*Navalgazing* Reflections at 20 (+2) Weeks Pregnant

Halfway there!
...assuming this baby comes when she is due, which I'm not really counting on.  I think a 12.12.12 birthday would be super cool (especially as it would be a nice complement to The Bean's 1.11.11 birthday), but I tend to think that this little one is more likely to be a Christmas baby. 

It's been a pretty good week.  I'm still up and down tummy-wise, but made a huge effort to get more water this week, which I feel helped a bit.  I was also able to get a few naps in, which was wonderful since nighttime sleep hasn't been the best.  It seems I have at least one hour every night where I'm tossing and turning.  A lot of times I end up on the couch, which seems a lot more comfortable than bed for some reason.  My sister loaned me a wedge, which has helped a lot more than I expected it to, but it's still not a fix-all. 

The midwives confirmed (via the radiologists report) that we are expecting a girl.  I've joked with Jen that I hope she's a tomboy since she'll have to wear all her big brother's hand-me-downs, but I'm thinking she'll probably do okay clothing-wise.  I picked up a few little things at Goodwill this week.  For $1 a piece I figure you can't go wrong.  (The Bean even got a new shirt and a few potty books.)  A friend who's given us a ton of boy's clothes for The Bean told me we could have anything she's still got from her daughter, so I'm sure there will be a few cute things coming our way from her.  Ashleigh from 2moms2dogs2babies also offered to loan us some of her girls' stuff and I'm hoping my highschool friend who had (boy/girl) twins back in February will do the same.  Between all that, any gifts we may receive, and the gender-neutral clothes we already have we should be set for a while. 

Now that we know the sex we've started talking about names a little more seriously.  We had two girls names we really liked with The Bean, but one is completely out since it's the feminine version of his name.  The other we still like, but aren't as sure about as it's quite common and I've since had a student with that name and it's hard to break the association.  Jen isn't crazy about most of the names I've suggested, stating that they're "too girly", she tends to go for names that can be shortened into more boy-ish nicknames, but I don't really like many of those.  I guess we have a while to come to an agreement. 

And, we did manage to get a belly shot yesterday, so here I am in all my 20 week glory:

Happy Monday everyone!

{this moment} belly kisses

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama.

My Family! Giveaway

Quite some time ago now we received an email via the "Contact Us" on the blog from a woman, Cheril Clarke, asking for our feedback on a commercial she had produced for television featuring "healthy, 'normal' same-sex families". 

You can veiw the commercial on YouTube.

The email was really nice, and I was happy to give feedback.  I also thought that the company, My Family! looked interesting.  They are publishers and online retailers of books, music, DVDs and (forthcoming) games for children with LGBT parents. Their goal is to build a strong and diverse community of parents, teachers, journalists and bloggers who care about the upbringing of children with same-gender parents, their overall representation and access to content that positively reflect families like theirs.  I wrote back to Cheril and proposed the idea of hosting a giveaway on our blog to help promote her company to other LGBT families.  She was all for it! 

So, I'm happy to annouce our very first giveaway: a copy of Freddy and Frieda's Travelling Tales: Meet the Families by Claudia Eicker-Harris.  

How to enter? Visit My Family!, browse around and then come back to here and let me know which product you think looks great.  One comment per person please.  The winner will be chosen randomly.  You'll also have to leave or send me your email address so that I can contact you if you win, and the winner will have to be willing to share their name, address and phone number with Cheril so she can get the book to you. That's it! (Value of print is $9.99 USD.) Ends July 31st.  Open to U.S. residents (or people with a U.S. shipping address) only. 

Here's a brief Q&A with Claudia Eicker-Harris, author of Freddy and Frieda's Travelling Tales: Meet the Families.

Who are these adorable mice, Freddy and Frieda? What was your inspiration for the characters?

