This blog post is part of the June 2, 2014 synchroblog “Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day” Be sure and check out the other posts! You can find the list here!
WorldPride is being held in Toronto at the end of this month. It's usually about this time I start hearing bits and pieces about Pride. Often Jen and I talk about which of the events we would like to attend --sometimes the big parade, other times one of the concerts, last year it was the family events at the public school in the gay village. I'm sure we'll have that discussion again soon and mark on the calendar when we're going to head down town to join in the festivities. And while I've have enjoyed myself in the past, and will surely enjoy myself this year and into the future, the truth is that Pride really isn't my thing.
Don't get me wrong --I love living in a city and country where it feels "okay to be gay." I love that we are friends with gay and lesbian people and parents. But I would not use the word "proud" to describe my feelings about my sexual orientation.
I didn't choose to be gay. In fact, if I could have chosen, I probably would have chosen to be straight. Though I'm completely at peace (now) with my sexual orientation, it's not something I am proud of. To me, being proud of being gay feels akin to being proud that I'm a twin, or that I have detached earlobes. It's not something I did. It's just who I am.
However, I am proud that I stood up for who I am. That I stayed true to myself even though I lost family members and friends. I am proud of the work that has gone into my relationship with Jen. Dating long-distance for six years. Making it through the immigration process. And I am proud of our wonderful children and the dedication that creating our family took.
If that's what Pride is about, count me in.
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You have many things to be proud of. Orientation is but a small part. What a beautiful family you've created too!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. My husband and I are in the process of separating because, finally, after 16 years, I've come out of the proverbial closet. I've known I was gay for years, but wanted to be "normal." Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, for your honest words. xoxo
ReplyDeleteErin --I meant to respond to this comment sooner. Forgive me. I'm happy for you that you've decided to live in a way that is authentic to you. It can be difficult at times (though so can living in the closet!), but I think you'll find yourself more at peace. All the best.
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