Mid-November

Somehow the fall has passed me by. Technically I know that's not true, but there are more leaves on the ground than on the trees and we had our first snowfall last week, so never mind what the calendar says,  it feels like winter has started.

With it came our first illnesses of the season. The Bug vomited in bed a week ago Friday and we've been dealing with all sorts of bodily fluids since then, because of course, just about the time she was starting to feel better the school called to let me know The Bean was feeling sick. I'm completely run down. I've been trying to push through it during the days, but by the evenings even talking is taking the wind out of me and sleep is interrupted by coughing fits throughout the night. I just hope I'm doing better by the time it hits Jen, because despite all the oregano oil she's downing every morning, she's probably next.

I think I owe this blog a summer bucket list update, but summer seems so long ago. I will likely just leave it at that we didn't complete our entire list, but we had a good summer. We were outside a lot. We visited family and friends. We swam and hiked and played and read and chilled and ate about a bazillion popsicles. Just what summers should be.

The kids started back to school without any issues. The Bean was so ready for Grade One. His teacher is a little more no-nonsense than last year's, but that's okay for him. He's been happy to be able to do "Kilometer Club" at recess and participate in some of the activities kindergarteners are excluded from. He's been acing his spelling tests every week. With the exception of a girl in his class who seems to enjoy annoying him, he doesn't have any complaints about school. Buggy is also doing well. She seems more confident than she was last year. I worry a little about her academic skills, but I have been reminding myself that had she been born a week later she'd be a grade below where she is. She's funny and clever and very sweet and has a wickedly good memory, she just doesn't read yet. I'm sure she'll get there. It's hard not to compare. Parent/Teacher interviews are on Thursday night. We'll get the official school updates then.

Speaking of the school, I took on the role of School Council Chair this year. There wasn't anyone who wanted to step forward, so I thought since I'm already there so often and pretty involved already it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Silly me. (Though, to be fair, I was a little mislead by the previous chair, who assured me it was only "an hour or two" of work a week. More like and hour or two a day...) Anyway, all that to say my free time has been a lot less free, keeping up on emails, and insurance documents, and fundraising plans, etc. etc. I keep thinking things will  settle down, but I at this point I'm starting to realize that's probably wishful thinking.

So, anyway, here we are. Well past summer. Winter and all the holiday and birthday craziness just around the corner. I'm working on wish lists and party planning, and thinking about what to pack when we go down for Thanksgiving next week and what we'll wear for our annual family photos. Things don't ever seem to slow down. But, sickness aside, everything is good. We have a week of vacation to look forward to. We have an almost-five-year old who is obsessed with unicorns and mermaids, likes conducting science experiments, and still snuggles me every morning, and an almost-seven-year old who loves tech-y gadgets, soccer and is a voracious reader. My wife wakes up at 5:30am every day so she can do professional reading, bikes to work in the most colourful bike gear in all of uptown, and despite me not taking complements well, is incredibly sweet and doting and helpful. I have amazing friends. I'm enjoying tutoring and working over lunches at the school. I've got a few good books stacked on my night table. Life is pretty good right now. 

The Bean is Six and Half!

Today The Bean is six and a half... actually, that's not entirely true. It's been a little over a month since he reached that "milestone" age, but summer equals busy and I'm only just now finding the time to sit down and write his update. Don't worry folks, we'll pay for his therapy.

What an interesting age this is. The Bean certainly isn't a "little kid" anymore, but he's not quite a "big kid" either. While he very much wants to be a part of grown up conversations and have all kinds of independence, he still loves to pretend play with his sister, is afraid of being alone, and loves getting snuggles.

This may sound a bit funny, but he seems to be speaking in a more mature way lately. I think a lot has to do with all the reading he does, because he has been trying out new words and phrases fairly regularly. Sometimes he gets them in the right context, other times not so much. It catches me off guard. I guess it's just not something I really expect. It is pretty neat to see him try to figure out. It also surprises me in that I would definitely hesitate to try out a new word with other people, but he is so willing to take the risk. I'm not sure if that's personality, something that has been fostered, or what.

While he can be shy at times, particularly around new people, overall he is outgoing and confident. He's still on the small side, but rarely hesitates to approach older kids and ask them if he can join in. He wears his heart on his sleeve and you can see his shoulders slump when he is rejected. Occasionally he needs reminders of how it makes him feel to be told he's "too small," but overall he does well with younger kids too. He adores babies.

