hug or listen to them have a conversation.

Right now things are in flux.  Jen starts a new job in two weeks.  She wasn't really looking, but the opportunity presented itself and there it was.  We both think it will be a good change.  But we're both somewhat change-adverse so there is an element of tension in the not knowing exactly what it will be like.  I am also looking for work.  There are so, so few opportunities.  I would be very happy to find something, but I honestly think I would also be okay if I didn't get anything for the fall.  (But only for the one year while they're not yet both in school.)  I miss the kids.  Having someone else watch them, even if that someone else is family and loves them to bits, is hard.  Having the days with Bug and not having to worry about childcare would be nice.  It'd also be nice to be able to pick up The Bean at 3:30pm and still have the afternoon with him.  Let the kids have that time together.  Go to parks or paint or bake cookies, instead of rushing home to make dinner and give baths and tuck into bed.  ...but maybe I'm really just psyching myself up for not getting a job.  Finding the silver lining of that situation.  The silver lining does seem pretty sparkly though.  In any case, what will be will be.

Beyond that I'm not really sure what else to say at the moment.  Maybe another update soon... there are some thoughts bumping around in my brain that I would probably benefit from getting down in print.  And, of course, some pretty cute photos to share.