The characters had to be small enough to fit in my luggage when I travel the world so that I can write about the people that they meet as we journey around the globe. I started off with Pat the Pack Rat, but, quite rightly, my clever publishers said that a rat might not go down too well with parents! Freddy and Frieda also had to be cute with a dash of mischief so that children would relate to them and field mice were the logical choice. They’re cute, but they can be quite naughty too.

We understand that “Meet the Families” is the first in a series featuring Freddy and Frieda, can you tell us a bit more about the book? What kind of families do they meet?

Ah, you’ll have to read the book to find out everything, but suffice it to say that just about every type of family, from gay to straight, from single parent to step parent, from mixed race to mixed culture is represented. The objective was to put all families on a level and say, it’s ok – you’re normal too.

How did you start out writing books for children?

It’s not very unique, I’m afraid. I’ve always been a writer, but until my wife gave birth to our baby girl, Eva, I hadn’t ever written for children, only for corporate companies and for theatre. I started telling Eva stories at night and I realised that they had an effect on her. When her friends started listening to the stories and enjoying them too, I decided to start writing them down.

When did you first realize that you wanted to write an all-inclusive family book for children?

I think it was when I got tired of trying to find stories that Eva could relate to and feel comfortable with. I wanted to see all of Eva’s generation represented between the covers of one book. It’s easy for society to say that they’re accepting and inclusive, but go to a mainstream bookstore or look at parents’ bookshelves and you’ll see a different picture. Parents, as much as children, need to be taught that sometimes being different is just as normal as being ‘normal’!

How many books have you written? Are they all LGBT-inclusive?

I currently have three books out. Morty and the Selfish Elf, Meet the Families and City Rooster.

Morty and the Selfish Elf is a tale of friendship, forgiveness and inner beauty. Sometimes it takes an unexpected act of kindness from an unlikely source to make someone realise that true beauty comes from within. This is what happens when Morty, a not-very mean monster, meets a very pretty, but very selfish elf. By saving her from a dreadful beastie, Morty teaches the elf that all pretty creatures aren’t necessarily good and all ugly ones aren’t bad.  The story aims to teach children that, in a day and age where outer beauty has almost become an obsession, it is inner beauty that really matters. The book also has an underlying anti-bullying message.

City Rooster will be going into schools across South Africa because it is being published by Heinemann, South Africa’s foremost educational publisher. It is the story of how the Hadeda became the rooster of the city. When Crowsfoot the Rooster wakes up one day to find that his farm is being encroached upon by a quickly-developing city, he decides to leave and find another farm to live on. But, he’s worried about who will wake the people of the city every day. He holds auditions and after some fun and funny incidents, chooses the Hadeda because of her raucous and cheerful laugh. The book teaches children about a few of the many different bird species that are found in Africa, what they look like and their calls. It also introduces an awareness of urban development. 

How has the reception been to your LGBT works in South Africa? Have you ever traveled to America to meet your publishers?

South Africans are very open minded, in general, so they respond well to LGBT work. I think that, once Meet the Families is more widely available here, I will be able to give a more accurate answer. I have been to America a few times, but that was before Dodi Press was in my life. I’d love to meet my publishers face to face, but I think (and hope) they’ll probably come to South Africa before I get over to the States again.

How did you find out about My Family Products?

I do a lot of research into LGBT-friendly societies, companies, publishers, churches, schools etc and, when I was looking for a publisher for Freddy and Frieda, I came across them online.

What is your perspective on the rapidly changing industry of publishing? Do you think children will quickly take to e-books and apps as opposed to traditional books?

Sadly, yes. Although I think technology is amazing and wonderful, I’m going to miss the printed word. I think children are incredibly adaptable. A friend of mine says that you can see how different kids of the new generations are because they walk up to a TV or open a magazine and start trying to move things around on the page or minimise and maximise things with their fingers! It all gives new meaning to the words ‘the world at your fingertips’! I think children are already very comfortable with e-books and APPs (more comfortable than their parents in many instances!).

What do you like to do when you’re not writing?