He LOVES be outside. I think he would live outside if we let him. He and I did a "Nature Nuts" program at the Brickworks over the winter. I didn't think it was very well organized, but he loved getting out on adventures. He hikes, runs, bikes, scoots, skateboards, skates, climbs, swims... The summer has been pretty fabulous for all of that. Second to being active, he probably enjoys reading the most. Okay. Not entirely true. iPad or other tablets might rank as #2, or maybe even #1, but they're almost exclusively reserved for short periods over the weekends. He also really likes TV. But again: his access is limited. He's become a lot more interested in playing games. Uno and Old Maid have been in high rotation this summer. He's very competitive.

We have been so busy over the past few months. The end of the school year was a whirlwind with lessons, and playing at the park after school and visiting friends, but the summer has also been busy. We've taken a break from all scheduled programs, but will likely go back to piano, swimming and gymnastics in the fall. The Bean wants to do everything. Jen and I have talked about putting him in dance or acting, because he seems to enjoy both, but he's been talking more about learning to play drums and basketball. I think our neighbours might find a way of getting us evicted if we bought him a drum set, and we'll see what happens with the basketball...

On top of being active, he's also pretty fearless. He has no reservations about climbing to the top of the tallest trees and jumping from their branches back down to the ground. He loves to go fast. He got to ride go carts for the first time this summer and thought they were pretty much the best thing ever along with the roller coasters he was able to ride on at various amusement parks. I can totally see him getting into some sort of extreme sport.

Health wise he's been good. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned what we found out about his belly issues. The gastroenterologist we've been going to hasn't been super helpful. After reading some research, we decided to take him off Restorolax, and if anything I'd say we've seen a positive improvement both with his digestive issues and with his temperament. We tried to have him tested for Celiac, but it turns out he actually lacks the protein that is used to check for it. Then, again after doing some research, I found out that the vast majority of people who lack this protein are allergic to dairy, which we strongly suspect is The Bean's #1 issue. Anyway, we may have him tested for other allergies, but it's not a huge priority right now as things mostly seem to be under control.

His teeth have been an ongoing issue. He lost his first tooth in the spring, which was pretty exciting with the tooth fairy coming to visit and all. His second tooth fell out shortly after. We were happy that they came out as the new ones were already growing in behind the baby teeth. The top two were wobbly for a while and both fell out, again within days of each other, at the end of the school year. Meanwhile his six year molars erupted and when we went for a dentist appointment last month they were already showing signs of decay. The dentist assured us that we're doing a good job looking after his teeth, but that probably because of deficiencies or an illness during their developmen, he has what appears to be very weak enamel and is prone to cavities. Poor kid. He got his eighth filling shortly after that appointment.

He eats well. He seems to like what he likes, and NOT like what he doesn't like. He isn't super into trying new foods, and often will say "Yuck!" before it's even touched his tongue, only to say after another few seconds that actually he does like it. Lately he's been eating a ton which makes me suspect he's about to have another growth spurt. He would be happy to survive on carbs and ketchup.

He's currently about 44/45 inches tall and about 44/45lbs. We just got him new running shoes for school and they are a size 13. They're just a smidge big, but I'm hoping they will last into the new year. In clothing he's anywhere between a 4 and a 6, but leaning towards the larger sizes. Bottoms are generally smaller so they don't fall off his tiny waist. If he had his way he would be either in underwear or pajamas 24/7.

We've been a bit off of our schedule, but generally speaking he goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:30pm and sleeps to about 6:30-7:30am. There were a few days earlier in the summer that he slept until after 9am. It was amazing!

I'm not really looking forward to getting us all back on a schedule for the start of the school year. The Bean is excited that he is going to be in Grade One. I feel like he's ready. Like I've said before, his reading is amazing. His comprehension is just a little behind his reading abilities, but still far beyond what would be expected at his age. His math abilities are average. Science and Social Sciences are probably average too. Gross motor skills are awesome and fine motor are probably right on track. He's able to reflect on his actions and does a pretty decent job with self-regulation, for the most part. I am slightly concerned about how influenced he can be by others, and hope that he'll behave appropriately (meaning with respect for others and with kindness). He's got a strong personality and is very sweet, but he also wants to fit in with the crowd, make people laugh, and get lots of attention.

