Sprout is Seventeen Months Old!

Today Sprout is seventeen months old!

What a busy month it's been.  Let's dive right in...

-The Bean has been home with us the past full month, and it's obvious that Sprout just adores him.  There's a lot of monkey see, monkey do going on at our place these days.  Very silly.

-Because The Bean is home, we've officially switched Sprout to one nap a day.  She's exhausted by noon(ish) when I put her down and usually falls asleep within 15 minutes.

-Nighttime sleep is still a bit precarious.  We're following the same dinner/bath/stories/bed routine, but now do stories in The Bean's room before bed.  She usually nurses for at least half an hour, and falls asleep around 8pm.  Lately she's been waking up a few times during the night, my suspicion is that it's those darn molars.  She usually goes back down without being picked up if I just lie her down and rub her back for a minute.  She's up for nursing around 4am and sometimes goes back into her pack'n'play, but sometimes doesn't.  We had a few glorious days of 6:30 and 7:00am wake ups, but recently it's been more like 5:30am.  Ugh.

-If I wrote this update on the 24th (when I should have) I would have said her two bottom molars were very close to coming thorough.  It's the 28th and I both through now.  Thank the gods.  (Though I suspect we still have a few more rough days ahead while these ones finish errupting, and if history can be used to predict the future, I would also venture to say that we have several more months of teething hell while her other nine teeth come in.)

-Maybe because of the teeth, but she's been nursing more frequently recently.  Instead of just nursing when she gets up and goes down, she's also been asking for/demanding a mid-morning "snack."  I'm not thrilled about it, but I also feel like she's been eating less and figure maybe she's added the extra nursing session to make up for missed calories.

-The language development is still coming along.  Other than "please" no new words spring to mind immediately, but she will often try to repeat things we say to her.  She's also started this pointing and guttural talking thing.  Like she doesn't want to make the effort to say the word.  I just realized it was going on, so I'm trying to be more diligent about getting her to say what she can rather than just piecing together meaning from her actions.

-She's becoming quite bold in her gross motor movements.  She likes to go up and down stairs on her own now.  She's not entirely trustworthy, but when she's got her mind made up about it, she'll push your hand away.  We hover nearby.  She also LOVES the trampoline.  We were at Jen's parents' place and their neighbours have one and Sprout was having a blast running across it and "jumping" on it.  She also spinning in circles.  Much like her brother did at this age.  She's also a climber... ladders, onto the couch, over the foot board of her brother's bed...

-She's still a super-snuggly girl and manages to worm her way onto your lap if she decides that's where she wants to be.

-Her favourite toys are still her "babies."  She carries or pushes them in a stroller all around the apartment and will ask for her special baby (a small Waldorf doll) when she's going down for a nap or to sleep.   She also really likes balls and has recently gotten into sand toys.  She loves throwing sand.

-She actually loves a lot about the playground these days --the sand, the swings, the slide.  She can go up and down the slide on her own, but will often ask for a hand going down.  She has no fear of stairs, even very steep/high ones.  She also loves being pushed really high in the swing.  We get shocked stares from other parents at the park.

-We spent a week at Jen's parents.  She adores them.  Aside from grandma and grandpa, me, Jen and The Bean are her favourite people.  She's very affectionate.  The other night she even ran back into The Bean's bedroom to give Jen a goodnight kiss.  Too cute.

-Food is about the same.  She's taken to wiping the food off her tongue if she decides she rather not be eating it.  She's a pretty good eater though and a huge mooch.  If you're eating something you can count on her coming over to check out whatever it is you have.

-Her toddler-ness is really shining through in that if she doesn't get what she wants she's taken to pitching a big fit.  Sometimes I give in, sometimes not.

-She maybes seems a bit taller.  It feels like she's outgrowing her sleepsacks.  I also think her feet may be growing.  She loves shoes and it seems like ones that were fitting her well last month are starting to get a bit snug now.

She really is such a joy to be around.  It's hard to believe that she's going to be one and a half next month.  The days are flying by and we are doing our best to enjoy every one of them.

{this moment} worm watching

A Friday ritual. A single photo  - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama.

Summer

After a seemingly endless winter, my thoughts have turned to summer.