I spend time with my wife, daughter and our three dogs. We love being outdoors either walking the dogs, cycling (my wife is a tri-athlete so we all have to try and keep up!), going on picnics or gardening. If we’re indoors, we’ll usually read or spend time doing ‘art’ together. We spend a lot of our free time with family and friends. Our parents and siblings are very involved in our lives and we love being with them, as does Eva.

What’s next for Freddy and Frieda?

They’re off on another adventure, travelling the world and meeting disabled children who come from all sorts of families.


Good Luck and don't forget to check back and see if you won next week!

Ultrasound Update

Okay, okay, I know (some of) you have been waiting for this...
The ultrasound yesterday went well.  It was long.  We were in the office for more than 2 hours and had three different techs checking Sprout out.  Seems she was pretty comfy in there and didn't want to move so they could measure her arm and heart properly. 

Did you catch that?

It appears we're going to be having a girl!  However, I still need to confirm that with the midwives as the techs made it clear that they weren't allowed to say anything.  The one that we spent the most time with did try to give us a view of the "bits" but neither Jen nor I could tell what was what.  The reason we're thinking girl, is that when showing us the close up on the sex, the tech pointed and said, "That is the cord you want to look here" and pointed again (Jen and I shrugged at each other).  Then later, when trying to get arm measurements, said something like, "I can't get her arm", whereas, like the other techs, up until (and following) that she had been very careful to say "the baby". 

While my mother's intuition may have been off, I am beyond happy.  As I would have been if we found/find out we're having a boy.   

So, do you want to see her?

Our beautiful baby: 

Marketing to Babies and Toddlers

We were, once again, very kindly gifted a number of hand-me-down clothes for The Bean.  I love this because not only is the life of these (perfectly fine) clothes extended, but it also saves us some money.  Kids' clothes aren't cheap!  Especially if you consider most of them only get a season or two of wear. 

I'm certainly not going to turn down generous pass-alongs like the ones we just received, but something I've noticed before struck me again with this batch, which was the number of "characters" depicted on them. 

As I'm sure I've mentioned before, The Bean watches next to no television.  I know he sees an occassional video on rainy days at daycare, sat on Grandpa's lap watching golf while we were in PA, and will stare intentely at the Julia Child DVDs when we're double checking how to prepare artichokes, but screen time is something we conscientiously try to avoid with him.  While at times it would be lovely to have a 20 minute break while the TV babysat for us, we know it's of no benefit to him, and worse, has shown to be detrimental. 

That said, of his 50 or so words, one of them is "Thomas".  Like many toddlers, The Bean loves vehicles, and I'm sure the word Thomas is something he picked up while playing with friends at daycare or at the drop-in centre rather than from a TV show, but still, it made me cringe a little when he was able to identify what we normally refer to as "the blue train" by name. 

It doesn't bother me when he calls his baby doll Jean Luc because I know he is never going to see a Jean Luc t-shirt in the store and beg me for it, or a Jean Luc book, or fruit snacks with Jean Luc on them.  With the beloved blue train, I cannot be so sure. 

So, when folding and putting away this newest batch of hand-me-downs I thought about whether we should keep the Thomas, Cars, Elmo or Spiderman ones.  Will having these characters' images plastered across his torso make him favour other items brandishing their faces?  Is this even something we can avoid, or will he end up favouring these items marketed to the youngest subset of society anyway?  How young is too young to start thinking about media awareness? 

I know that these characters are not something we can avoid, but we have to decide to what extent we will allow their presence in our lives. I do think that with many of them the programming around them holds lessons that can be of value. 

To be honest, it's not just the characters that get to me.  I'm not thrilled with the idea of my child being a walking advertisment for Gap while wearing their logoed hoodie either.  But he has a Gap hoodie and I still put him in it.  It's warm and cozy and it looks cute on him.   

It's hard to know where to draw the line. 