A story: Back in April he and Sprout had been out drawing on the sidewalk with chalk. He had spent a long time working on the characters from P.J. Masks and Sprout, not really paying attention, drew over some of his work. He was so upset. He grabbed a white chalk and drew a big square around "his" area and went over to Sprout and said, "Sprout, do not draw in my area!" Later on I told him that I was impressed at how he handled the situation, knowing that he had been pretty upset. To which he says to me, "Self-Regulation, Mama." (He's also been known to coach me into taking a breath when I'm losing my temper with them.) Overall I'd say he's a pretty fantastic brother.

And on that note I am going to wrap this very overdue update up. I'm pretty sure this sweet child will be empathetic when he reads these later on and sees how behind I was. He keeps us on our toes and is such a great kid.

Kindergarten Kids

This post feels long overdue, but in a way not writing it until now might make it more relevant, having had the time to get settled into the routine of having both kids in kindergarten.

Can you believe it? BOTH our kids are in kindergarten.

Having turned five this calendar year, The Bean started Senior Kindergarten, and since she will be four before the year's end, Sprout started Junior Kindergarten. 23 months apart in age, but only one grade apart in school. And, since JK and SK kindergarten classes here are combined, we are the parents of both the oldest and youngest students in their class.

Sprout was (mostly) excited to be starting school. The Bean was playing it cool --asking why he couldn't be in Grade One since he'd already learned all the Kindergarten stuff last year.

This series of photos from the first day cracks me up. I gave them the props and asked them to stand against the wall, but the poses were just them doing their thing and they are so them.

Back in the spring, we requested that they be placed in the same class. It's something Jen and I spent a fair amount of time discussing. We agreed that we thought it would be best for both kids. Last year they both often said that they missed the other during the day. They get along most of the time, and while they like to be together, neither of them is reliant on the other.

It appears, so far, that things are working out the way that we had hoped. Aside from a few days with tears from Sprout in the second week of school, they both seem very happy this year. The teachers post photos on a private site during the day, and we can see that they're usually engaged individually, but will come together throughout the day. They seem to sit beside each other on the carpet fairly often and they've told us that they usually eat lunch together. The Bean helps Sprout open her containers and packages. <3 p="">
Our biggest concern with was that The Bean would try to micromanage Sprout, because, well, he does that from time to time, but it hasn't been an issue.

We're also happy that they both have the same teacher The Bean had last year. It's not that we don't like the other kindergarten teacher, but we know this teacher well and find her easy to communicate with. She seems to have a fairly relaxed approach and is playful with the kids. She also has two little boys of her own and seems to understand when I'm feeling a bit anxious, like on the first day, when texted her to check in on how the kids were doing.

Both kids have made several new friends and we've been enjoying spending time playing with them at the park after school. They also still see one of The Bean's best buddies from last year, who lives just down the street from us, fairly often. That little guy's mom and I get along quite well and we often have them over to play.

Sprout, in particular, is very tired at the end of the day and prone to tears (for one reason or another) when we're on our way home, but as I said, for the most part it's been a very positive experience for us all so far. Yay for Kindergarten!

And because I now have all this "free" time (not so much as I thought, as it turns out. Forgive me SAHMs who I have judged in the past!) I have taken on some volunteer work in the school. I sort of accidentally feel into the role of "Class Parent Coordinator" as well as Class Parent for the kids' class. In addition to that I am helping prepare food for the awesome snack program that the school runs and tomorrow I will be going in to talk to someone about joining the Volunteer Reading Program, helping kids who need a little extra one-on-one with their reading and literacy skills. Perhaps one day I'll write a little more about my days, but it's getting late and we're all at various stages of battling a fall cold, so I should probably head off to bed. There's no time to be sick!

Pneumonia, Pills and Parent/Teacher Interviews

So, somehow January is over and we're nearing the half-way mark of this shortest/longest month of the year.

I think winter has finally hit our part of the world. We've had a little bit of snow and some very cold days, with more in the forecast.

We've spent the better part of this week bunkered in. After being back and forth to the doctor for a bad cough several times, each time coming home with different medications to try out, The Bean was diagnosed with Pneumonia. He finished his antibiotics this morning and was back to school for just the one day this week as tomorrow is the first day of a four day weekend. Of course, now Sprout is coughing, but I'm hoping it doesn't develop into anything. She's also all but given up her mid-day nap, which is another thing all together, but to continue the theme from my last post: Tired Mama.