As I mentioned before, our daycare provider had thyroid cancer and had to undergo radiation, so The Bean was home with me and Sprout for a while.  Things went well.  Much better than I expected them to, to be honest.  I figured out a schedule that seemed to work for all of us.  We also had a few visits and trips that broke things up.  It got Jen and I thinking about daycare and my job situation and what really made sense.  Having both kids home definitely helped out financially.  Looking at our budget, it didn't help out enough to make the situation a completely permanent one, but it opened up some discussion to the possibility of me looking for other types of work.  Namely evenings and/or weekends.  Just enough to make ends meet.  We hadn't really decided that that was what we were going to do, but we talked about taking the summer to figure things out.  Only, we weren't sure how our daycare provider would feel about it.  So, when she came to us two weeks ago saying though now cancer-free she would like some additional time to recuperate, we were quick to agree to keep The Bean home for the summer.

And that's where we are now.  The Bean, Sprout and I have until September to hang out and figure things out.  So far we've been having fun.  It is BUSY.  The apartment is an even bigger mess than usual.  Chores and errands are far more difficult to complete. But I think we're all pretty happy to have this time together.  

There's no way I will ever regret getting to spend time with my kids while they are young.  I miss teaching fiercely.  I miss being around other adults and having actual conversations.  But this time to watch as these kids figure out their way in the world?  It's a gift.  Sprout adds new words to her vocabulary daily.  She is a joker.  She adores her brother and gives him the sweetest kisses before his nap, even if he wipes them off, complaining that they are too wet.  And The Bean?  He has boundless energy, except after naps when he just wants to snuggle.  He tries very hard to assert his will, sometimes frustratingly through yelling and throwing tantrums, other times with surprisingly compelling or hilarious arguments.  He makes up songs and stories which I really should be writing down.  He loves the outdoors and is currently enamored with the dandelions growing on our front lawn.  He has told everyone we've come across the past two days about them and ever so sweetly has extended the invitation to "come over any time and you can pick some" to many people.  Yesterday, when I put him to bed, he told me "I love you my sweetheart."  So far three seems to be an age of extremes, but I am still glad to have the opportunity to experience this three-ness while it lasts.  

So that's where we are: messy house, tired mama, long to-do list, but a pretty happy family overall.  If it seems quite around here it's probably because we're out picking dandelions.  Feel free to come over and join us though.  

Project 52 Catch Up (Weeks 17, 18 and 19)

A portrait of my children, every week for a year.

17/52

The Bean: We discovered a way to use up some of his excess energy.
Sprout: Had so much fun getting soaked at the Children's Museum.


18/52

The Bean: Finding things to give the birds so that they can build nests.
Sprout: Bird watching.

19/52

The Bean: Little boy.  Big adventures.
Sprout: On the tire swing.

Mother's Day

A lot of people have been asking me what we do for Mother's Day, and I feel kind of guilty admitting this, but Mother's Day is pretty much a non-event in our house.

When The Bean was in daycare he'd come home with cute crafts and cards x2, which I though was quite sweet. Now that both little ones are home with me, Jen and I agreed that doing something on behalf of the kids for each other seemed a little silly.  

I know some two-mom families who love making a big deal of the day.  And I get that.  Anyone in this situation had to overcome at least a few obstacles to become a mother.  And that's totally worth recognizing and celebrating.  I know other's who divi up Mother's Day and Father's Day, renaming them appropriately.  That's just not us.  

A day spent together, which is what we've got planned, is probably the way we would all prefer to celebrate.  Maybe we'll go to a park.  Maybe the kids will cooperate and I'll get a cute photo of them together, or even better, be able to get someone to take a cute photo of all four of us together.  Maybe I'll paint their hands and stamp them onto a little canvas, or at least a piece of construction paper, because I know next year those hand prints will seem impossibly small just like last year's and the year before's do.  Or maybe the kids will give us what we really, really want and sleep in until 8am.  (Yeah, right.)    

Whatever you're up to tomorrow, I hope all the mother's reading enjoy their special day.

{this moment} sharing

A Friday ritual. A single photo  - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama.

Urban vs. Suburban Living

I'm a city girl.  I was born in Toronto and have lived within a 2.5 mile radius my entire life.  As a young child I dreamed about living in the country.  More specifically, I wanted to live on a farm in the country breathing fresh country air and riding my own horse everyday after school.  But by the time I was a teenager I couldn't imagine living outside the city though.  That only amplified when I was in my twenties.  And though I still love all the city has to offer, I can see advantages to suburban living.

So, even though it's nearly 300 miles away, I feel like our kids are fortunate to have a second home in what I joke is the country but Jen adamantly argues is the suburbs.  Jen's parents still live in her childhood home and several times a year we're able to go back there and visit.  Extended visits, like the one we had last week, are particularly nice.

As soon as the kids wake up they're begging to go outside.  We try to distract them indoors until the sun has warmed up the air a little bit and the grass isn't quite so wet with dew.