I want to be able to read him a Curious George book without him wanting us to buy him the Curious George doll.  Or Harry Potter without needing a wand, or iPad app, or all the DVDs (although, admittedly, I would like those for myself).   

I want him to be able to take a toy, character or not, and use his imagination to make up his own voice and story for it, rather than feeling like he needs to rehearse a prescribed script based on a show he's seen.  My heartfelt belief is that the best toys for children are the ones that lie there until the child makes something out of them.  Blocks.  Playsilks.  Sand.  While we have many toys that encourge imaginative and creative play, truly open-ended toys only make up a small fraction of The Bean's collection. 

I'm compelled to start looking at organizations like Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood to gain furthur insight on this issue.   What about you guys, do any of you think about this when buying your kids stuff, and if so, what are your thoughts?

*Navalgazing* Nineteen (+2) Weeks Pregnant

Once again, I feel like there's not a whole lot to update on this week.  I've been anticipating the ultrasound this afternoon and feel like once we get the results from it, that will be the update. 
This past week ended up being a good bit busier than I had planned, and I thinkI got pretty tired out as a result.  I'm not usually one for napping, but I think I've had at least three good naps in the past week.  I've also continued to find that being out in the heat is not a good thing for me right now.  I end up feeling really sick.  Hopefully it starts to cool down a little over the next few weeks, though it's often quite warm through September here. 

I thought I was over the worst of the pregnancy sickness, but this morning it hit me.  Hard.  For a long time I wasn't able to drink my morning cup of tea, but in the past month or so have started to enjoy it again.  I don't know if that was just too much this morning or if I ate something that disagreed with me yesterday, but I was in the washroom with a not-good feeling stomach and all of a sudden just threw up.  All over myself.  All over the floor, and toilet, and even the walls.  I wiped things up and got in the shower and feel much better now, but that was a pretty unpleasant way to start the day.  

In much cuter news, this weekend The Bean started pointing to my stomach and saying "baby".  I still don't think he really understands what's going on, but it's really too adorable not to make note of.

We missed taking a photo again last week, and are late with this week's.  I intended on having Jen take one this morning, but all three of us slept in and it didn't happen.  I can't figure out the self-timer on the camera, so hopefully it happens tonight.  I'll update when it does.  (The camera battery also died about 3 shots in to The Bean's 18 month photoshoot, so those are still coming too.  Hopefully before he's 19 months.)

Predicting Baby's Sex

So, today is the day of our ultrasound.  Neither Jen or I are good with keeping things a surprise, we're also both fairly type-A and like to be prepared, so we didn't even really have to think twice whether we'd find out the baby's sex.  (We'll tell you as soon as we know. ;) )

I've gone back and forth in thinking of this baby as a girl or a boy.  Right now I'm leaning towards thinking it's a boy mainly for two reasons:
1) It was explained to us by another lesbian mother that the way they time IUIs, the chances of conceiving a boy are higher.  (They are timed to happen AT ovulation, and XY sperm swim faster.)
2) The heart rate is low, and it's an old wives' tale that low heart rate = boy.  Sprout's last check up had him/her clocking in a 144bpm, and according to lore below 140 indicates a boy, but to me 144 seems close enough. 

Just for fun, here are some other old wives' tales for predicting sex: 
-If you're carrying low, it's a girl.  If you're carrying high, it's a boy. 
I think I'm carrying high.
-If your linea nigra only goes up to your belly button, you're having a girl.  If it goes up above your belly button, it's a boy.
No line yet.
-If your left breast is larger, you're having a girl.  If your right one is larger, you're having a boy.
I refuse to say. 
-If you break out, you're having a girl.  If your skin is clear, you're having a boy.
I've probably been slightly less broken out than usual.
-If you are experiencing severe pregnancy sickness, you're having a girl.  No sickness, you're having a boy.
I felt pretty wretched for a while.  Medication helped.  The past few weeks I haven't been taking any pills and don't feel 100%, but certainly don't feel as bad as I did before.  Except for this morning when I vomited all over myself.  It was about as lovely as it sounds. 
-If you crave sweet foods you're having a girl.  If you crave salty or sour foods you're having a boy.
I'm probably craving more sweet than salty foods, but that's usual for me.
-If you pee on baking soda and it doesn't fizz you're having a girl.  If it fizzes, you're having a boy.
Didn't do this one.
-Take a ring, attach it to a thread and have someone hold it over your belly.  If it swings in a circular motion, you're having a girl.  If it moves back and forth, you're having a boy.
Or this one.
-A Chinese Calendar will predict the baby's sex based on your age and the month your baby was conceived. 
Or this one.