Thankfully before kid-sickness hit in full force I was able to get myself in for a few long-overdue doctor's appointments. One of those included a chat with my GP and the starting of some anti-depressants. It was time. I don't like the idea of them (for myself) and I resisted even considering them for so long, but the truth of it is that things have been getting worse rather than better. My mood has been impacting my interactions with both Jen and the kids in a negative way. Something needed to change. And, though it's only been a week, I feel like it's making a difference. I am so glad.

Tonight we had our first-ever parent/teacher interviews with The Bean's teachers. His report, which I only picked up this morning, was more or less what I expected. It's hard to read between the lines --the teachers mostly select comments from a drop-down menu so it doesn't say a whole lot and what it does say isn't neither very specific nor backed up by examples. Talking it through was good. We had requested the interview a while ago since he had been resisting going to school quite a bit before the break and we wanted to follow up on that. His teachers spent nearly 45 minutes with us, which is about three times what we were scheduled for. (They didn't have any interviews scheduled immediately following ours, so I guess they didn't feel rushed.) Most of what they had to say was about what a bright and social student he is, but they also seemed to have a pretty accurate insight into other things --his perfectionism and desire to please, his sense of social justice and his tendency to "police" others. We walked away with the feeling that they know our kid pretty well and are doing a good job supporting him. We also got some reassurance that they making efforts to challenge him academically despite him already meeting many of the curriculum expectations.

It's only 10:30pm, but it's been a long week. Tomorrow I will have both kids home again and with -20*C temperatures in the forecast I think it will be another long day spent indoors. I best rest up.

The Bean is Five Years Old!

Today The Bean is five years old!

FIVE. Can you believe it?

This kid. He has been trying to act very grown up lately, "practicing for when I am five", he says. I think he thinks it will make us happy and proud --he is very much a people pleaser-- and it does, but it also makes me want to squeeze him and kiss him all over and toss him up into the air and tickle him and read him a million books while he still enjoys it all.  

So, where to begin with our Bean? He really is a complex little person. The past few months have been kind of hard. There were some mixed emotions as he was about start school, and sadly he doesn't seem to be enjoying it as much as we had hoped he would. After the initial adjustment, he seemed happy. In October he was upset for a while because he wanted to be seen as a girl and he felt the other students weren't accepting of that. His teachers were very open and responsive though, and I felt like we had resolved things (meaning, he knew he could be whoever he wanted and the other students were seemingly understanding of that). Then in late November he got a cold, I kept him home for a half day, and after that he did not want to go back. As in crying at drop off many mornings a week, sulking, telling us he was sad/lonely/had a bad day at school etc. I talked to his teachers about it in passing before the break, but they assured me he seemed happy and engaged at school. It's been a bit of a mixed bag since school started up again last week, so I think we're going to ask for a meeting. As his pediatrician said at his well-check this week, he should be happy at school.

So, mood wise, I'd have to say he's been a bit glum, but not all the time. He still has many moments where he is happy and playful and full of giggles and jokes and jumping around. It's very hard as his parent to navigate this. While it's fine to feel sad, I would like to get to the root of it and make it more of an emotion that he only feels on occasion than something he's feeling on a regular basis.

Academically he seems to be doing very well. He comes home reciting many songs and rhymes he is learning at school. He LOOOOOVES visual art and his art teacher (though he is awfully hard on himself when his pictures don't turn out the way he would like). Phys. Ed. of course, is much enjoyed. He's counting to 100, doing some basic arithmetic. And his reading has taken off. I mean, shockingly so. I know he's among the eldest of the JKs, but even still, his ability is pretty remarkable. He can pretty much read any story book from our shelves. He stuggles with unfamiliar words and will still guess at things rather than really sound them out, but for a just-turned-five year old I'm thoroughly impressed. He is also showing an interest in writing and can often be found carrying around a notebook and pencil. He regularly proclaims his love of his teachers and several of his classmates, but does not see, to have a "best buddy" in the class.

For a while now he has been interested in distinguishing between "good" and "bad" (both people and behaviours). I get fairly regular reports over who in his class has misbehaved that day --fortunately he thrives on positive attention and tells me he is "never bad" at school. Before Christmas he became more concerned than we would have liked about whether his behaviour was "good" and what Santa would think. A bit heartbreaking when he would do something like spill a drink and ask right away whether Santa would be upset with him.

