Spring

This afternoon the kids noticed that the bulbs we planted in the fall are beginning to sprout. While this week is forecast to be warm, I'm not counting on spring starting just yet. Still a new season is around the corner and with that come the awareness of time passing and the ever-pressing need to figure out a plan or at least pin down some firm possibilities for the coming year.

We registered Sprout for kindergarten a few weeks ago. It's a bit hard to believe that our three-year-old will be in full-time school in the fall. I also checked off the box indicating that we are interested in before and after school care for the kids. Not knowing what my work schedule will be, in seems prudent to get them on the wait list now and cancel the spots should we not need them rather than scramble to find care later.

There hasn't been any progress on the job front. A few weeks ago I did a big search and came up with a few new schools to apply to, but I still haven't updated my resume and sent out cover letters. (Well, I did for one that someone had told me might be hiring, but aside from that I have not.) I know it's important and I will do it, but it is a daunting task. I've been mulling over non-school teaching options --educational programming, tutoring and the like. Again, I need to search out all the possibilities, though there are a few I should get on sooner rather than later. Then there's the idea of going back to school. Tomorrow I'm hoping to finally make an appointment at a government office to see if I qualify for any assistance in going back to school. There's a program here that will job train for in-demand fields. I'm just not certain I want to work in any of those fields. It really is a mind shift. Hopefully after talking to someone I'll have a better sense as to whether that's something to pursue. I'd love to go back and get my Masters of Education or continue my Psychology Degree, but while potentially interesting, I don't see those as being something very practical options. It's hard to know.

Fortunately I'm feeling less crippled by this task than I did a month ago. The anti-depressants seem to be helping. I had some side effects -stomach pain the first week or two and then extreme fatigue for another week or two following that. I still feel like I'm more tired that I typically would be, but I seem to be adjusting. I find I'm a lot more patient with the kids and I have a more reasonable perspective on minor things that I was formerly getting upset about.

Not that everything is roses. My sister and I still are not speaking and I do not see a reconciliation in the near future. In fact, I have no interest in future contact with her unless she makes some indication that she is apologetic about the way she's treated us in the past and will try to show us more respect going forward. Fortunately we haven't had contact for several months now. Unfortunately Easter is coming up and my mom wants to get the family together. Jen and I agreed that we do not wish to join in the celebration if my sister will also be there. My regret is that this decision means that our kids are likely to miss out. It also brings into question how future celebrations will be handled. Thanksgiving. Christmas. I don't think it's fair that we'd always be the ones to bow out, but I also don't seeing her being compromising enough to take turns. I don't think it's fair: to us, to our kids, to my mom, but I also don't see another option. I guess we will see what the coming seasons hold.