I think I come out neutral based on those "predictors", but either way, I'd have a 50/50 chance of being right. 

So, what to you guys think, is The Bean going to have a little sister or a little brother?

{this moment} Grandma

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

 

Inspired by SouleMama.

Adventures in Granola Making

I love granola. 

I'm not exactly sure when the idea first struck me, but I've had plans to make granola from scratch sitting in the back of my mind for a long time now. 

Today, with a bit of a break in the heat and nothing else on the to-do list, I decided to give it a go.  There are literally hundreds of recipes online, but I decided to start with a source I know well, and gave this recipe a try. 

We only had a few of the ingredients on hand, so I had to make a quick try to the grocery store to pick up the rest.  I'll admit I became a bit overwhelmed at the store.  I wasn't sure which oats to buy and the selection of nuts and seeds had me filling up my bulk food bags and then emptying them as I found something I thought would work better.  (I ended up going with raw and unsalted.)  At nearly $7.00 for a cup of pumpkin seeds, I chose to leave them out and I didn't find sesame seeds until after I had checked out (they were by the sushi stand, naturally). 

In the end I used:
-large flake 100% whole grain oats
-sunflower seeds
-almonds
-whole wheat flour (I couldn't find whole wheat pastry flour)
-cinnamon
-sea salt
-coconut oil
-maple syrup
-apple juice
-pure vanilla extract
-pure almond extract

I'm happy to say that I would consider my first foray into granola making a success.  I wouldn't mind if it were slightly sweeter, but a handful of raisins seems to do the trick.  Jen and The Bean seem to have enjoyed it too.  It's a good thing, because I doubled the batch! 

Note: For anyone who's interested, I would guess that the total ingredient cost was about $10 for about a gallon/ four litres of granola.  I haven't done a price:volume comparrison, but granola is pretty expensive, so I'm guessing that I probably saved a little by making it myself. 

Quick Health Update

Just a quick update on my midwife appointment from Monday and The Bean's doctor's appointment from yesterday.
All is good on the new baby front.  This was a pretty brief appointment.  My urine test came back fine, and my weight gain (16lbs!) was also not a concern.  They were able to find the baby's heartbeat easily.  144bpm, which has me thinking "boy" though I'm not sure how accurate that is.  We should be finding out for sure next week. 

The Bean had to go in for his 15 month immunizations yesterday.  We must have overlooked them in the schedule, so we're a bit behind.  We're going to do his 18 month ones next month as there's a slight chance of ferbile seizures in doing these two together.  He was a champ for the shot.  Not a single tear.  They also weighed and measured him.  Here are his stats:
weight: 21lbs (2.3%)
height: 33in (60%)
weight for height: 0.4%
head circumference: 19in (49.7%)
We were excited that he is on the charts now!  Looks like he's just going to be a slender kid. 

We also got his pelviectasis ultrasound results from back in May.  It looks like there's been improvement.  I don't remember the exact wording, but our peditrician said they used the mildest wording possible without saying that the issue has resolved itself.  We will do another ultrasound as soon as we can book one, and hopefully it will show that it's not a concern anymore.  Not that we've been too concerned about it, but still. 

Other than that he seems to be meeting all his developmental milestones, most of which I think I mentioned in his 18 month update. 

In other words, everything is looking good for both/all of us.