As I mentioned already, he is really a people pleaser which makes him pretty cooperative overall. He's been doing a lot that shows his growing independence --getting ready in the mornings, bathing himself and washing his own hair, wanting to help prepare snacks, tidying up after himself and his sister. He glows when given praise. It's a good thing, but we're also aware that it's something that could be taken advantage of. So far there haven't been any issues, but when he talks about friends telling him to do things, we're always a bit more alert than we might be if he weren't so eager to do what others ask/tell him to do.

Somewhat related, he is also very aware of other's expectations and preferences. He often refers to himself and Jen as the boys in the family and will occasionally call her dad. She never makes a big deal out of it, but one day asked why he never calls me dad. He told her it was because he didn't think I would like it if he did.

He loves girls. He especially loves older girls. If they're 10 or 11 and have long blonde hair, I would almost guarantee that he will be talking about them for days.

He's starting to ask more involved questions about why things are the way they are and how things work. He got some really interesting science kits and books along with a set of Magic School Bus DVDs for gifts recently, and I'm sure they'll spark more questions and investigations.

He loves rocket ships, robots and knights. He's just getting into more superheroes (his exposure is pretty limited). Board games are starting to be a semi-regularly requested activity --Camelot Jr. and Jenga are two recent favourites.

Mostly he loves being active. Skatergirl and Scootergirl continue to be two of his alter egos. He is always running, leaping, flipping... He zooms around on his bicycle, practices on his skateboard (doing all the coolest tricks in his mind, I am sure), and just got a very awesome scooter from his Grandma and Grandpa and a (kid's/intro) snowboard from my cousin and her son for his birthday. He took gymnastics lessons this fall which he will be continuing through the winter. While he is developing his skills, I have to say that his body awareness and control is pretty remarkable. He listens carefully to his coach's instructions and really does his best to do things the way they describe.

He still loves music. Living room dance parties have continued. Back in May I got to take him to his frist Whitehorse concert which he was just thrilled about. The lucky, lucky boy got a shout out from Luke Doucet during the encore and his requested song played, even though it was a song they haven't played live in nearly a decade. His new favourite band is Van Morrison. His favourite song: Gloria.

He still loves being read to and will choose tried-and-true favourites from the shelves before bed each night. He has recently shown an interest in the Magic Tree House series of books. We've read a couple and he got a few more for Christmas and Birthday gifts, so I imagine we'll be starting those soon. He and Sprout will pretend to be the characters from the story and go on adventures in our apartment.

He's really started experimenting with different phrases.  "Give me a break" "Get over it" "You're killing me" and  "I'm dead" are a few that come to mind. He also uses the phrase "You're sweating my paws!" which we're not really sure where he picked up but seems to mean he can't believe what you're saying.

Not much has changed for him in terms of his gastro health. We have had him off of dairy forever now, and it does seem to help, as does having him on a regular dose of fibre, but still there are issues. He does not have Celiac disease and we are not moving forward with a test for Crohns. We suspect he has IBS, as it runs in the family. It's a hard thing to diagnose, as it is really a diagnosis of exclusion. We go back for another specialist appointment in the spring.

His food preferences are about the same, but we're starting to insist that he take a few bites of the things Jen and I are having for dinner. He has a good appetite. He usually has two breakfasts -cereal, toast, cream of wheat, etc. I pack him a hardy lunch and it usually comes back about 3/4 eaten, though he's getting pickier about what he will eat at school. He eats his dinner (and a small dessert) nightly will follow it up with some cheese crackers and often a fruit. We wonder where he puts it all and fear for the teenage years!

He is currently in a growth spurt. He gets thicker looking in the trunk and then shoots up. He had his well check last week, but I forgot to ask for his stats. I know his somewhere in the 10th-25th percentile for both height and weight. A bit of a peanut. I think that's just him. He's consistently in size 4 tops now and moving into more size 4 pants because the 3s are just getting too short. He has tiny hands and feet. About the same size as Sprouts, who is nearly two years younger. His shoe size is a 7.5/8. Sometime mid-November he decided he wanted a haircut, so after months of growing it out he got a super-cute undercut, which we rarely style. Ha!

And while the past few months have had their difficult moments, when he is happy he just shines. The way his eyes light up and his smile radiates is contageous. While I am always happy to be his Mama, I can think of little that makes me feel happier than seeing him in these moments. I love him with my whole self. My baby.