They're happy to play in the yard, but the country-loving girl in me always tries to encourage them to walk down to the nearby park to visit the pond and "forest."  The promise of being able to feed the geese and ducks the heels of our bread usually gets the sometimes obstinate toddler to comply with my requests.  Once the crusts have all been gobbled up or dissolved into the water we make our way through the woods on the far side of the pond.  The Bean likes picking up pine cones along the way.  Sprout still gets carried most of the time to speed things along but also so that she doesn't trip over roots or get poked by the twigs on low branches.

I sometimes imagine how different their lives would be if they had this open access to the outdoors all the time.  I think they would love it.  But then we drive to WalMart and I see man + woman = marriage bumper stickers and people dressed in head-to-toe camo and I know that someplace like this wouldn't be the best home for us.  We need the acceptance/indifference of other city-dwelling folks.  The balance we have of a home in the city and a home-away-from-home in the country seems to be a pretty good one for our family.

I'm curious to know where other people live and how you decided on settling there.  Feel free to comment, if you're so inclined.

Sprout is Sixteen Months Old!

Today Sprout is sixteen months old!

It was actually a few days ago, but we were away and I wasn't really keeping track of the dates, and then I thought we might as well wait until after her fifteen month well-baby check (oops), but Sprout is Sixteen Months and Five Days Old doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

It feels like this little one is growing up much more quickly than her brother did.  She's bridging the gap between baby and toddler, with more of the toddler side being evident everyday.  She wants to talk and move and do so many things herself.  But she also wants to be picked up and nursed and snuggled a good bit too.  I miss many of the "baby" things, but it also so fun to be able to do new things with her.

-She is having a huge language explosion.  I feel like the past few months have been pretty remarkable in this regard, but right now she is repeating tons of words and using about one new word a day.  You have to be around her a lot to notice that's what she's doing, but I still find it pretty amazing.  New this month are some animals noises --like an elephant trumpeting, a horse's neigh and a sheep's baa which sounds like a laugh when she does it.  (I noticed it for the first time when I took her to Riverdale Farm and she was looking at the sheep --too cute!)  The doctor said that she should have at least ten words by now, but my guess is that she's somewhere between 50 and 100.

-And again, her comprehension is great.  Her best listening "trick" is that if I tell her she needs her diaper changed and ask her to come lay down she does!  She doesn't always do it for Jen though.  Another pretty good one is when we say something about going outside and she literally runs over to the closet to get her jacket and shoes.  We actually have to be careful not to say anything before we're ready to leave because she gets upset if we make her wait!  She loves going out and really loves being outside.

-Her walking is still a bit wobbly but improving and her bow-legged stance is getting less bowed.  She tries to run and jump, which is pretty cute.  She loves running/jumping/rolling around on the bed.  She also thought the neighbour's trampoline that we were able to get her out on last week when we were at Grandma and Grandpa's was pretty awesome.  She loves to dance and this moth figured out how to turn on the spot.  She also had lot of opportunities for climbing at Grandma and Grandpa's.  She's fearless around stairs, which is terrifying, but I've been trying to get her to sit and bump down them rather than just taking a huge step into nothingness and tumbling head first to the bottom.  The results have been mixed.  If I should her name I can usually distract her long enough to run over and grab her hand.  Going up isn't really an issue, though I still like to stand behind her and spot.

-She's come a long way with her eating.  At this point I would say she's a pretty good eater.  She nurses in the early hours of the morning, so she doesn't want breakfast right away and our current go-to breakfast for her is an over-easy egg cut up into small pieces that she mostly feeds herself.  She's also pretty happy with cereal.  Lunch and dinner she often has what we're having.  She loves rice, noodles, cheese, soft vegetables, chicken, lentils, hummus, bananas, crackers/cookies (rice rusks or animal crackers).  She seems to prefer savoury foods, and likes a little bit of spice but won't turn down a cookie (fruits and yogurts don't get that same reception though).  She mostly drinks water and loves to drink out of a glass with help.

-Sleep is more or less what it has been.  I chalk up the particularly brutal nights to teething, but she still has never done more than about an eight or nine hour stretch.  Usually she's in our bed from about 4am on, though lately I've been remaining alert enough at that wake up to nurse her and then put her back in the pack'n'play for another hour or so.  I think Jen and I are both ready for her to move into the other room, but we don't want to risk having two children awake at 4am.  I'm hoping by 18 months we're able to make the switch.  We've switched her to one nap a day and she seems to be doing better.  She consistently sleeps from about 12:00pm (when she is EXHAUSTED) to 2:30pm, but wakes up twice during that period and needs to be nursed or rocked briefly before she'll go back down.