It's Easier to Leave Than to be Left Behind

I knew that Sprout would miss The Bean when he started kindergarten. I didn't really realize how much she would miss him.

I've tried to have some fun activities planned with her. I've taken her to SkyZone (an indoor trampoline park), the Brickworks (an awesome nature preserve), the library and some really great parks around the city. Still, nearly everyday I get some variation of "Where's [The Bean]?", "I miss [The Bean]" and one time when we were driving home I heard the saddest little voice from the backseat of the car saying, "I'm ready to pick up [The Bean] from school now." Poor bug.

She's told me she doesn't have any friends, and when I list her friends she often asks me to call them so they can meet up with us. Sometimes it works out, but I do think she would rather have her brother around.

She actually cried when we dropped him off on the first day of school, sad that she wasn't going with him. I'm not sure why she had it in her head that she'd be going to kindergarten too, but she did. While she now understands that she won't be going to kindergarten until next fall, she often says, "But I can go to daycare." I think it's fair to say she doesn't like that she's been left behind.

At home she plays school. She asks me to write her notes for her lunchbox like I've been doing for her brother. I have to be the teacher and read her stories or direct her to different activities.

We're starting some programs in the next few weeks and I'm hoping that the routine and structure helps her out a bit. I'm also hoping that we make a few new friends for her. I think she'd like that.

It's been a bit bumpy, but The Bean seems to be adjusting well, overall. Day 2 was tougher than day one, and many mornings he will say that he doesn't want to go to school. However, he has made at least three new friends that he talks about often. The one friend even gave him a huge hug when I dropped him off one day last week. I liked seeing that. He won't give us a full run down of his days, but he is starting to sing some new songs and will give us little snippets of what's been going on over the course of the evening. He's usually pretty tired in the evenings and often a bit grumpy, I suspect because most days he hasn't been eating much of what I've packed. He can be impatient and snippy with Sprout, which makes me sad, because I know how much she misses him. Things seem to be getting better though. Hopefully by October we'll all have settled into a new routine and not be finding things quite so difficult.

First Day of Junior Kindergarten

Today The Bean started Junior Kindergarten.

I'm still a little bit in shock that our baby has started school. We've been saying for a while now that he is ready. And really, he is. Still, we were all a little bit nervous about his first day. 

The Bean is very social; for that reason alone I think he will enjoy JK. He's ready to interact with people outside of our family and close friends. He is also so ready to have the educational experiences he will receive at school. He is curious and learns so much naturally. The student-directed, play-based experiences he will have this year will fulfill a lot of his natural curiosity. He is also ready for some independence. 

Except that's hard too. Our kid is a homebody. He's likes getting hugs and snuggles. He loves his sister fiercely. He knows his boundaries here. He knows even if he pushes those boundaries that he is loved without exception. Being away from this space, his home and family, for 6.5 hours a day will be a big transition. 

I think that's just a bit of what we saw today. Excited yes, but also not so sure. He put on a brave face this morning and marched into the playground with hardly a backwards glance. As we waved goodbye he shouted to us, "I already made a new best friend!"  Oh sweet child.  

At pick up, he reported that he had a "great" day. He made a new best friend. He was the only kid in the class who called his teacher by her full name, and not just "Miss". But someone pulled on his shirt on the playground. Fortunately a neighbour a grade ahead comforted him and told the teacher what had happened, which made him feel better. He fell asleep on the carpet during quiet time when there was quiet music playing. Tomorrow he wants us to send a blanket so he can be cozier. The family photo we tucked in his backpack "helped a lot," but he missed us when he went out for recess and forgot the photo inside. (My heart broke a little when he told me that.) They had an assembly, but he wasn't sure what it was about. The only classroom activity he reported was listening to music on headphones ("for a very long time"). He barely ate any of the lunch I packed, didn't see the note I had tucked in there, and was pretty much sobbing from exhaustion at 4:45pm. He fell asleep before 6:30pm, approximately 3 minutes after his head hit the pillow.   

We talked about changes being hard. About how being away from your family is hard, but how things would get easier as he made new friends and got used to being at school. I know he will be fine. Better than that, even. (At least I hope he will.) Still, I'm going to feel a bit guilty sending him back tomorrow knowing that it's not going to be that much easier for him right away. My baby. Growing up.

Not so sure.

Putting on a brave face.