-Since I mentioned teething I'll also note that she got her top right molar shortly after the last update, but it is still working it's way down and that she got her bottom left lateral incisor a week or so ago.  It seems like there are many more teeth (molars) on the way.

-No notable size change lately.  She's been in size four diapers forever now and is mostly wearing 12-18m clothes.  She's stretching out a bit, but not gaining much weight these days.  The pediatrician confirmed that she's 23.4lbs and 32.1in.  75th and 90th percentiles respectively, according to his charts.  It's strange to look back on old photos and see how chubby she was.  I had kind of forgotten.  She still has an adorably round belly.  Exact same shape I had as a baby.

-Her toys of choice these days are her "babies."  She loves carrying around dolls and stuffed animals.  Strollers and the shopping cart are also pretty popular.  She also loves dressing up.  Beaded necklaces, hats, shoes, you name it.  She found the Halloween costumes and spent a few days in a horse costume and another few days wearing a kitty hat and crawling around saying meow.  I felt sort of bad putting them back away.  Balls and finicky things like the pop up bugs are still big too.  We've been playing outdoors a good bit and she will try to mimic The Bean and play soccer, hockey, t-ball and golf.

She continues to be the happy, strongly opinionated and strong willed child she has been from the beginning.  It's such a joy being her Mama.

16/52

A photo of my children, every week for a year.

The Bean: Seeming so very grown up at times.
Sprout: Still a bit reserved in new situations.  (But quick to warm up.)

Disappointed

This is a hard post for me to write, for a few reasons:  I really try not to focus on negative things in this space and  I also try not to criticize others.  I'm going to do a bit of both here.  This is a subject I've avoided blogging in the past, but in light of what's happened the over the past few weeks I feel like I need this space to process things a bit.  I may end up taking it down.  I worry about who might stumble across this and what implications that could have, but for now I need to get this out and have it heard.

There are a few issues at play.  I'm going to try not to be too mumbly jumbly in my thoughts, but consider this a fair warning.  

So...

Growing up I was quite close with my mom.  I was surprised and also very sad when she kicked me out of the house.  I consider that incident a turning point in our relationship.  Prior to that I really did believe that she loved us (her kids) unconditionally, as she had always told us she did.  Afterwards I questioned it.  There have been incidences since then that have made me question some of the other things I always believed were innate to her character.  This goes beyond a child not recognizing their parent as a "whole" person.  Sometimes I honestly wonder if she was ever the person she said/I thought she was.

Always, but more notably since the kids have been born, she has made a point of saying how family is her number one priority.  To be fair, she has visited more often and also helped out a little with cleaning and the like from time to time since the little ones were born.  Last week, when I hurt my eye I honestly didn't know how I would make it through the day without help.  Jen stayed home Monday, but I still wanted someone around on Tuesday.  I called my mom.  She explained that she had a big meeting for the volunteer committee she chairs on Wednesday and that she had to prep for it, and so she wouldn't be able to come.  She also explained that leaving her dog would be hard.  I offered to pay to board the dog for the day, but she still said she couldn't do it.  I understand that her committee is important to her, but it still hurt to hear that she wouldn't come help when I really needed it.  I'm usually quite happy to have her come when she offers, but I rarely ask.

Still feeling like I needed someone, I called Jen's mom.  Without a second of hesitation she said she would be there.  I got my aunt to come help with the kids in the morning.  And my mother-in-law arrived just after the kids got up from their naps in the afternoon.  She stayed until Saturday, so that I could have a full week with help --being able to rest when I needed it.  Having someone available to drive since I wasn't cleared to.  Playing with the kids.  Cleaning up.  Preparing meals.  Everything.  And not one word about any plans she had to cancel or complaints about sleeping on our couch or the cost of gas or having to drive all that way.  Not one.  In fact, she seemed excited to be there.  Happy that I would ask her for help.  The thing is, with her I am not one bit surprised.  She has proven time and time again that she would bend over backwards to do what she can to help us and the kids.

And even though I am not surprised and I am exceedingly grateful, I also feel sad about it.  I want to have the mother who will do this for me.  For my family.  Even though I both love and like my MIL to a degree that most people find perplexing, it's hard to know that my mom isn't willing to do the same.

Right now I would do anything that I thought our kids needed me to do.  I hope that this doesn't change as they grow up.  I want them to know that they can count on my for both love and support.  I know what it feels like to not be able to do that, and it's not a good feeling.

*Jen pointed out that I didn't explain that my mom lives just over an hour away while her parents are nearly six hours away.  So the fact that my mom wouldn't come and her mom would is that much more notable.